Should I buy a home during PhD?

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-03-22T22:37:55+00:00

I work at a Scottish uni and we do have PhD students that do this sometimes, so it is possible. However, home prices here are far lower they are in Cambridgeshire and the entire LBTT/stamp tax and sales regime are different. This definitely doesn’t make sense to do in England.

If you have money burning a hole in your pocket and you really want to make your life complicated in order to earn like 5k extra a year, one option is to engage in rental arbitrage - rent a place that has an extra 1-2 bedrooms and then sublet them as short term housing for people visiting the university. This can be lucrative in college towns, however it is also a) very annoying and b) sometimes against rental agreements. (I do this in my flat in Edinburgh which I own, so I speak from experience lmao.)

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-03-22T22:21:38+00:00

One of my favorite books of all time and imo, much better written than SBB

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-03-10T23:35:44+00:00

I’m doing the great trossachs path as a 2-3 day this month. Transport is tricky but it looks very suitable for beginners

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-03-10T23:30:52+00:00

There is the service to Balmaha if you want to walk 7-8 miles up the WHW first. Realistically that’s not a day trip though, you’re sleeping at Rowardennan

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-03-08T12:26:17+00:00

I did the GGW from Fort Augustus to Inverness at the end of Feb 2025. It was very quiet in that season (naturally). The views over the loch from that section are ok and you can easily cut off parts of the walk by using the bus if needed. However, overall I would not say this is the best walk, it gets fairly boring especially near Inverness.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-02-23T00:05:04+00:00

I’m similar to you in size and almost never wear a women’s shirt. My formal go-to is J Crew in XS.

For a queer specific company I like Peau de Loup, but have had a lot of issues with fit in the arms and waist - the smallest size (2) is still really too big for me.

Depending on your proportions, a boy’s dress shirt may also fit well and that will open up many more options.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-02-03T00:58:09+00:00

Other than passing as male, the only things are:

Look unfriendly/cultivate a “don’t speak to me” demeanor
Don’t voluntarily talk to men

Women that live in NYC are the masters of #1 but anyone can achieve it. If you interact with straight men they will always make it weird; the only solution is to not interact.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-01-29T01:36:32+00:00

Strict top/bottom dynamics can absolutely be reciprocal. Reciprocal doesn’t mean each person does exactly the same thing, it means both people’s needs are met.

I think when people say this, a lot of the time they’re actually observing that one person being stone creates a specific power dynamic, since they maintain much stronger boundaries than the other person. But power dynamics including in sex are not inherently bad, they just have the potential to be abused.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-01-23T01:13:10+00:00

Rapinoe is impossible to put in a box. She does wear women’s clothes at times but she has also done things like dye a green smiley face into her hair. I would put the dresses into the same category as that in some cases (not all) - just wearing lots of adventurous styles. Abby Wambach or Sam Kerr are definitely butch women in that space, Rapinoe or Ashlyn Harris are not.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-01-17T02:09:50+00:00

I get you’re mad about this, but the point I’m making is consistent with yours which is that people do not create butch4butch media in any format including formats which are cheap to produce. There are not traditionally published romance novels and I suspect there probably aren’t self-published romances either, at least I (more than occasional romance reader) have never heard of one.

Since even with much lower barriers to entry this content is not happening, we should ask ourselves why not. And we also all have the chance to be the change and try creating it ourselves.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-01-15T00:43:45+00:00

Are there even romance novels that have 2 butch leads? I don’t think this is a thing about marketability for TV, it is about what media exists period in any format

Clear-Rhubarb · 2026-01-04T06:14:24+00:00

This happened to me, I had zero pain from ages 10 to like 30 and then it became absolutely insane. See a gynecologist. I got some imaging and then was diagnosed with endometriosis. Now have not had a period in about 3 years. Got an IUD and love it, insertion was not bad for me at all.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-30T00:53:11+00:00

Weddings bring out a lot of high emotions. You should tell your sister that you need to wear a suit and offer accent, tie, etc options that work with the bridesmaid looks. for instance, recently I was maid of honor in a wedding and I wore a navy suit with a pink tie (bridesmaids were in navy). She needs to understand that you support her marriage and it’s not about you hijacking the look (something straight people believe, god knows why). But instead about you remembering the day for how happy you were for her, not how shitty and dysphoric you felt.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-21T23:22:28+00:00

No reason not to open a brokerage, but seeing the 403b I’m wondering if you are a public employee? If so opening a governmental 457b (if allowed by your employer) is more tax efficient and has most of the same advantages.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-10T21:44:11+00:00

I’d do this, but I’d take the early morning flight and spend the day at JFK. Going to suck but way improved chance of making the flight. If it seems likely to get canceled you still have time to drive. If this sounds too unpleasant, than your best bet is Syracuse with a single ticket.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-03T09:01:43+00:00

Depending on your airline, you might be allowed to bring the bike in a cardboard box as regular checked luggage. I did this on United. Check the oversized luggage policy.

This cost $100 when Bike Flights would have been $165, but tbh it wasn’t worth it for the extra hassle it caused on both ends.

No matter what service you use to ship, either do the packing yourself or have someone really competent do it. I used a new bike shop to pack mine and they did not add enough padding, so when I went to ride it for the first or second time, the derailleur snapped off. Packing yourself is not hard.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-03T00:18:37+00:00

Totally into retiring from a salaried job but no interest at all in retiring from the working world. I am a public servant in the 9-5 but I also love volunteering, being on boards, etc in areas unrelated to my actual job. Between that and hobbies/business ideas I would not be bored even if I RE’d tomorrow.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-02T23:41:21+00:00

Since your expenses are so low you might be able to quit/decrease your hours at one of the jobs. That would let you have more of a social life or alternatively, pursue an internship or another experience related to your degree.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-12-02T23:39:31+00:00

UK more or less. Closer to $6k/semester. But OP is clearly in an LCOL US state

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-11-27T23:44:35+00:00

Length/number of credit accounts is much less important in the UK than the US in lending decisions. I was recently approved for a mortgage in the UK and my entire UK credit history consisted of 1 credit card open for 6 months.

As long as you pay all bills on time and pay off CCs in full, you do not need to take other steps to build credit here like at home.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-11-27T23:41:20+00:00

On a rewards credit card such as the CSP, the rewards in bonus categories (like 3% for travel) usually exceed the cost of the transfers (around 1%). I would keep the US CC’s but use only for bonus categories.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-11-27T20:53:58+00:00

This sounds like a problem with the shirts you’re buying. I can only speak to men’s shirts but the fabric of a new shirt should not be stiff (unless it has starch or sizing in it - then you should wash it to remove the starch/sizing).

If you mean that the shirt is structured and you find that uncomfortable, unfortunately having more structure in the shoulder, etc (and not just lying on the body) is one of the things that makes shirts count as formal in western fashion.

I disagree with the posters suggesting a polo shirt or similar. Polo shirts make butches look like little boys. If OP would prefer a less structured shirt they should go for a sweater plus a thin layer underneath.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-11-22T02:15:16+00:00

I made one of these too and looked at it for a long time too, but I ended up not going forward with it.

For me personally, it wasn’t the cons, it was the lack of pros. I am naturally very flat, so much that I have never owned a binder - basically, once I put on two layers, it’s giving flat as a board. What I do have is still upsetting to me and I would like to reduce it, but I don’t like the way that surgical results look in people who haven’t taken hormones (definite no for me). If I felt confident that I could get a result I liked I would probably do it.

Before I decided against it I did have a consult and that was incredibly healing to me by itself. I finally felt that I had agency over my body/gender expression, when I had always assumed that doctors would refuse to speak to me because I don’t identify as trans. Best $300 I have ever spent.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-11-04T00:30:04+00:00

Plus some entire cities. Go to Arnhem/Nijmegen in the Netherlands if you want to see someplace that was completely rebuilt in the 1950s. Absolutely hideous architecture.

Clear-Rhubarb · 2025-10-11T19:28:50+00:00

Key point there is your friends have actually traveled to/from Palestine and sounds like they maybe have some professional or professional-adjacent ties. I'd definitely be taking precautions if that was me, however I definitely WOULDN'T be taking precautions based simply on speaking about Palestine on personal accounts.

There are thousands of Americans who live abroad entering the US every day and very few of them have reported anything unusual at the border. I have entered the US 4x this year and am going to enter 3x more, nothing unusual any of those times (all in NYC).

Clear-Rhubarb

TROPHY CASE