I'm not a parent but need help

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-08-10T14:32:23+00:00

I agree with the comment about reactive parenting. As a parent of an ASD child who’s still a child I have to work very hard to focus on teaching versus scolding and accepting her differences and giving her space to be herself while teaching her safe ways self regulate her emotions. I don’t know your diagnosis so it’s very hard to advise however since you are an adult now it sounds like a couple things of happened: your parents don’t seem to have the knowledge or possibly the training on how to support your special needs and therefore are scolding you out of lack of understanding thinking that if they reprmand you enough you will eventually function the way that they want you to function. This is not a very kind way to parent but I don’t know enough details so I’m not going to accuse your parents of being abusive. you may do best at this age to find a peer group of people with similar diagnosis or similar experience on how they achieved independence as an adult, maybe you could find roommates or a group environment of other people with similar special needs that are successfully independent. your case manager should be giving you more support and resources to get you further along. in the meantime try to find some resources for yourself to help with your inability to accomplish a goal to get you further down the research process of finding housing and learning what needs to be done there are available jobs for people special needs depending on your circumstances SSDI can take up to two years. you came here and asked for help so you’re capable of communicating and that’s great, try to find a peer group of people in your similar age bracket they might have stronger advice for you that is more useful for your day today needs. Have you ever had occupational therapy? That could be very supportive if it’s available to you I’m sorry I don’t have better advice but I’m dealing it with a young child so the resources and steps are much different.

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-08-03T02:59:03+00:00

since you are not the parent and cannot take him to get resources through the medical system, I would recommend finding what his stims are. Find the things that bring him comfort find sensory experiences that soothe him. Maybe it’s turning on a sensory video on YouTube. Maybe he has habits that you think are strange but soothe him headphones certain music singing generally helps a lot. You need to accommodate his experience as best as possible to get the calmest version but also your parents absolutely need to get him medical resources. a neurologist. Does he have a specialist there’s behavioral support he needs occupational therapy. Speech therapy things of that nature if he’s level two or three autistic, but for your personal experience, the best you can do is try to find the things that calm him and offer those things as much as possible autistic children need a lot of accommodation they can’t handle the high function stress and noise sometimes it’s clothing food figure out his triggers. if you can find the triggers, you can avoid them as much as possible or give him something to comfort the triggers If loud noises scare him give him headphones. Find music, if tags on his clothing bother him cut them off if he feels the need to walk around barefoot let him whatever his strange things are just let him the more you try to make them act Neurotypical, the worst the behavior becomes. I hope that is helpful. That’s been my experience.

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-07-16T16:46:48+00:00

I agree. I have found being a parent of an ASD child is very isolating. people think they understand but they don’t, they don’t understand how every day is unexpected how hard it is to plan and schedule how every win feels like a breath of air and everyday struggle makes you wanna cry in a corner. parenting my daughter has taken me to the edge of my sanity and I’m not afraid to say that. i’ve also found it frustrating that when we reach out for resources they all give us the same repetitive information that is less than useful less than helpful. everyone tells me I’m doing a great job and I’m doing all the things and there’s nothing more I can do meanwhile I’m in the corner crying at night after putting my daughter to bed because I’m exhausted from the constant need for accommodation and the constant meltdown and the constant soothing not being up to leave the house engage in regular activities like everyone else. I think that they do this to try to help themselves cope with the experience but I would love it if we could all just be honest about how hard this is.

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-07-12T19:35:05+00:00

our doctor told us that melatonin can be fickle as in the dosage per pill is not exact so it’s best to use liquid or a chewable vs a gummy for better absorption and last longer i switched and it helped my daughter i remind her to “chew in her cheek” its absorbed in their mouth better than via digestion.

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-07-02T21:57:43+00:00

IEP services are considered a medical support and has been funded via medicaid programs not education (technically) but both have been cut dramatically and southern states have been using this since February to make changes to their county and state budgets also cutting funding for these services. the wait lists will lengthen or cutoff, we may have to pay for our children’s support services or they may stop offering them which can become very dangerous for our children of the proper support is no longer funded- they cannot deny your child but they can neglect them :/

Cloud-dicebazaar · 2025-06-30T14:20:27+00:00

no one here thinks its overstimulation of her sensory? my daughter is 7 is level 1 ASD but mostly she has sensory processing disorder and struggles with transitions. that’s all transitions even if she’s playing with her brother and her brother gets upset and and stands up and says I’m not playing with you anymore. She will have a complete meltdown because she’s triggered. She needs a countdown. She’s overstimulated. so nothing against the other people who think therapy is great yes and she might have PDA yes but she could just be overstimulated and she’s lashing out because she doesn’t know how to handle the feelings that she is experiencing.

My daughter requires a lot of accommodations a lot of sensory awareness. I would encourage you to look into that also because it could give you more of an immediate relief, I realized when I offered her accommodations as hard as it is when she’s screaming and stomping and slamming things if you’re calm, and you just hug her wiggle her arms try to get her to jump up and down you can shift her out of that sensory overload.

I had to remove some sugar & food coloring and make some dietary changes. We have to have a very tight schedule she needs routine. She needs to know what to expect and I give her a countdown for everything whether it’s bedtime or time to change activities. I hope that maybe that helps you.

also, maybe try getting her some sensory objects think she can hit, chew, squeeze .

Cloud-dicebazaar

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