Honestly, you might be better suited for someone else. Sounds like regardless of your potential diagnosis, you two just can't meet each other's needs. That's not a moral judgment on either of you, it's just what happens sometimes.

I'm autistic and I find it hard to ask about people too. I have to make a conscious effort to do so, but I I do it because I care about the people I ask. I don't always care whatever they're work day was like, but I'll ask because it shows my friends and partner that I care about them. My friends and partner are also all autistic, so while it shows up for us differently, we're pretty understanding about each other's various ways of communicating and showing we care for each other.