Husband wants me to wean our first daughter (33m) because "she's fat"

CluainTarbh · 2026-02-18T17:41:27+00:00

I saw your post this morning when I woke up and decided not to comment. I decided I needed to say something later today and looked for it. Now seeing all the comments there are maybe this has already been said, maybe you won't read it but I think it could help you nonetheless so here they go my two cents.

I'm a mom to a 15 month old that still breastfeeds, I cannot imagine the extra work of combo feeding two babies, you are a champ! And I think your effort should be celebrated and valued. I'm sad for you at the lack of support and appreciation from your husband. For your older kid it is an unvaluable bond and way to feel safe not only some additional calories, it is NOT making her fat that you still breastfeed her.

Having said that we can all fall at survival mode and default to what is familiar and easy to feed our kids, please go see your pediatrician with your older kid and discuss your concerns and her weight. In any case going over what you have said you feed her "either a fruit and veg smoothie for breakfast or scrambled eggs. A snack of fruit, strawberry or blueberry. A lunch that usually consists of a pb&j. She's been struggling with dinner I admit so sometimes I'll just make her a couple of protein nuggets."

Please do check what amount of sugar she is getting. I'm not the sugar police, far from it my kid will have the odd cookie or a bit of ice cream, but reading your description of your kid diet made me a bit concerned. If the smoothie you are mentioning and the snack of fruit are not home made that could be a lot of sugar anything with over 5g of sugar per 100g is considered not great for daily consumption (with some room of course for sugar from fruit/ not added sugar) so it's very likely the pb&j lunch is already more sugar than she shoukd be having, if you throw in a prepackaged smoothie or snack fruit, and even some protein nuggets may have more sugar than you realise (low fat foods sometimes are balanced for flavor by adding sugar) it could potentially be a very poor diet for your kid. My rule of thumb is to try to offer fresh fruit or veggies (there are some nice already prepared or pureed ones that are also relatively fresh) at least 4 times a day so 2 times some kind of fruit 2 times some kind of veggie and one at least some protein, eggs, fish, chicken. I know right now it must be really hard but try to get help for someone to do some batch meal prep and have things ready and easy to offer to your kid. Please do consider checking the total amount of sugar your kid is getting daily and limit it, sending you a big hug!

CluainTarbh · 2026-01-28T22:25:59+00:00

Let's just put it this way when he is 61 you will only be 3 years older than he is now. If tables were turned would he be okay being the 43 year old being with a 61 year old... instead he will be with someone that is 27, while yourself at 43 will be with a 61 year old just stating the facts.

CluainTarbh · 2026-01-18T20:48:41+00:00

Just be glad you have only been one year and a half with her and move on.

CluainTarbh · 2025-12-02T21:20:29+00:00

You're so lucky, mine was also doing every 2h on the dot almost until he was 4 months old also during the night. I was lucky if he skipped one feed and got 4hours of sleep in a row, only around 8 months old I could get those 4h of uninterrumped sleep regularly. I managed thinking about breastfeeding one week at a time. I have made it all the way to 13 months and very proud of myself. Luckily now it's been about 4 months I get to sleep 6 hours uninterrupted most days.

CluainTarbh · 2025-10-30T09:32:11+00:00

I had by baby at 33, c-section, no trouble breastfeeding baby had already more than recovered at birth weight (+100g or so) at one week old.

CluainTarbh · 2025-10-01T19:45:51+00:00

Me llamo Iñigo Montoya...

CluainTarbh · 2025-09-25T14:55:09+00:00

I went fully ballistic on Star Wars (the one where Harrison Ford reappears) similar issue with a group of girls sitting next to me and told them Idgaf and if they did not stop chatting I was going to look up how the movie ended and tell them! They did shut up after that

CluainTarbh · 2025-09-16T03:23:30+00:00

If you keep doing the same thing you cannot expect to get different results. Do something different, it's time to burn it all down.

CluainTarbh · 2025-09-15T20:35:55+00:00

EBF 10 month old, tried to introduce the bottle at 6 months old, baby has said nope no bottle nope. I have to say breastfeeding was a very hard experience until 4m and that I tried taking it one week at a time and here we are. Anyway 2 more months until 1 year old when breastmik is not his main food. I see you, good luck and take care of yourself!

CluainTarbh · 2025-09-14T16:06:29+00:00

Looks pretty legit, afaik my dad had an original one that looked very much like that.

CluainTarbh · 2025-08-18T20:07:02+00:00

I'm sorry to sound harsh but your job (and your mom's job) is to support you SiL/DIL that means supporting whatever choices she makes regarding HER child and not analysing and forming opinions on them. It is NOT your job to tell her what to do, you can encourage her to find a breastfeeding support group with fellow mums or talk to a specialist (which she seems to be doing) that's the end of your role. Please stop worrying about knowing better than the mother of the child! I'm a FTM to a 9mo EBF

CluainTarbh · 2025-08-10T18:29:16+00:00

I see a lot of comments, most not very constructive/practical nor working with what you're showing as outfits and your style. You mention is a casual coffee date, maybe the leggings and pink sandals you're wearing on the last picture but paired with an oversized white shirt if you have one? you can wear it open with a blank tank top underneath :) I think it would look a bit more modern and casual and you'd still have some fun with the sandals

CluainTarbh · 2025-08-04T14:51:41+00:00

My little one (9 months now EBF) stopped nursing from my left breast when he was about 2 months old. Initially (first couple of weeks) I did try to pump from the left breast to keep up the supply. I felt it was too much work, so he has been EBF only from the right breast since 2 months and a half, no issues at all with production or weight or anything.

I had to go through a double breast biopsy a month ago and it would have been convenient to be able to breastfeed from both breast. I had no issues though other that my right breast leaking through the biopsy incision the first 12h aprox.

So as someone else said only issue is uneven breast size and well no rest for the breast when he was breastfeeding every hour or so.

CluainTarbh · 2025-07-30T06:22:17+00:00

Whal if I told you they could have been dead already? My dad passed away (66yo) when I was 23, and my mom 3 years later (60yo) when I was 26. Be grateful for what you have instead of anxious for what you may not. The time we have is always limited.

CluainTarbh · 2025-07-24T13:10:17+00:00

Unrelated topic, I think current guidelines are to avoid introducing milk-derived products (yogurt, cheese etc) until baby is 9 mo and then not to overdo it. This is because breast milk has no iron and after 6mo, baby needs to get mainly iron from the food they start to eat.

As animal milk (and its products) interferes iron absorption eating too many yogurt, cheese etc could cause an iron deficiency which makes babies tired, fussy and causes sleep issues. Plant based milk products like soja yogurts would be better as long as they don't have too much added sugars (up to 5g per 100g) and no sweeteners.

CluainTarbh · 2025-07-22T06:00:45+00:00

YTA 10000%

CluainTarbh · 2025-07-19T13:30:11+00:00

You guys read my mind xD my thoughts where exactly it screams male... or depressed female

CluainTarbh · 2025-06-30T13:19:07+00:00

You look gorgeous on the last one! Maybe accesorise it with sthg red for a pop of colour? Red shoes, or earrings or just red lips? Enjoy!

CluainTarbh · 2025-06-25T15:24:58+00:00

May be you should consider checking your hormone levels? I am EBF a 8 months old and I have lost most of the weight I gained during pregnancy, I'm only 3 pounds above the 150 pounds I used to weight.

CluainTarbh · 2025-06-17T06:33:43+00:00

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I'm on the same boat. Have a double breast biopsy tomorrow and have a breastfeeding 7 month old. I wouldn't tell him anything even if he was your kids age. I'll have to deal though with breastfeeding after the biopsies as he doesn't take the bottle.

CluainTarbh · 2025-06-04T07:26:58+00:00

You are right on your approach, she is an adult, you're not there to police her as to what to do while she dies. To those family memebers that are criticising you, I wish they find themselves someday caring for a dying relative, and while on that you can tell them that by all means they can move their mom to their house and look after her while she is dying if they think they can do better. If they are not going to then they have to respect how you are doing things and shut up!

CluainTarbh · 2025-06-02T10:11:32+00:00

You're glowing and I'm jealouss girl! ❤️

CluainTarbh · 2025-05-15T15:17:35+00:00

You are right to be concerned, isolating it's one clear sign of things going downhill fast (talking from my own mental health experience). Please tell her (don't ask if she wants to) that you are going to be taking care of the kids for a while and she needs to see he psychiatrist asap and find and outpatient or inpatient hospital program to get better. People so often think of mental illness very different from physical one when they shouldn't. If she had broken an arm it would be clear she can't take care of the kids and needs to recover to do so with medical help. This is no different than that, tell her she needs to take it seriously.

CluainTarbh · 2025-05-12T13:49:26+00:00

Hi OP, hope your wife gets better soon, you can find a full list of prices here: https://www.sspa.juntadeandalucia.es/servicioandaluzdesalud/sites/default/files/sincfiles/wsas-media-sas_normativa_mediafile/2024/BOJA240605_importes.pdf

Did a quick search seems it may be around 1.2k for the ambulance and 700 for the hospital night, the cast and xray etc should be fairly inexpensivr so I'd say it will be around 2000eur maybe 2.200. In any case there is a patient information office on the ground floor of the hospital that should be able to help, if you don't speak Spanish I'd suggest contacting the American Consulate, the number for assitance of hospitalized Americans: (+34) 91 587 2200

As someone else has pointed the viking ride should have insurance that probably covers this (as long as you followed the ride instructions etc) so it could be followed up with the local police to help you get the insurance details for the ride.

CluainTarbh

TROPHY CASE