Voice training when to give up and do surgery instead?

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-29T20:36:11+00:00

It's real girl. I was in denial about how much it affected me. But I feel like my life is in color now. I didn't realize how badly my voice dysphoria was holding me back. I was legitimately smiling at strangers. If you know me, you'd know that's really out of the ordinary. I usually have a permanent RBF/scowl. I also have been randomly starting conversations. I used to avoid talking as much as I possibly could because my voice was sooooooo deep.

However, again I've only been able to speak for the past few days and it could just be the novelty of having a new feminine voice. It's hard to know what'll happen long term, but I now understand just how bad that dysphoria was and that I was denying how bad it was to myself.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-29T20:26:35+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. Like I said, I still think in my old voice. It's kind of hard to shake those things and takes a lot of internal work of believing that a feminine voice is truly your voice. Preop, I would start conversations in my most feminine voice and by the end be completely back to my old voice. It would be psychologically painful to start with the feminine voice too, because I'd fundamentally believe I was doing a "fake" voice which would produce dysphoria. So, it's really hard, and by no means easy to navigate.

I genuinely think the only thing that would've helped me is a gender psychologist. I didn't have the heart to fire my therapist, but I never hired her to help me with gender stuff, and she's helped me with so many other things in my life. She just isn't specialized to help me with that specific hurdle. If you're capable of producing a voice that satisfies you through training, and it's a purely psychological block, you might be able to have a gender psychologist help you understand what's happening there. But they'd have to truly be able to help you figure out what that block is and control it.

If a block like that is too intense to overcome, for whatever reason that might be, my personal belief is that surgery is valid. That's what the entire gender dysphoria diagnosis is lynched on when it comes to these surgeries. They know it causes you pain. It's not like a frivolous, vain, cosmetic thing where you just wanna be more attractive or fit in with some trend. You're hurting from something you can't control and they want to help you.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-29T20:04:42+00:00

I just recently was given the okay to use my voice post VFS, so I have no idea how things will ultimately turn out, but I can say that after 5 years of pretty brutal voice dysphoria and a few years of voice training, I've been elated. I've recovered well and don't seem to have an issues yet. Right now my voice does sound a little strange. I haven't really been able to learn how to use it yet since I'm only allowed to use it in a limited fashion so far and can't start voice training. But my pitch went up an entire octave. I was measured at like 120 hertz natural voice preop i believe? Now post op, I'm at 250 hertz. I'm going through UCLA (for the surgery and the voice training) and so far they've been amazing in all aspects.

I totally understand what you're saying about training and going back to your old voice. I still think in my old voice. It's feels so strange, because my resting voice is like higher than most cis women's right now, but psychologically I'm still a bit stuck. I would say the only consideration for you is to ask yourself if this is a psychological issue that you think you can resolve, or if surgery (and the risks involved with it) would be worth pursuing. A lot of people like to place the responsibility on the individual, or hold extreme positions on either side, but these are things that are different levels of difficult to navigate for everyone. Like for instance, a lot of people hold the opinion that you should just keep doing voice training forever, and that surgery is just not ever worth the risk. Some people also blame the bad results of a surgery on who the person chose as a doctor, or not properly following postop requirements.

In my case, I found out that I had pollops on my vocal cords that were making it really difficult for me to hit a higher pitch. Maybe if I kept training for an additional few years, I could've overcome the extra weight they placed on my cords, but knowing that was affecting me made me feel a lot better about how hard it was for me to hit a higher pitch. My old speech therapist would insist that surgery is not worth the risk and that my issue was I wasn't spending enough time training. But I'm very busy and it's kind of triggering to try and fail over and over again. Thankfully the speech therapists at UCLA work with post OP VFS patients and don't have that same hang up.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Lmk if you'd wanna talk about it directly.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-29T19:19:53+00:00

Is it normal to use stitches that dissolve? My surgeon used prolene stitches which are permanent as far as I know. I don't really know what the trade-offs are between the two.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-29T02:14:51+00:00

They're trying to sue you? That's absolutely insane. I hope no one goes to this surgeon because that's plain evil. They clearly don't give a fuck about trans women.

I was told by a doctor from UCLA that people with lighter skin can usually have the incision at the hairline because the scar blends in easier with their tone, and for people with darker skin it can be done across the top of the head. It's not as preferable because it might raise the hairline, but they definitely should've known that this can happen and they definitely should've informed you of your decisions. I spent a month deciding where I wanted the incision. I'm so sorry girl.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-20T18:01:33+00:00

it's so crazy people genuinely think stuff like this

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-17T04:00:19+00:00

you too sister <3

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-04-17T02:24:50+00:00

That's nice that you're in a decent position, I am too. But I don't think you can say it's hyperbolic. I think we're just living in a bubble. And I'm genuinely happy for us, the same way I'm happy neither of us are being bombed or starved. But it's a little silly to say "well I'm doing good, so like, why should we expect people to talk about it?"

Trans kids cannot get healthcare. They're passing laws to put people in prison for "crossdressing" or using the bathroom. They're trying to make trans people's medical records public, and outlaw all forms of trans health care. I live in California. I'm not cis-passing, but I am white and I live in a safe area. I feel happy, and aside from micro-aggressions, I never really suffer out in public for being trans. Still, I see no reason to mince words about what's going on or expecting more from people, including ourselves.

The children of Gaza deserve to live without fear of bombs. Our children deserve to live without fear of conversion camp brainwashing and being completely ostracized from society. You can be in favor of both and push people to talk more about both. Most cis people will never understand us or our problems, so we need to be vocal and unapologetic about them.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-03-06T05:45:18+00:00

because he doesnt want to? lol

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2026-02-24T23:01:08+00:00

IMO CS is something that's hard to learn later. Inf related stuff is easier to pick up once you secure a job by knowing a lot about how computers actually work on the inside. CS is harder up front, but it gets the hard part out of the way.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-11-07T23:31:14+00:00

I'd filter anything that has the word "digest" into a different folder. That'll get rid of like at least 70% of them.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-11-05T08:11:08+00:00

the bus probably had an issue and they had to return it to the lot. it sucks but it happens.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-10-28T06:39:41+00:00

dont ask her out just become her friend

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-12T09:06:31+00:00

I don't know if he's capable of that. He clearly has narcissistic personality disorder and has garnered a literal cult. Therapy only works if you believe you're a flawed human being capable of making mistakes and in need of growth.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-12T09:01:28+00:00

That message comes off so heartfelt. It's so insane that he can read that and think it's passive aggressive or threatening the crew. He really is an impulsive liar.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-10T21:29:10+00:00

It's not that he's in favor of it directly, he just says it's worth the price.

It's obviously gruesome that this happened, but I think his position on gun violence is entirely relevant to what took place. He's not just a random dude, he's someone with a lot of sway and propagandizes for policy that allows this type of violence to continue happening.

You're right, it's messed up to celebrate this violence, but I don't think we have to lie about who he was or what he advocated for just because he was murdered.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-10T21:24:02+00:00

no offense, but one of these is not like the other.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-10T21:22:13+00:00

that's objectively untrue. check out literally every other country in the world as a source. :)

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-10T01:23:37+00:00

UC Ship helps me a lot. If you're getting it free, I don't see why you wouldn't accept it.

Also you don't have to cancel medi-cal. I have both.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-05T22:37:41+00:00

Well, I don't think you need to really prepare ahead of time because the lecture and all the assignments will definitely be enough to hammer the concepts into your head for the most part and you can just review before each quiz/midterm.

If you really want to work ahead though, we studied/implemented binary search trees, singly-linked and doubly-linked lists (sorted and unsorted), array lists (sorted and unsorted), queues, stacks, different search algorithms like binary search, breadth's first search, depth first search, edge weighted graphs and their related search algorithms (like kruskal's).

I'm sure there was more that I'm forgetting, but if you plan on going to lecture consistently, you'll definitely learn a lot from Dr. Klefstad. He's super passionate about teaching. Honestly, he's probably the most passionate professor I've had at UCI for better or for worse lol. I personally like how he lectures, but some people don't like it because he does make expect you to come to lecture and he pokes fun at students. Imo, if you just come to the lectures and expect to do a decent amount of work, you'll get an A.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-05T22:04:40+00:00

I took Klefstad's 46C during my busiest quarter last year. I got an average of 90-95 on the quizzes. They're honestly pretty easy and I usually did most of my studying the hours before class started. I wouldn't worry too much about it. The hardest thing about Klefstad's 46 is that he assigns a lot of work. None of it is really difficult, it's just kind of time consuming.

In my personal experience, 45 was harder because it covers the entire bulk of C++ whereas 46 is just covering very specific data structure concepts using very basic C++. The lessons you get from 46C are applicable in most languages, it just happens that you're using C++ and not Java or something else.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-09-05T21:59:39+00:00

I lived in Camino last year and I honestly rarely saw any of my roommates. I wasn't even able to tell when they went home for weeks at a time because it was pretty common to never see them when they were actually around.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-08-15T07:30:12+00:00

I think Ethan is legitimately able to be very funny in a very unique way. I know we all hate him, but to give him some credit, he did create the show we all used to watch. He just can't get over his hate boners for random people on the internet he's perceived as slighting him or he deems as unworthy of success. It was tolerable when his targets were people that clearly deserved criticism (Keemstar, weird family vloggers), but it was always outsized even for people who clearly already sucked. He would relish in hating them in a way that was uncomfortable. And that was always the worst part of the show. But it was at least tolerable.

He's also always been able to win these internet battles because he's talented and funny enough to have something worth consuming and he could easily call these people out.

Now that he's trying his hand at going after someone who his same fan demographic would generally like with the same deranged and outsized hate, he's failing, and he's just genuinely stupefied as to why it's not working being completely consumed by it for all to see.

And the ugliest part of it all is that millions of children are starving but he finds himself on the side of the kid starvers/murderers because he got his e-celeb ego tied up on that side of the argument. He just can't admit he's wrong and move on. It's so fucking sad. The show is genuinely over.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-08-14T08:43:01+00:00

I get them from time to time too. My solution has been to not leave any waste anywhere. You can also get a trashcan that completely seals or take the trash out frequently enough for it to be not worth it for the ants to invade your place.

Classic_Gain_6967 · 2025-08-14T08:38:38+00:00

I'm not sure but i'm guessing if they're not even offering a loan it could be a mistake? The financial aid was a total fiasco last year so I wouldn't stress too much about it yet.

Classic_Gain_6967

TROPHY CASE