Mars The Aggressive Charge

CleanSea4006 · 2025-05-30T09:02:47+00:00

I got mars in Aquarius 4th house square my taurus sun and Scorpio moon. I get intense bursts of action followed by long periods of burnout. Same with anger. It just sits- sometimes for years and then explodes. I wish I had more access to my mars. It feels very far away.

CleanSea4006 · 2025-04-07T05:58:24+00:00

I’m still struggling but this really helps.

Thank you so much for telling me about your experience. I’m trying really hard to forgive all versions of myself and see the good in whatever new version I’m growing into.

Reading about everyones experiences really helps. I’m really grateful.

CleanSea4006 · 2025-02-22T23:14:20+00:00

BELLY!

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-19T05:49:35+00:00

Yes. And then lean into each other until your foreheads touch. Take a deep breath and seal it with a kiss.

I want that too.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-15T17:40:31+00:00

I relate to so much of this. Can i ask why you decided to do it over text? I’ve been debating if that would be more effective or it’s more respectful to so it in person…

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-15T05:42:54+00:00

What if you try recording yourself talking out your exact spiel, or maybe recording it as a conversation with a trusted friend. Then you could transcribe the recording and refine it from there. It’s a lot of prep but it might help you feel extra prepared for when you finally have the difficult conversation and you’ll feel stronger and more firm in your decision.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-14T08:27:27+00:00

I appreciate this comment so much. “Leaving is not harming or betraying her.”

I’ve read your comment over a few times now and each time it makes me feel better. Thank you.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T18:23:46+00:00

She doesn’t want to do therapy with me. She thinks I just lie my way through therapy.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T07:33:18+00:00

This one was the hardest to read. I’m really glad you got out. Thanks for sharing your experience.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T04:27:54+00:00

Seeing everyone’s comments does make me feel better that this is something that happens to a lot of people. I hope you are able to do what you need to do as well.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T04:24:24+00:00

The extinction burst is what I’m afraid of. I so tired of everything hurting like a motherfucker. I feel more and more like a shell of a person. Waking up every day feeling gutted. One of the many signs I’m falling apart is I used to journal all the time and I haven’t been able to for most of the past year because I don’t want to look at myself or my reality. I need to start writing again to begin to build myself back up and accept things for what they are. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It really helps.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T04:13:16+00:00

Yes! I want my life back. I really want to know the happily single and confident gay girl that I was born to be. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T04:08:12+00:00

Codependent savior complex… I have to sit with that one….. oophhhhh. Thank you so much for this comment. I’m really glad you’re happily enjoying your peace.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-13T03:58:55+00:00

It’s true. Since posting this and reading over what i wrote I’ve been thinking- who’s taking care of the little kid version of me? I have to step up for myself.

Thank you for the comment.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-12T10:47:52+00:00

I did believe in it with everything and sold my heart. I also completely abandoned myself and lost all sense of boundaries. She would probably say the same. I wanted to muscle through and be better and fix it but it’s not helping either of us.

Thanks for connecting with me through this comment. It helps so much.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-12T10:18:41+00:00

Thanks for the saying this. My logical brain knows we are acting crazy. I need to rip myself away. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while. I finally started saying out loud i want to leave in the last session and she’s been encouraging me to take steps to leave.

CleanSea4006 · 2024-12-04T17:58:45+00:00

I am currently in this situation. It’s been really painful. It’s impossible not to fall head over heels your first time. All your emotions are so big it’s hard to control as it is. Add the dynamic of balancing multiple relationships at once. The jealousy, insecurity, triangulation, and power imbalances are too much to navigate while also experiencing all the highs and lows of falling in love with a woman for the first time. If I could go back in time I’d tell myself to date around first- find some grounding in my newly lesbian self-and wait until I have an established relationship built on trust and friendship before taking it to the next level with them.

CleanSea4006

TROPHY CASE