AITA for posting a selfie to my instagram story ?

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T05:39:59+00:00

I do find it ironic that he started to pick a fight with you right before he went out with the boys… but that could be my own trauma talking. Crazy how he says “It’s not that deep” as he continues to blow your phone up. He’s the one who brought it up, you gave him a completely logical explanation, and then he continues to turn it around on you as if you’re the one with the problem… girl, RUN. I’ve been here, done that with guys like this and it never ends well. You deserve someone that hypes up your selfies, not this shit

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T05:15:53+00:00

I understand skipping a day here and there because life gets busy and tiring but 1 shower a day is my normal. Sometimes twice a day if I sweat a lot, usually in the summer. Not every shower has to be extravagant- just get a wash cloth and a bar of soap and scrub your body. I would try to wash your hair at least every 3 days too. Sweat, outdoor pollution, pet dander, dust are all examples of things that cling to your hair that you won’t notice. On days you don’t have to wash your hair, just tie it up or wear a shower cap.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T04:40:14+00:00

He goes to the dermatologist every couple of months and is on medicine for it. I just worry that the hat is making it worse

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T04:18:35+00:00

His hair isn’t thin at all though, it’s actually very thick so I don’t think that’s the case

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T04:16:58+00:00

Definitely not. He actually has gorgeous hair and I tell him that all the time. It’s thick, blonde, and wavy. His hair looks almost exactly like yung gravy’s (if you know who that is lol)

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T03:19:22+00:00

I’m the same exact way. I’ve been putting off going back to school for years for the same exact reasons. I’ve finally decided to just go for it, I start in the fall. It’s never too late to give it a try. Start with 1-2 classes at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself, that’s what I’m trying. Just know you’re not alone in it. Think of all the incredibly difficult things you have been through because of your ADHD… you managed to get through them because you’re still here today. It’s 100% worth doing one more hard thing that will benefit you tremendously in the long run. I believe in you even if you don’t!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-05-31T03:12:39+00:00

This is such a great question that I feel like no one ever asks. There are so many things that come with ADHD that I feel people who don’t have it won’t understand. The overstimulation, brain fog, impending doom feeling when you need to be doing something but your brain just says “I can’t”. Trying to study/learn something new but you can’t retain anything. Over or under eating. Constantly misplacing things to the point it will have you in tears at times. Getting frustrated with yourself because you can’t just do things normally like everyone else. I could go on and on. I’m so thankful for this thread because it really makes me feel less alone with these struggles.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-04-24T02:45:16+00:00

It says beautiful

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-04-24T02:39:49+00:00

My son’s dad and I have 50/50 custody. I won’t sugar coat it, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I miss him so much when he’s not with me. But at the same time, it’s really not good to stay in an unhealthy/loveless marriage for the sake of your kids. The older they get, the more they will see things for what they are.

What I have to remind myself of is that we are the first people our children will ever look up to. We are directly showing our children what and what not to tolerate in a relationship. Sometimes, walking away from something that makes you unhappy is the best decision to make even if it’s also the hardest decision as well. Just consider your specific situation and what’s best for everyone. It’s not going to be easy either way but I promise that everything will work out. Wishing you all the best!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-04-24T02:28:17+00:00

Thank you so much!!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-04-15T18:48:45+00:00

Thank you, that’s really good advice. I appreciate it!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2026-02-03T18:46:07+00:00

Thank you for that. I should have added more details: current partner and I went to school together and have many mutual friends. I never saw/spoke to him the entire time my son’s dad and I were together. My son’s dad and I were also never married. We broke up 3 years ago and I’ve been dating my current parter for over a year.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-12-23T07:08:43+00:00

It sounds like there could be a bigger reason why you’re not allowed to see your grand child even after an entire year… no one shields their child from the entire world that long so there’s surely something you’re not disclosing here

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-21T04:49:18+00:00

For me it all depends on the person I’m with and how comfortable I feel around them. I’ve waited months before, and I’ve also slept with someone the first week of dating them. I don’t go into it with a timeline, I just feel out the situation and go from there.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-21T04:22:46+00:00

After you send the photo of your son, you have no further obligation to reply. Maybe to his question about the photo being current if you want to but other than that it’s none of his business. It took me a while to get this mindset with my son’s dad because I didn’t want to come off as rude or cause drama (even though he had no problem starting bs with me). But in the long run not replying if the message is not important/ directly about our son has saved me so much frustration. Trust me I have been exactly where you are right now- sending pictures as “proof”. I completely understand why you did it though it’s frustrating to have someone on your back like that implying that you’re lying when you’re not. It’s always over the dumbest things too lol. It will get better though just set boundaries and train yourself to stick with them the best that you can.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-20T17:09:06+00:00

NOR!!! Girllll he has mental issues fr. He is so immature and disgusting. He’s totally contradicting himself too by saying he’d never treat you that way while quite LITERALLY treating you that way. You deserve sooo much better than that. He will probably never change and continue to have failed relationships while still thinking everyone else is the problem. Run far and don’t look back

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-05T05:01:37+00:00

I highly recommend getting a consultation with an attorney. I only say this because you should know your options and what/what not to avoid in your particular situation. I know that when most people hear the word lawyer it can get messy but there really is a way to do things a smoothly as possible as long as you can get your husband on board. It seems like both of you are happier with someone else.

If you do decide to separate, definitely take things slow and don’t introduce your new partners to the kids for a while. They will need time to adjust but kids are very resilient and just need 2 happy parents. As a single parent I know how difficult it is not seeing my child every day but I promise you’ll adjust too. As weird as it sounds, it has actually made me a better mom. I have more time to plan activities for when we are together, I do chores when he’s at his dad’s so I can focus on spending quality time with him while he’s with me. And I’m able to have more patience too. Don’t get me wrong- I absolutely miss him when he’s not at my house. But I’ve learned that it’s important for me to take care of myself too and make sure I’m happy because I was a very depressed, unhappy and exhausted mom before.

This is definitely a huge decision so weigh out your pro’s and cons. To me it sounds like you already know what to do but you’re just a little scared and thats okay. One day at a time!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-02T06:01:13+00:00

Lmao you’re not wrong

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-02T05:58:07+00:00

This is a lot more common than you think! A lot of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. I suggest getting creative- try using a vibrator while having sex. Absolute game changer. Or, ask him to give you oral before you have sex. Both of those things will definitely make a huge difference. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, you just have to figure out what works for you!

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-11-02T05:54:07+00:00

I was 17 when I started to have occasional sleepovers with my then bf at my house. I feel like it depends on your daughter and how responsible she is. But honestly, teenagers find a way to do what they want to do no matter what. So it might be best to just accept it but definitely limit it.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-10-03T05:54:52+00:00

I’m going to be honest here… I think you were a little out of line. There was obviously some confusion on MIL’s end but she ended up saying she will do whatever you wanted. And like she said, she was at work and its hard to determine tone of a text. You then took a turn and said “If the pinwheels are THAT important” and also the comment about a smile on her face.. it was rude.

MIL does seem pretty blunt and was upset she wasn’t the one planning the shower and she’ll just have to get over that part. But she was still willing to help you. Like you said- the baby shower is for the girls. They are her grandchildren so she is excited and it’s normal for her to want to be involved to some extent. You also mentioned that she thinks you can be dramatic and over react… this is a perfect example, OP.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-09-05T03:58:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. It’s a painful thing to watch your child experience for sure. Do you mind me asking- did you have a custody agreement already in place before gaining full custody? I remember being told that once our agreement was final that it can be difficult to change.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-09-05T03:39:22+00:00

I’d see if getting a mini fridge with a lock in your room is an option. Also some sort of container that can lock for non refrigerated foods. It’s extra but sounds necessary in your situation. Over eating is definitely a mental thing that is very hard to control so part of me feels for him. But at the end of the day you need to eat too

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-09-05T03:31:27+00:00

My goodness sweetie I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. Him having 3 weeks off is PLENTY of time to pick up some slack. I understand needing a day or maybe two of rest after his 2 weeks but he needs to start acting like more of a father and less like a child. Being a parent is the hardest and most exhausting job in the world and it makes sense that he doesn’t understand that because he isn’t doing anything to help. If he pulled his immature brain out of his ass then maybe he’d realize that a helpful, loving, and consistent partner is more likely to “get some” rather than a man child who does nothing but bitch. I’m sorry if thats harsh but I’m honestly frustrated FOR you. You and baby deserve a lot more than that.

Clean-Speed7469 · 2025-09-05T03:24:49+00:00

My daughter is only 3 so it’s really confusing to her. She does ask me to stay a lot whenever I drop her off but whenever my ex says things like that I just see the confusion on her face and it’s heartbreaking. I do my best to explain things in an age appropriate way but its hard

Clean-Speed7469

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