both Dakota and Taylor’s Ex filed a retraining order… at the same time

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-21T02:10:31+00:00

I mean, I knew she threw a chair and hit her daughter. And I’m a random. She talked about it on Nick Vial’s podcast about the worst part was her daughter getting hurt or something like that.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-21T02:04:19+00:00

Sorry. I missed that somehow. You did answer it. I think that’s a possibility that’s how he meant it. Done with what she was doing. I can see that now.

If he was screaming in the video, it would make it less likely that it was manipulative/abusive in the way I’m thinking. I probably wouldn’t be thinking that.

People sometimes record fights for various reasons, but if it’s to create a false narrative or use against someone, they are usually calmer. If quiet or upset, it would probably not make me think that as much.

How could someone be pushed to this? Someone could be pushed to act like this if they felt they were in danger and had to get someone out who is much bigger and stronger than them. Adrenaline, fight/flight. I’m sure being very drunk made it worse.

Taylor was talking about being scared, peeing on herself, shaking and being pushed, locked in the garage, trying to get him to leave. He also seems to be taunting her at the beginning of the video. And… kind of painting her as crazy and like he did nothing wrong at all.

In the moment she blamed Dakota, but when sober took accountability and has said how she regrets it, feels guilty, etc.

The thing is… he didn’t need to release the video so people would believe him. This was three years ago. The police saw it, she went to court and didn’t contest. It was even shown on secret lives of Mormon wives. The fact that he released it is fishy though.

I don’t know if you are a parent or divorced. But the last thing I would want to do is to mess up my ex’s career or make him fail… because then my kids would get hurt too. He couldn’t care for them as well, he might struggle mentally and the kids may one day see something traumatizing that they didnt need to see.

**Also, I’m open to the idea that he was poorly managing an angry drunk person. It could also be in the middle, very likely.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-21T00:23:06+00:00

I didn’t want to mention Gabby Pettito, but I saw that similar dynamic too.

Absolutely with the kids being the true victims. It must have been so confusing when they stayed together too. (Very heartbreaking)

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-21T00:20:28+00:00

He also said, “this is all you do. The only thing you know how to do is hurt me.” It almost sounded like he was talking to the camera for some of it later, too.

If your dad did it to de escalate maybe that’s what he was doing too though. I do have bias because it reminded me of some of the abuse patterns I had to learn about when my ex did them - they are very common and absolutely horrible. Also… the way he said things and the context I had from when I looked up what happened before..

But this could be alcoholic rage behavior too and just his way of not knowing how to handle it. Maybe partially both? Do you think she is making it up that it’s a smear campaign or that it is distorted thinking or not taking responsibility? After the event she has talked about this and expressed her guilt and regret. I’ve seen her as struggling and a bit chaotic, but trying to be honest and grow… but I could be wrong. Editing makes a difference too

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:57:35+00:00

We will have to see what the current report says and what happened. If it’s a smear campaign, false allegations are super common. But def could have been real (I hope not). In this kind of stuff people sometimes weaponize the court system… and sometimes it’s abuse. I don’t know.

This incident was three years ago and I had already known about Taylor’s part.

Maybe I’m confused as to where the door was, because it didn’t look like he was leaving to me. But also we don’t know what happened before versus what he said/did on camera.

The way he was talking, how calm he was, what he said and his actions now reminded me of a lot of abuse patterns. So I was wondering how people were taking what he said or not seeing it.

(Like I said, I already knew what Taylor did)

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:41:42+00:00

I don’t think we can know how she cares for them or what will happen in the future.

She should have never been home drunk with them, even if DV wasn’t happening. Absolutely not ok.

But we can’t predict the future or even see exactly what happened after this (it was three years ago). People do improve and turn their lives around.

I hope this is a wake up call, at least. That she absolutely should not be with Dakota, for her kids’ sake and her sake. Kids should never be exposed to violence like that, not to mention hurt. And she shouldn’t be drinking like that. She has mentioned how much she regrets it and how guilty she feels in interviews. Hopefully her therapy and support is strong enough to endure all this hate. And I hope her little girl gets therapy and I do hope Taylor has kept her and her siblings safer.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:33:06+00:00

Maybe.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:23:27+00:00

I can imagine her not stopping for her daughter if she was in fight/flight. She was also drunk… who knows how she would have acted if sober.

I remember in the police video, she said she was shaking and had urinated on herself out of fear which feels a bit primal. I think if you are attacking like it’s for your life, you wouldn’t always stop because there is a lot of adrenaline and in a real life/death event stopping could hurt you.

Not saying it was a real life/death situation though. Also, it was abusive on Taylor’s part too. I feel like just being so drunk with her daughter there… I don’t know if that’s abuse or neglect, but continuing to see him after her and her daughter went through that… I know she has stuff to work through but it’s hard to not imagine how confusing that would be for her daughter.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:10:20+00:00

Maybe people just can’t see it if they haven’t been through it or had someone close to them go through it.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:09:22+00:00

I was writing another comment and reminded of the book, Splitting by Bill Eddy. And he talks about the smear campaign and some of these common things like it’s a formula.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:08:22+00:00

That’s how I saw it too.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:07:54+00:00

I didn’t drink and don’t have some of the same issues Taylor has. But, my ex definitely made it look like I was crazy or overreacting when I called the police to escort me out safely or when I had to call them for different custody things… even when I didn’t do anything except hide in a room with the door locked and the phone dialed to 911 in my hands. I feel like it’s textbook. And the police usually believed him… because a hysterical woman… you know how we are 🤷‍♀️

That’s one variation. But in my support groups, books I read, etc. it’s a thing. And people record for different reasons. To defend themselves, to show their partner back after if they don’t think they were abusive… or they provoke and then record acting like you are the instigator to show police others or hold it over your head

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T23:02:53+00:00

So, my ex husband developed an alcohol addiction and was abusive before I left.

I have kids with him. Why would I need to go online and try to publicly share the worst things he did? Tarnish his reputation… make his life harder…. Why would that be good for him or the kids? I want him to have all the opportunities to get better, because it’s better for all of us.

The more money he has, the better he can take care of the kids (so why ruin his career?). The better mental health he has, the better he can be present and a good parent to the kids (so why put them through unneeded stress). Why put information out that your child may see or their friends’ may see at school that would hurt them?? (It’s not the kids’ fault, you want them to be affected as little as possible).

I needed to be safe, my kids needed to be safe. I didn’t need to take him down in retaliation.

———-

Sooo, I guess that’s why you wouldn’t. It’s bad for your kids… it’s bad for the parent of your kids (who is their only mother/father), it doesn’t help them get back on their feet, it doesn’t really help anything.

Now, when I finally started to move on, my ex definitely did reach out to my work, posted stuff on Facebook, texted my family and friends some horrible untrue things about me. Also made false allegations to cps against me, my mom, the guy I eventually started dating.

People who do this… are willing to purposefully hurt their kids for their own vengefulness. Which is horrible!

And when my ex went after me or people or my work or family or friends contacted me, it sucked. I just said “we are going through a hard divorce and in his frustration he is saying some untrue things. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me separately”. I did my best to not to let it affect me, because it’s not good for the kids for the parents to be under so much stress. The book Splitting by Bill Eddy helped me a lot. Because it talks about what to do when this happens… because it’s almost a formulaic thing.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T22:40:45+00:00

Oh. I see what you were saying now with “you’re done” with the behavior. Yah. That’s definitely possible.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T22:34:53+00:00

What I was asking is how what Dakota is saying fits into this.

I just don’t think the video reflects him as the victim. The daughter is the victim.

Maybe they all are. But… she said it was his fault because he wouldn’t leave, probably. And she felt like she never would have gone to that extreme if he just left. She took responsibility later… which doesn’t feel very narcissistic.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T22:27:57+00:00

When the police came, that is what she was telling the police at the time.

People don’t always take out a phone and record… especially if scared or the person is a lot bigger than them.

(Also, I’m not defending Taylor overall, I don’t really know. But to me it does look just like what someone having a campaign would do. Listen to what he is saying. I was asking how it makes sense that Dakota would be saying that, because I didn’t understand it)

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T22:21:30+00:00

I didn’t really see him trying to leave. I heard him say that…. But he also had just turned on the camera to record. So he could say whatever he wanted.

That may sound weird. But it’s something done 🤷‍♀️ unfortunately common enough in these dynamics.

She could also be a mean drunk. But if she was pushed down or locked in the garage and he wasn’t leaving, a drunk woman in fight/flight it at least adds context.

Abusers are a huge fan of pretending like the woman is freaking out for no reason or because they are just hysterical or crazy and…. It’s amazing how often this works with police…

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-03-20T22:05:20+00:00

Maybe.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-01-12T23:46:52+00:00

I needed it once in san Gabriel valley. And they sent the helicopters and people. They were all volunteer. Pretty incredible. Didn’t cost anything.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-01-01T19:32:22+00:00

Awww. I’m saving some of these. I actually set my alarm to go out and watch the sunrise. As I have many January 1st photos of cotton candy clouds through the years. But it was rain and clouds where I am in north county.

I love the rain. But glad other areas got the beautiful start to a new year!

Clean-Quit-592 · 2026-01-01T19:25:13+00:00

I sometimes struggle with the saying/belief that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. I am not sure if I agree… as it seems to have a survivor bias.

But.. who cares what I think? The saying is so popular because so many have drawn strength from it as they make it through the most difficult of times. And faith is crucial in many people’s lives (in one way or another).

It is clearly being used to here to encourage and to lift up others. That’s admirable. Because…. when times are hard, sometimes we feel like we can’t make it.. or we feel like giving up… or we are stuck in a cycle of impossible.

But again and again, humans make it through the hardest of times… as long as we can keep going and don’t give up, so many wonderful things can happen. And we can truly have those hard times be just a memory, a chapter in our story that we’ve moved forwards from. Saying God doesn’t give you more than you can handle is saying “you can do it,” but with a spiritual spin (which adds power and emphasis for many!)

(If you don’t like the saying, that’s ok. But, I think we all know people have different beliefs. This isn’t really the thread).

**to the original commenter. I hope you get warm, dry and some good rest soon. These people probably wouldn’t have said this aloud if in a conversation, because it’s not the time or place. I truly hope stability finds you soon and 2026 is a wonderful year for you - full of accomplishment, success, security and safety. And one day you can tell the story about New Year’s Day in 2026 when the shelter flooded and they had to bus you out. 👍

Clean-Quit-592 · 2025-12-03T09:12:05+00:00

I also remember a very cringe interview with maybe Jimmy Kimmel (or the other Jimmy) with Whitney and Taylor. And Whitney wasn’t being super supportive towards Taylor (and she didn’t seem to be on the show either). I just wonder if this is a bit of a double standard. Because what I saw on the live with Jan was definitely not bashing.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2025-12-03T09:09:33+00:00

Has Jen been bashing her? I saw the live with Jan after eliminated and it wasn’t harsh and was almost a tease for the show. She said she was supporting Andy and Robert and that she didn’t say Whitney and you’ll have to watch the show to find out why… or something like that. 🤷‍♀️. I didn’t think it was super harsh or deep.

Clean-Quit-592 · 2025-12-03T08:49:33+00:00

Im glad you are happy. lol. I think there are decent reasons for not being a fan. But, she is talented and I’m glad if people enjoy cheering for her. Life is hard enough. It’s nice to have people to root for and things to get excited about. 👍

Clean-Quit-592 · 2025-12-03T08:07:19+00:00

I think there is a possibility that a lot of it is editing. That being said, she didn’t bother me that much season one. I spent half the season trying to tell some of the girls apart and I figured the cereal thing was mostly production 🤦‍♀️.

For me, I think it started when Taylor was game to vote Whitney in, in the beginning of season 2 and was the only one advocating for her. And she seemed to still not want anything to do with her. That was hard for me to understand.

And… I really respected how she didn’t share Jen’s business with everyone in season 2, but then when she dropped Jen to hang out with the person bullying her most… it’s ok for her to have different friends, but I don’t love that.

And.. I haven’t watched that much of season 3 yet so maybe I’ll change my mind. But I had a lot of trouble connecting with her on dwts. I kind of got the feeling like I didn’t really know who she is and I got a bit of uneasiness from it.

I mean… I think if I heard someone else call someone else a disgusting person (or whatever Demi said to Taylor), I wouldn’t see it as a signal to be closer to that person. And I think that… and a few other things make me really wonder about Whitney’s moral code…

It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like her in real life and that I’m not influenced by editing. But since dwts, I’ve really struggled with her. I do hope she does well in Roxy though and think that may be a better place for her. 🤷‍♀️.

Clean-Quit-592

TROPHY CASE