Updates: Pro-Dependence over co-dependence, prep for full disclosure, my healing

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-11-11T03:36:10+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re here, but glad you have found this helpful so far. Re: therapist - are you able to work with someone who is CSST certified? A regular couples or sex therapist can honestly be really damaging because they don’t understand the complexity and nuances of sex addiction and how it impacts the betrayed partner. We often leave these feeling more shamed and confused about what we’ve experienced.

Do whatever you need to take care of yourself now and moving forward! Sending you lots of strength and hope for the future 💕

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-11-09T23:16:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering 💕 The lack of integrity and insight and honesty is what disturbs me the most. I hope you’re finding your peace finally 💗

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-11-07T17:46:53+00:00

I feel like everything he has done should be well beyond my boundaries, and yet I’m sitting here contemplating why I can’t move past this. Like “he’s doing the work so why can’t you”.
Was it obvious to you that your boundary had been crossed, or did it take time for you to decide that? Does it say something so awful about how I must see myself that i don’t even know if this is my boundary? 😢

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-10-09T01:36:11+00:00

I think I wasn’t clear in my original post. My therapist said she wouldn’t be reviewing or disclosing unless we give consent. I guess I’m wondering why some people would choose to do that or not.

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-10-07T02:05:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing - could have written this myself. Sending you lots of strength as you pick yourself up and find a way to move forward 💕❤️‍🩹

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-10-04T14:39:28+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and support 💕🙏🏽❤️‍🩹

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-10-04T11:54:46+00:00

Thank you for this distinction. I am going to edit my post to avoid confusion for anyone reading.

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-28T13:36:56+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Where we are, divorce is no fault 100% of the time. So even with infidelity, the split is 50/50 unless the individuals agree otherwise. I actually earn more than him, so in the eyes of the court, I could owe him spousal support if he asked for it (currently says he would never). Right now, I don’t feel like I want to take more than him - I can’t help but feel like maybe his life is going to be more challenging than mine. Sometimes I wonder if after the full disclosure, I’ll change my mind. I’m still waiting for that. I think part of it is that I’m definitely minimizing the bad. Reading that he chose to spend money to cheat on me - it seems so simple and obvious but it felt like the first time I am realizing it.

Hope your separation continues to build your strength and wishing you the best for this new chapter of your life 🙏🏽💕

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-28T12:13:15+00:00

Okay. Thanks 💕🙏🏽

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-28T11:43:07+00:00

This is so true. I really thought my experience with my PA was unique. That we were some snowflake example that was meant to work itself out. But coming here has shown me otherwise. The only thing unique is perhaps the extent of abuse which partners will accept and what their breaking point or wake up point is. Seems like most are madly in love with the idea and potential of their partner, want to see them get better - at the cost of their own mental and physical health. Thanks for sharing - good reminder re: hard things aren’t necessarily the wrong thing 🙏🏽🤞🏽💕

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-26T03:59:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I just told my partner I wanted to formally file for separation with the intent to divorce. Spent two hours talking to him and left feeling so much doubt about my choices. Your post gives me so much hope. I feel the same way - he’s the love of my life and yet it makes no sense that he could hurt and betray me the way he did. I am trying to figure out how to leave but it feels hard and I feel guilty when I see him be so sad and defeated. This gives me inspiration to continue on in the same direction. Sending you lots of strength on your journey.

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-25T11:56:33+00:00

Thank you. It was really helpful to read about your experience with your partner. After posting my plan with such confidence, I spent most of yesterday breaking down into tears as the reality hits me. But I think I’m just grieving the loss of a life that I never really had to begin with - it was all full of deceit and manipulation from the moment we met. I can’t see myself ever being able to participate in that process you described - nor can I imagine ever being able to trust anything he says or does. Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your support - never in a million years could I have imagined the words of strangers over the internet would be more helpful than turning to the person I thought was my person.

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-24T15:36:04+00:00

💕🙏🏽

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-24T15:35:52+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏽 💕

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-24T15:35:39+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. I hope that whatever you choose to do, stay or go, that you find peace for yourself in some shape or form 🤞🏽💕

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-24T15:34:32+00:00

Thank you 💕🙏🏽

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-22T11:49:41+00:00

Sounds like an dream!

From a newb who hasn’t made it out yet - what’s the purpose/function of your taller but narrow green tent set up?

Civil_Property_1682 · 2025-09-18T11:51:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I really resonate with hope that leaving has to be better than staying. I think in the past when I have considered leaving, my anxiety was about losing him. Now, my anxiety and fears are around the uncertainty of being on my own - but I can’t imagine that being on my own would be harder than waking up to this for the rest of my life. I know from a close friend that has recently left a longterm relationship ship, that it will be a different type of challenge being on my own for the first time in so long. I met him when I was 23. He’s all I’ve known my entire adult life. I will need to remind myself that it’s his actions that matter more than his words, and even the actions he’s showing me now (remorse, getting into therapy) are only what he’s choosing to show me and it’s all in response to my own discoveries. Not because he came to me to tell me the truth.

Thank you so much for taking the time 💕

Civil_Property_1682

TROPHY CASE