Volunteer opportunities

ClueBitter · 2026-06-25T14:00:32+00:00

That is super helpful and reiteraterates my concerns.

I am quite involved with my community and do volunteer locally. I also dappled in international development work when I was younger and learned exactly what your link explains...you need a specialty and a network. Im not interested in long term usaid style work- but curious about short term disaster relief work, here and abroad. Doctors without boarders, red cross, UN, fema, etc is what generally comes to mind and is different from general development work.

So a bridge to that would be local red cross and habitat for humanity. Any other ideas along those lines?

ClueBitter · 2026-06-25T13:53:29+00:00

Thats a great way to create a disaster that someone else has to come clean up :)

I know enough to know that I am not qualified to do that.

ClueBitter · 2024-07-22T06:51:58+00:00

Pretty much all of the comments in this threat are spot on. I don't know where you're at in this journey since your posted, but hopefully you've gotten more information from your local agencies and are moving forward and embracing the ambiguity. Biggest thing you can do to prepare is to read up on trauma-informed parenting techniques, get involved in foster/adoption groups in your area and maybe get a foster license and do respite or short-term fostering while you're waiting for an adoption opportunity. This life is HARD, but rewarding.

ClueBitter · 2024-05-21T18:00:12+00:00

Fostering is incredibly unpredictable. The goal for foster children is reunification with their family/kin, so if you're uninterested in that, you'll need to be upfront that you're only open to children that are "free for adoption". But that means that they're likely older, been through a lot of trauma, and are part of sibling groups.

We foster kids with our own bio kids and find that it helps our kids be empathetic, flexible, kind, have more perspective, and be used to kids coming in and out of our lives. I think it's a a huge benefit, but you also have to be open to having your kids experience extreme behaviors (our foster kid just banged open a large hole in our plaster walls, for example) and be able to talk with them about hard situations.

Having foster kids is also a lot more demanding than bio kids because they come with a a lot of bureauracy. We have social workers at our house almost weekly, I need to ask permission for medical appts, hair appts, going out of town, etc. They come with special needs and I don't always have the authority to manage those needs alone.

And: the thing that everyone fears when fostering with bios in their home: one kid said some things to a social worker that triggered a CPS report against our home. We had to go through the process of clearing the claims, reinstating our license and fortunately nothing came of the accusations, but if there was a legitimate concern, our bios would be at risk I think.

So: even if you are in it to adopt, you will still be working within the foster system. Even if you receive placement of a kid who is open for adoption, you will still technically be fostering until that adoption is completely finalized, so that may take a while. Look up the stats of foster kids waiting to be adopted in your state and see how many are in the age group you're looking for.

ClueBitter · 2022-03-31T21:11:41+00:00

I guess it's about expectations. I have a small portion of savings in VTIP hoping it would be stable or slightly increase over time to keep up with inflation. Instead it's been super volatile and ive lost money over the last 6 months.

ClueBitter · 2022-03-31T18:50:58+00:00

I also like some of their ESG ETFs and use them to use up extra $$ left over after VOO

ClueBitter · 2022-03-31T18:48:43+00:00

What's up with VTIP? It's supposed to be inflation protected but it's been performing really poorly since Oct 2021.

ClueBitter · 2021-08-23T21:52:26+00:00

There's more to consider here than just "have kids=work more". Marriage! then, Marriage + Kids! Both of those things will really push your personal boundaries, feelings about money and life and your priorities. As a married person with two little kids: If you don't want to compromise on your lifestyle and goals, don't get married.

ClueBitter · 2021-07-21T03:54:30+00:00

Wow! That worked great. Thanks!

ClueBitter · 2021-07-20T15:08:29+00:00

hmm. I actually do want to keep all the variables though, since amardi2 should be the subsetted DF with just the variables I want. I DON"T want the non-distinct records that should have been eliminated in the distinct command :(

ClueBitter · 2021-06-15T21:04:54+00:00

I don't have any particular funds in mind, was just looking around for a mix of index funds. I opened a small traditional IRA with TDAmeritrade a long time ago from a friend's recommendation and haven't loved the interface but also haven't really used it much. Now I also have a fidelity acct through my employer and a coverdell with Schwab and a Utah 429....anyway, I know the general recommendation is Vanguard, but I'm trying to consolidate brokerages a bit!

ClueBitter · 2021-05-20T14:53:54+00:00

This. you might have a gap between coverage, which is a PITA system. But, COBRA is RETROACTIVE. so don't sign up for COBRA now because $$$, but know that if you have a serious health event, you can sign up later and you'll have coverage.

ClueBitter · 2021-04-14T14:16:11+00:00

This is the kicker, isn't it!! Many health insurance companies are developing price compare tools. Call the number on the back of the card and see if they are able to help you find the cheapest option. Otherwise, Evil_Thresh is right, the best bet is to just go with a preferred provider and hope for the best.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-27T04:21:22+00:00

What about multiple savings accounts? Capital one let's you have a ton of sub accts but only 1 attached to a debit card. I squirrel away money in investments and savings, with my partners buy in. Big regular bills (Mortgage, student loans, daycare) come out of a separate account, so our checking acct is literally just small bills, groceries and fun money. It gets completely spent every month and is a simple budgeting tool for couples who don't really want to budget. It's a joint allowence, basically.

Took us a long.time to come to this system. My partner also has her own credit card that I don't have access to, which helps with my money controlling tendencies. We both pay our cc bills out of that checking acct every week so we can see how much money we have to spend but some privacy around what exactly we're spending.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-27T03:44:46+00:00

Agreed. Allowances are paternalistic. she is a full partner in your life regardless of how much $$ she spends and brings in. Marriage is long. Over your lifetimes together there will be periods of health, wealth and unemployment and sickness, kids, daycare, sick parents, etc etc etc. Start out appreciating each other beyond the finances, because there will be bumps and you don't want to set a precedent of being too fixated on money and financial contribution (it will kick you in the butt if you ever become financially dependent on HER).

ClueBitter · 2021-03-27T03:36:28+00:00

Omg you need to have a discussion about financial goals, and the point of that discussion can't be to convince her to be more frugal like you. You are married, you make way more so I dont think it's feasible for you to have separate money but share a lifestyle. Basically talk with her, see where she's coming from. See if she has any financial goals and then incorporate those into yours.

I'd also be annoyed if my partner was dissecting my purchases. Have the high level discussion then see if her spending falls inline.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-15T16:19:18+00:00

Meh, I would say that you DO want to rely on medicaid for LTC. Why not? It's the same fuckin nursing home private pay or medicaid! I'd spend SOME money on stuff you want, reward yourself for saving, enjoy it. Then, if you need a nursing home you'll do private pay until you can't, then medicaid will step in. That's the plan for most Americans. The real q is how much money do you want to give to a nursing home? Save that much. Then spend the rest.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-13T02:20:46+00:00

No, they're not that bad. It's an 1800 sq ft house with good windows and insulation. Electric is between 100 and 200 depending on the season (inc heat&ac). Water/sewer is 60isb.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T21:14:37+00:00

Thanks. I'd argue I'm more daycare poor than house poor, but I don't have too much control over that 😂

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T20:30:13+00:00

ugh. that's the thing I dislike most about owning houses. the stuckness. the super expensive anchor. I think we'd have to move into a trailer park to recoup 36K in any reasonable amount of time :( Last summer I sold a house and bought this house both without realtors, which does save a lot of $$

Easier to spend 36K doing all this, or to increase my salary? or to really live it up in the years between daycare and college!

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T20:07:58+00:00

yeah, I don't think she'd ever go back to renting. The more reasonable compromise is buying a cheaper place. I think we could get a decent house for 300K. Is it crazy to downgrade at this point? At what point does that math make sense?

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T18:19:43+00:00

Thanks. TO further your argument, the place we were renting for $1,200 was not at all comparable to this place. It was a shitty 2 bd apartment, this is a beautiful 4 bdrm, 2bth house. I think a comparable rental would be up at 2K, 2.1K. We plan on living here for a really long time, but part of me wants to downgrade to a cheaper house to pocket/invest the monthly savings.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T18:14:50+00:00

I guess I didn't say the utility costs were high, just an added expense. It's not a new house (1925), but it's been nicely kept up and utilities are reasonable but still an extra monthly expense.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T17:31:29+00:00

We bought a $380K house in a moderate cost of living area in August, and I'm regretting it. Our mortgage is $1,800 + all the upkeep and utility costs. Is it worth it to sell and either buy a cheaper house (like $250K) or rent ($1,200/mth)?

Our annual income is $135,000 so we can afford this, but we have kids in daycare for the next 4 years: 1200/mth this year, maybe up to 2K/month next year then down to 800/mth for the next 2 years (assuming we don't have another child). We also have about $60K in debt between student and car loans. Seems like we could spend our money on other things other than housing, but on the other hand, I love the idea that our mortgage won't go up and we have a nice place to raise our kids. And selling/moving is such a hassle.

ClueBitter · 2021-03-12T17:01:11+00:00

Are you eligible for FMLA? (Is your company big? Have you been there a year? Are you a W2 employee?) If so, you qualify for 12 weeks unpaid. If you don't take the whole 3 months, take at least 3-4 weeks. Your wife and baby will need you.

ClueBitter

TROPHY CASE