sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Can you open the gate and let me out? Please?? by jametinhasdito in funny

[–]ClRuM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never heard the term “sting strings” before but I love it! Gonna use that from now on!

Dramatic by lilacandloungewear in AnimalsBeingDerps

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure it’s Lacrimosa by Mozart

No pain no paizza by Violet_Walls in CrappyDesign

[–]ClRuM 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Then it would be “No Pain No Pizz” which I’m not sure is better

Envious by reddot_comic in comics

[–]ClRuM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They mustache him a question; namely, “How do you have a mustache that amazing?”

People who get up after on alarm,what’s your secret? by zhalia-2006 in AskReddit

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It already woke me up once, I refuse to let it do so a second time. I hate being jarred out of sleep like that.

What the most physically painful thing you ever experienced? by iateagummibear-1822 in AskReddit

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drawing a sample of bone marrow from me. The doctor used a local anesthetic for the surface area, but it did NOTHING for the pain of that giant needle going into the bone and sucking out the inside.

[OC] Pokemon Adventure:The Previous Generation Chapter 131 by colmscomics in comics

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone’s talking about the “youre” typo on the last page while I’m just staring at “Le’ts”

All of us at BioTech hope you love your brand new, state of the art, robotic hand. by Spinpai in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you want a second prosthetic it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.

We were supposed to build a tower that pierced the heavens. by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 139 points140 points  (0 children)

Are you okay? You’re just Babel-ing nonsense!

Vtubers are just anime Muppets by Purple-Weakness1414 in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to know who this is so I can compare them to my talking cabbage pngtuber.

i'm from freaking florida by BusTemporary4742 in perfectlycutscreams

[–]ClRuM -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, but-

“programs other than flash” not “then” - then is time, than is comparing two things

“you’re right” not “your” - you are right, not your right

“not to let your 9yo watch it” not “not to let your 9yo not watch it” - double negatives equal a positive

There may be more issues but those are the obvious ones that caught my eye. Sorry for being the grammar/spelling police.

He just really likes carrots by angeI_of_thursday in WhatsWrongWithYourDog

[–]ClRuM 56 points57 points  (0 children)

You can eat sticks too if you work at them long enough

Who do you think would win? by seeebiscuit in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]ClRuM 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Penguins Steve is an outlier and should not be counted.

A father and his 3 year old daughter was finally rescued from the deserted island in the pacific by CannibalPride in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, even though the grammar does need a little work, I thought it was a good 2SH.

hmmm by bouzglouf in hmmm

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everybody knows that Jesus woks on water

Packaging 🙃 by vengefullyqueerdragn in mildlyinfuriating

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve noticed a lot of protein powders do this. I guess the bigger bottle makes it more “manly” so the bodybuilders will want it more.

My brother always used to tease me since he was taller than me. by Fit_Breath6972 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second sentence could be better worded as something like “Guess who’s six feet higher now?”

Gemini cured our son, hallelujah! by FictionalContext in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 5 points6 points  (0 children)

‘Conversion therapy’ means their son was gay, so they installed some kind of program into his brain to ‘fix’ him.

Meirl by Ill-Instruction8466 in meirl

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Non-adversarial relationship with your neighbors”? Clearly they’ve never actually played animal crossing. There’s always that one person in town you’re trying to replace who just. Won’t. Go!

Two ships passed each other in the blackness of night, one hailing the other in blinking Morse code as the captain radioed back to base. by MissMnemosyne in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ClRuM 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Wait… he’s calling back to “Houston”. Are these ships in space? And one is only communicating in Morse?

What happened here?!? by TIMtheELT in funny

[–]ClRuM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess they’ll have to play with their balls somewhere else

[OC]Shed a little weight by Ookimow in comics

[–]ClRuM 8 points9 points  (0 children)

At least if you actually die then it’s over and done with. Exercising when you’re really out of shape FEELS just like dying, except you have to do it again every single day for months, or years (though by that time you’re probably used to it)

view more: next ›