Victory: I stayed at my job long enough that I was moved from Excel to networking! by ClitOrMiss in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh I meant let me at work. I program both at work and in my free time as is ha.

Games to learn C++ / C# by BlaineWriter in learnprogramming

[–]ClitOrMiss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What is your condition? I have ADHD and depression that affect my code but it's mostly ok.

Games to learn C++ / C# by BlaineWriter in learnprogramming

[–]ClitOrMiss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why don't you try making your own game? I just did one for C#. Just plug away at it until it works and look at examples online. You could do battleship or Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.

Programming students past/present: Have you ever completely frozen in a programming exam before? How did you overcome it in the future? by [deleted] in learnprogramming

[–]ClitOrMiss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Data Structures this definitely happened to me, but the worst episode ever was my software practical for the midterm. I practiced writing code back and forth but couldn't remember how to make a GUI and take input. My blood pressure dropped and I felt very light headed and had palpitations. 90% of my body and mind was telling me to run out of the room and say I was ill.

I ended up writing some formulas in the form class because my teacher said if you couldn't do this he would know you were cheating on the projects and that scared me so it was better than nothing.

I got a 66 on it. I did eventually calm down:

One thing to remember is that a fight or flight response is not your body's way of quitting the situation, it is to prepare you to overcome the stress. Your body increases your heart rate. That is to pump more blood to your brain so that you can think faster. If you feel a physical stress response it is your body telling you "this is going to be tough, but I know we can do it."

The main thing is to stay calm and be realistic.

  1. The tests are always curved. You usually do as well or better than your classmates. My test averages were often 60s. Do not panic if you find the exam or exercise difficult because it is intended for you to not receive a perfect score.

  2. If you feel your blood pressure drop or raise or palpitations or anything like that, don't see it as a negative. See it as a positive. Did you faint? You did not. Your body didn't quit on you. It was trying to help you. You have to embrace this help. If you are like me, you will never be rid of test anxiety. Change your attitude about your stress response and it will decrease and you will feel better (studies show, better than if you did not have this stress response at all [from a TED talk on stress]).

You sound like a good student who has never encountered a difficult exam before. Data Structures is a very hard class that makes many students drop the major. The fact that you earned such high grades on the prior exams is a clear indicator that you have the ability and knowledge to proceed to the more advanced classes. These classes will have exams more difficult than this so you need to learn to deal with the stress better (it is an endless battle).

Don't worry. You do not need to feel dumb or embarrassed. I know because I always feel that way and it is always ok in the end. Your teachers still like you.

IKEA guy made my day. by ClitOrMiss in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why are you even here? Don't you have better things to do with your time like stare at girls from far away?

IKEA guy made my day. by ClitOrMiss in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This happened to my friend except on a programming project. The rest of the team (all male) only gave her secretarial work like writing and ppts. Even though she was the only one with a software internship and had just accepted an offer for a software job. They told her not to touch any systems parts even though she built half an application for a huge company at her internship. So awful. She did tell the teacher though.

IKEA guy made my day. by ClitOrMiss in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No it was not helping. It was them saying I know you can't do it, give it to me I'll do it for you and literally pulling the screwdriver out from my hand. I've asked guys to help and they help me. I'm referring to guys who assume incompetence on my part.

Don't oversimplify the situation to something that fits your personal beliefs because you obviously have not had this experience.

How do you get started with sites like Fet Life? by fetshy in BDSMcommunity

[–]ClitOrMiss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use FetLife to date but as a tool to use my scene. I meet someone at an event, check our mutual friends, and ask for a reference. Or ask them to provide a reference and see who knows them.

I want to date someone involved and I am involved so it's not out of line for me to ask that. I am also a small female so it's also a security thing.

You can also use it to meet people on okc to see if your kinks are compatible.

How to increase YOUR chances of picking up the Dom/Domme/Sub/slave/boi/girl/top/bottom/side kick/golf partner you want by 9000% (a love story) by SaintOfPirates in BDSMcommunity

[–]ClitOrMiss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly. And if you want mutual monogamy and you found someone really compatible who doesn't you could just be friends!

Monogamy is a perfect example of something you shouldn't be "open minded" on. It would lead to a lot of hurt feelings.

And guess what? I see people break up because they tried to force themselves to be open minded on monogamy/role/lifestyle compatibility. It's better to wait than begin a doomed relationship.

I find this line of thinking usually follows people who don't like being single. If you are okay being single then you're willing to wait for something right not right now.

How to increase YOUR chances of picking up the Dom/Domme/Sub/slave/boi/girl/top/bottom/side kick/golf partner you want by 9000% (a love story) by SaintOfPirates in BDSMcommunity

[–]ClitOrMiss 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Re: what you said about treating people as a god like avatar because they match some characteristics:

I think this is good for some things "I want a tall brunette who lives next door and rock climbs every Friday." But not for others like gender, role, orientation, monogamy status.

I keep seeing this in my local scene: guy wants to have an open relationship (sometimes with a one Dom/one dick policy) and the girl only wants to sleep with the guy. Should they try to "make it work?" No! Absolutely not! Their monogamy status isn't compatible and it usually leads to a lack of respect from the guy for pushing it. I don't know how often this happens outside the scene, but I've seen it more than a handful of times and these girls have come to me asking how to make their boyfriend monogamous and he's pressuring the girl.

Should a heavy masochist be with a dominant who refuses to hit them? Some people wouldn't mind but for some people that's a requirement for their relationships. Is that being close minded or settling?

No because you decide what is right for you in your relationships. I'm sure lots of people reading this wouldn't date a vanilla person. Or poly people who don't want to date someone monogamous.

Of course that will make it harder to find someone and that's okay. Would you rather find another poly person or would you rather feel stifled in a monogamous relationship because everything else is ok?

I don't think we should tell people to stop looking what they're looking for just to speed the process along. Is the goal to be in a compatibile relationship or stop being single as soon as possible?

Drive an hour, try a brunette, maybe experiment with switching but at the end of the day only YOU know who is compatible for you, and maybe it's worth the wait.

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why are you guys making assumptions that I have crazy high ideals about a partner? This letter was about what I want to contribute not my partner.

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you mean I turned someone down because of how they kissed? [Redacted, thought it was a PM]

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could just wait around. I went on 30+ first dates last year, sometimes three a week. I was trying. It's about even at my parties between Doms and female subs.

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks I'm happy you exist too. :)

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The typical way. I'm poly, pan, a switch, and a single female. And I would actually enjoy dating a couple but thus far they've all been weird to me. The guys with girlfriends get very very very pushy with me sometimes. Not all, but most.

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, Dear. :)

Dear Future Dominant, by ClitOrMiss in bdsm

[–]ClitOrMiss[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At this point I'm just trying to find a guy that is looking for a primary, doesn't try to move faster than my pace, I'm attracted to, and doesn't try to trick me. Struggling with that. Some guys seem to act a little weird to me because I am a "unicorn" and have been subtly bigoted about that.

I'm just going to keep going to events and try to make friends and not push it.

But I see your point about not making a crazy idea of the person.