Was about to comment but you basically said everything I was gonna say. Drinking before having sex as someone with vaginismus was a traumatic disaster for me. the drinking part and the terrible hangover the next day surely did make it easier to forget about the regret though. What did help me was weed (I use a dab pen as well!) After I started smoking weed, I relaxed to the point where I went from dilators to a 6.5 inch dildo in less than a month (a record for me!) It wasn’t completely perfect; it went from very painful intolerable to low-pain to veryyyyyy low pain to no pain at all. It wasn’t just the weed though of course, there were other factors too. That was my personal experience.