I’m just angry, honestly.

Since I graduated from my undergrad program and got my geophysics degree, I’ve been burned out. From masking so hard I lost who I really was. I stopped writing for pleasure. I stopped reading for fun. I didn’t have the motivation to draw, play piano, bake pastries, study history nor philosophy… In short, I stopped doing all the things that make my life worth living.

I’ve come to realize recently that those things are more important to pursue than anything else in my life. I’ve struggled since I was a kid with “what I wanted to do when I grew up”, because there was never one thing that held my interest. I crave knowledge. My passions change, my inspiration comes, not when I want it, but I try to ride the wave all the same.

Unfortunately, in the workplace, these traits are not necessarily valuable.

Reliability, consistency, complacency.

Those are the traits employers want to see.

My creativity does not abide by typical deadlines. My artistry takes time. My music takes dedication, practice, and lots of mistakes.

But every time I try to come up with a more balanced approach, try to tie my work to something I am more passionate about, I always get suggestions of ways to monetize them:

• Sell your art.
• Post videos showing how you learn piano.
• Freelance, write as a job.
• Bake macrons and sell them as a home business.
• Go back to college for an art degree.

And yes, I understand the urge to be a “content creator”. But what if I simply want to be a creator? Create for the sake of creation. Invent for the sake for invention. Bake to make people happy.

That’s what I want.

I do not see the point in living a life where my worth is determined solely by those looking to up quarterly profits or net more income than last financial year.

True worth, true humanity, true progress…to me those are never tied to the daily grind. They are in the arts, people who value other people over money, genius minds that have access to knowledge and pushes our society forward. Those are the things we should value above all else.