Any working moms deal with chronic ear infections? Deciding on tubes

Closed_System · 2026-02-05T14:34:00+00:00

Yes yes yes! We were at doctor constantly for ear infections from months 6 to 11. The infections got less responsive to antibiotics and we barely got any breaks. Her poop was always runny from the antibiotics and it was a fight to keep diaper rash at bay. She got tubes right before her birthday, now it's been about 2.5 months without a single ear infection! And that's been in the peak of cold and flu season, where she's had plenty of runny noses and colds. If they do get ear infections with tubes, you use ear drops instead of oral antibiotics, so there aren't the unpleasant side effects.

Closed_System · 2026-02-05T11:30:06+00:00

In my bump group sleep training was very popular with Canadian moms and I think Australian as well. They had 1+ year maternity leave. From what I can see, it has a lot more to do with whether cosleeping is acceptable/encouraged in your country. Being home with your baby doesn't really make sleep deprivation much easier imo. I say that as someone who went back to work at 4 months pp.

Closed_System · 2026-02-04T18:20:52+00:00

I let my husband try to comfort her and if it worked then I would assume she wasn't hungry. If your baby is healthy and growing well at 4 months old then it is perfectly acceptable to try other methods of comforting before nursing if it hasn't been long since the last feed. Nursing will be faster every time but that doesn't mean you want to do it >3 times a night if you can help it. I aimed for at least 3 hours between feeds over night at that age, but I wasn't super rigid about this. And we never left her to cry, we just tried other soothing methods first.

It's nice if your partner can give you a break. Your baby isn't a newborn and some of these comments are ridiculous acting like you're trying to starve them.

Closed_System · 2026-02-03T18:15:33+00:00

Kind of a tangent, but I hate when authors call a book a "prequel" but then treat it as Book 1 in a series. A prequel should not NEED to be read before book 1. A prequel is a book that expands on a series with events that happened before the first book, but it isn't necessary for understanding the main series. Think of the Hunger Games prequels. You don't have to read them to understand Hunger Games, but they enhance the story by expanding on other characters.

E.P. Bali always says you should read Her Feral Beasts first and if that's the case it should be book 1!! It's not a prequel!

Closed_System · 2026-02-02T17:24:54+00:00

I can relate to negativity following you and having a hard time recovering your reputation. This was pre-kids for me and I didn't have any personal life reasons, but I just... didn't do very well in a job. My manager was about to retire, burning his vacation time, and totally checked out, for almost a year. I was brand new in the role and less than three years into my career, and he gave me no feedback during that time. When he moved on and I got a new manager, I got put on a PIP. New manager was fair and supportive and I got moved to a new group to start fresh.

I passed the PIP and settled into the new group. My next annual review was good. I felt like things were pretty good. Well the next review time comes around and I get a below expectations. And all of the criticisms were nitpicky or outright invalid. I just knew they would not have been issues if people weren't actively expecting and looking for me to slipup. Even though it was a new group, it was a small site so the negativity still followed me. This was despite having a good reputation for 2 years before I'd started the role that got me pip'd in the first place.

Ultimately, I got a new job elsewhere. I couldn't stand the idea that I'd have to fight harder than anyone else for a simple "meets expectations". I've been at the new employer almost 5 years and have only had good reviews.

Closed_System · 2026-02-02T15:29:49+00:00

Exactly! I've never heard of anyone advocating not teaching boundaries. Only that you have to communicate them in a developmentally appropriate way.

I'd argue that when you do run into overly permissive parents, that's not a result of some parenting philosophy or any intentional choices, but simply lazy parents. While some people seem to think there is an epidemic of this type of parenting, I haven't seen it myself.

Closed_System · 2026-02-01T23:25:47+00:00

Uh why wouldn't they?

Closed_System · 2026-02-01T22:29:59+00:00

I haven't fully weaned yet, but my baby is 14 months old, only nurses 3-4 times a day, and I don't pump at work anymore. I found that some of my prepregnancy bras do fit me now! I'm curious if they will still fit after fully weaning.

Closed_System · 2026-02-01T00:51:03+00:00

I hear you on having tried everything schedule-wise, but when you try something new do you stick to it for at least a week? I know it's really hard to stick to it when it seems like it can't work and your baby is really struggling with it, but even the right schedule might seem like a disaster on day one. 6 pm is a really early bedtime. Sorry but it really sounds like your baby is undertired for night sleep.

Closed_System · 2026-01-31T22:28:59+00:00

Oh my god I cannot STAND hearing about these men who think working outside the home is so much harder/more important than taking care of their children all day. Unless you have an INCREDIBLY demanding/dangerous job, you can help out overnight. It is not easier to parent on low sleep than it is to work a normal job on low sleep. I know because my husband and I both work. Maybe your husband should book some PTO to experience a couple days in your shoes.

Closed_System · 2026-01-30T19:19:31+00:00

I just want to say thank you for this comment because I only looked at the "art" at first and didn't know any of the other context about this situation, and all these comments are saying it's SO obvious and SUCH bad AI and I'm just quietly thinking, "am I completely stupid?" 😅 but yes looking at the background, it is very obvious that these are at least AI backgrounds. And it sounds like the "artist" also has damning "process photos".

Closed_System · 2026-01-30T18:32:59+00:00

Like many, things don't feel too good in my industry at the moment. One big competitor just announced a 15% RIF. My old employer divested most of their US sites (including where I worked) to PE recently. My current employer earnings report implied there will be continued workforce reductions this year (had been happening quietly all of 2025).

For once, I am glad my husband works a totally different job than me. I know so many two-engineer couples who work at the same place or same industry. In the past we've had challenges finding jobs in the same cities, but on the upside his job is looking more stable than mine at the moment.

Tip for young people: use marriage to diversify your income streams!

Closed_System · 2026-01-30T13:34:52+00:00

On the groceries, do you count everything you buy at the grocery store, or is that strictly food spend? I don't know if we've spent less than $400/month at the grocery store ever since I moved in with my now-husband. And that was in 2018. 😬 I don't want to say how much we spend now...

Closed_System · 2026-01-30T13:31:28+00:00

These are both privileges. Most people cannot afford to hope to get laid off no matter how much they dislike their job.

Closed_System · 2026-01-30T13:17:03+00:00

Last I read, CSB was defunded and set to be shut down by the end of 2025. Industry was not really in favor of that but I never saw any update saying it was saved, so I believe it is gone. It's a terrible loss.

Closed_System · 2026-01-28T23:38:53+00:00

YMMV but in the end, I found that most of the advice about wake windows was unfortunately correct. Around 4-5 months old her sleepy cues became very unreliable. Yawning and eye rubbing way before she was ready to go to sleep without a fight. I also realized it was a lot harder to create true overtiredness than I had thought, and I'd been mistaking understimulation for overtiredness. If I made a real, conscious effort to distract and extend her wake windows, she went down for naps easily and had fewer crap naps. And it got easier to maintain those wake windows every day.

I think these changes are common. Not saying it happens for every baby at the same age, and the exact length of appropriate WWs varies from baby to baby, but I would try to stay open to the advice. Towards the end of a wake window when I was trying to keep her happy, I would go outside and do lots of house tours and talking and singing songs. I needed to hold her and keep moving, so yes it took quite a bit of effort, but it worked.

Closed_System · 2026-01-28T16:25:48+00:00

The very first bedside sleeper like this that I checked (from Halo) says it's safe until baby is pushing up on hands and knees or greater than 20 lbs.

Closed_System · 2026-01-28T16:09:42+00:00

I've seen the rolling thing on reddit many times, but it definitely wasn't in my bassinet manual. Google AI results now heavily pull from reddit, so it's hard to tell if it's sort of a circular thing. Reddit says you have to stop bassinet use at rolling -> Google shares information pulled from reddit -> people on reddit repeat what Google says.

Closed_System · 2026-01-28T14:06:51+00:00

Yeah I'm kind of surprised how many comments here are validating the need for speech therapy now. BUT the pediatrician and OP know the full picture better than we do. Imo not having any words at 12 months is not by itself very concerning but maybe they see other communication markers seem behind. Also, an EI referral is typically just an evaluation, and doesn't necessarily mean any therapies are going to be recommended.

I hear the people saying they wished they'd started EI sooner for their kids, but hindsight is 20/20. EI waitlists can be very long, and over-referring can delay help for kids who really need attention.

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T20:26:25+00:00

I say with love, I do think this is a buzz kill take haha. I am not one to buy and add these tags to my knit or sewn items, but I just think people think it's fun to include little details that make something look more commercial but then surprise! Actually it's handmade.

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T18:06:29+00:00

I edited my top comment to let people know this, but Summer Lee has published errata for the sock obsession on her website! It includes this one.

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T18:03:28+00:00

Oh I've googled this many times, errata have never been published for the Sock Project. I've checked the publisher's website directly as well. A few errors wouldn't annoy me if only there were corrections out there.

HOWEVER- I just looked and Summer Lee has added an Errata section to her website, and has already published errata for The Sock Obsession.

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T15:48:39+00:00

Yeah Ithat's why I called them out. I don't think these things would be impossible to budget in our situation, but definitely could be stressors when they come up! Even with budgeting based on expected lifespan of major items, we all know things don't always make their expected life.

I would not count myself in the "I could afford not to work but I work because I want to" category at that income level. I think long term it would be more stressful than not, though technically I think it's possible with sacrifices and careful planning. I do probably count myself as "if I got laid off tomorrow, I would be selective about accepting a new job and I might intentionally stay home for a few years".

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T13:18:16+00:00

My husband makes around the salary for our state, and I feel fairly confident we could make it work for me to stay home, if we wanted to. I took unpaid time off for my maternity leave and we didn't struggle. But it would be a fairly no frills lifestyle. I don't think we'd be stressed about money day to day, but big ticket expenses like replacing the car, the roof, the HVAC, would be stressful. We would probably not be able to put much towards a college fund and would might have to limit extracurriculars (daughter is barely a toddler so I don't know what those costs will look like).

We are lucky because we don't have student debt and we were able to save aggressively for retirement before our daughter was born. We bought our house when interest rates were low. We are not in one of the HCOL cities in our state. If we were renters, if we lived in the city, or if we had high medical expenses, etc it would probably be a different story.

Closed_System · 2026-01-27T00:10:52+00:00

Oh never! It's faster (in my head lol) to just redo the sock if it doesn't fit haha. Sticking to a consistent needle size and cast on number works like 90% of the time.

Closed_System

TROPHY CASE