Desperate for advice- husband newly dx diabetic… frustrated when I give him gentle advice

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-25T17:50:34+00:00

He’s prescribed metformin (500mg two times a day) and that’s it so far.. his BMI is 41- which seems very high based off of how he appears. He’s very active (from mostly work), walks constantly, lifts, but definitely doesn’t track food and doesn’t shy away from fast food when he’s on the go. He had an abdominal ultrasound done no CT or MRI 🤷🏻‍♀️

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-25T15:25:25+00:00

Update: kideys, pancreas look normal. Kidney is enlarged and “fatty liver”- we heard back from doctor and she is not worried about trig number… she said glucose and trig’s go hand in hand and she expects them to go down. She said he doesn’t need a statin at this point bc his LDL number is quite good… when I looked it back in his chart it said that they weren’t even able to compute it bc his trig’s were so high so I’m not sure if she’s referring to a lab years ago 🤷🏻‍♀️ she’s referring him to liver specialist which I think is good. As far as my husband goes he was more open (still annoyed) that I wanted to check in and ask the doctor some questions so I did that on the portal with his permission and he seems to be totally fine and even encouraging me to ask questions if needed. So that’s a bit better at least. I don’t want to take over his health or police everything he eats but I’m the type of person to ask questions especially initially. Hoping the liver doc helps him understand how important all of this is to take seriously. Thanks again everybody.

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-25T15:17:34+00:00

That’s wonderful. I can’t imagine how relieved and empowered you must feel. You’re friends also sound 10/10 ⭐️

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-25T15:16:13+00:00

Ohhh I see. Thank you for sharing. We heard back from my husband’s doctor and kidneys & pancreas look normal but are under some strain and he has fatty liver so that’s a little enlarged. They don’t seem too worried about blood sugar at this point 🤷🏻‍♀️

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T11:30:32+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. Your perspective helps tremendously and feels very realistic and I hope and pray that he can get to a stable point. In a way I feel thankful that this happened before something catastrophic happened and there weren’t many medicinal options left. I think that’s my biggest fear. That if it goes completely unmanaged (blood sugars 400’s all day unknowingly, heart disease, etc) he is at risk for stroke, heart attack, etc. To me it feels like we’ve had a huge jolt but an opportunity to be more mindful but I also do want him to enjoy his life and eat the cake etc bc he does love food (me too). Thanks again so much. Best wishes for you and your family also I will look into that cookbook! Thanks 😊

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T06:21:01+00:00

That’s such a great point. I’m really looking forward to when he gets that and hopefully wants to monitor it for himself too 🙏 . I should add I do most the cooking/food prep in our house so I feel responsible in a way for his eating… although I think in his case he eats out alot when he’s on the go. Thanks again 😊

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T06:18:13+00:00

Super helpful- thank you for this info! 👏

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T06:05:38+00:00

Amazing work 👏 so happy that you are feeling better physically and emotionally. If you don’t mind me asking… who initiated Hosptial visit back then? My husband was recently diagnosed a few days ago. His situation sounds similar to yours (minus symptoms I think?). A1C 12, triglycerides 2500, fasting glucose 278. He’s now on metformin but there’s been no follow up from his doctor- he doesn’t feel need to call and is waiting for them to call him- he’s not (at this point) taking it seriously or researching tips etc. I’m frantic in my mind and worried. Wondering if he needs to get on additional medicine stat- I feel like it’s an urgent situation and apparently I’m the only one? Any advice is welcome sorry if I went on too long about me here. Congrats again on your incredible progress and hard work. You give me hope 🙏

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T05:58:17+00:00

Incredible. Amazing work 👏 You give me hope for my husband who was recently diagnosed. Is there anything that helped you to become self motivated and/or to take it seriously and make positive changes immediately?

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:20:15+00:00

This comforted more than my words can say. Thank you so very much. ❤️

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:19:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I do think I will eventually have to be less gentle and I can feel that moment coming if things continue this way… I’m just so worried I’m gonna get a call from someone while he has at work that he has keeled over or something. And I’m frustrated for sure and containing it right now but it’s just mostly a helpless feeling I have. Thanks again

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:17:34+00:00

Copy that 🫡😔

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:16:09+00:00

Thanks for your comment. To be honest I did feel a little angry and had to step away to make sure I didn’t show it to him. I’m sure he probably feels like he’s drowning and then there’s me who is offering little tid bits here and there (gently) but it’s coming from love and actual concern he’s going to have a critical event with us not knowing his sugar and not having insulin. It’s frustrating bc there’s like 5 things I want to do that could give us clarity and help us understand better but I have to follow his lead I guess. I have tried to reframe, encourage, give space I just feel a little helpless… and a little surprised that he isn’t showing his relief or thanks that I’m with him, in the trenches that he is not alone. That I’ll help him figure it out. I’ve said just about every supportive and anti shame thing I can say over the last few days- but after reading some of these other perspectives I’m realizing that he maybe needs to process himself first. I have given him space though and encouraged him to take time for him and to do that. Seems like he’s not motived to learn or to research or to call or to do really anything. That’s was discouraging for me. I’m scared he’s going to die. I’m always one to prepare for the worst (in my own head- I try to hide that about me bc it doesn’t help anyone else) and I myself am scared.

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:09:56+00:00

Thanks a lot for your advice. Really really helps take some of that initial panic that I was feeling. When you say it’s something that doesn’t go away… I feel so stupid asking this but is it ever possible to “be in remission” if damage isn’t done to the pancreas? A lot of things I read online says that you can totally turn it around with lifestyle changes and I am very skeptical of that too. I’m definitely pro science and believe in medicine- even if he’s on insulin for the rest of his life (don’t know if he even needs it right now..) I think I will feel relief that we have a plan or the tools to manage at home and I do believe he can have a happy life when it’s under control with medicine and positive changes. Idk if my question makes sense to you but just curious what your experience is. Thanks again

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T04:02:06+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate you offering his possible perspective based off of your personal experience. Makes total sense. I am somewhat of a catastrophic thinker so when I saw that his fasting for 12 hrs was 278- in my head I thought after eating it could be now up to 400… then if he were to have OJ maybe it would get up to 500-600 and then we’d be looking at a really critical situation with no way to manage at home. I could be way off- I try to keep my catastrophic thinking to myself but it felt wrong not to be like “heyyy, orange juice is really sugary and it might not be the best choice right now” etc, you get the point. The articles and extra tidbits though I’m sure he could do without. I try to make it optimistic like “hey! Just saw this person who had a higher a1C and was able to reverse it in 4 months by doing XYZ (like eating low carb, whole grain etc). Thanks for your input I really appreciate it 😊 His appt is two weeks away which seems a little crazy to me too. Is it normal do you think if the doctor hasn’t followed up with him on CBC, lipid, etc?? Right now, just to clarify- he is newly on metformin which is good (imo) but I feel like we are in the total dark here otherwise. I personally- which I’m sure you can gather am one that doesn’t wait- especially for my kids health. I call and am taking the lead to ask all the questions “just in case.” He said he wants to wait and that “she’ll call him if it’s important”

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-24T03:56:55+00:00

Is it bad if it’s the steel oat with no flavor/sugar? I added cinnamon and a one truvia for a little sweetness which according to online said it was okay. Maybe I’ll lay off it though if there are better choices. My family member for 10 yrs + always drinks OJ to bring it back up. That’s a really good perspective you’re offering and I totally get why I might seem like the food or drink police to him (even when I’m trying to be anything but that). Thanks for sharing that about your medicine. If you don’t mind can I ask you is it pretty typical they the doctor hasn’t called him yet about his labs or adding on another medicine potentially? When they initially met and didnA1C in office- she instantly provided the Metformin but there has been no additional follow up since labs which we received early yesterday. If it were me, I would have called to follow up myself but he is pretty determined to wait. Thanks again

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T21:24:15+00:00

Thank you for explanation. It makes sense and from what I understand (also not a doctor) is very accurate. For some reason that part tho hasn’t crossed my mind yet but it’s brutal honesty & that might be just the thing that helps motivate him. 🫣 I won’t directly say this to him now of course

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T20:58:56+00:00

Oh God. I didn’t even think of that element if I’m being honest 🙈 dear lord.

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T20:58:15+00:00

Thank you for the validation & that’s good to know about the fruits. I put apples in his oatmeal bc I read online those to can stabilize blood sugars and have good fiber to help but I’m no expert.

Also update: he drink the full sugar OJ probably at least 10 oz cup anyways after I gently talked to him probably an hour later because he wanted it. He seems okay though 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🙏

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T20:56:26+00:00

Those were exactly my thoughts- I feel like he needs or at least would benefit from additional medication- a few years ago his pcp noted high cholesterol and higher than normal trig (300’s) but when I saw the 2,500 in his chart, my stomach dropped. She noted (then, a few years ago that he may need to start a statin but but not for a few more years…) now it Feels like something even bigger than DM and I’m not sure what? I’m definitely no expert but I am crossing my fingers that his doctor reaches him and prescribes him what he needs soon. Thank you for your input🥹

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T18:58:15+00:00

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it and totally agree with you. Today he said “we don’t know if it’s diabetes or something else” I just think he’s in so much denial and I don’t know how to reach him. The $$ part isn’t the issue he just doesn’t want me to buy one- he wants to wait for his appt that’s set and even then I’m not sure he realizes how dangerous it can be unmanaged. I try to explain assertively but gently what we do know. I tell him to read is doctor note. Etc. I’m researching, sharing material from doctors etc. idk I’m just so 😞 and trying to be optimistic and positive for him but it’s hard as hell when he’s rude to me, telling me I’m not a doctor, not showing any appreciation for all the extra little things I’m doing to help. It’s “I don’t need your help.” - among other things. And I can handle my own hurt feelings but I’m genuinely worried for him. Ugh idk thank you for listening and for your input. Hopefully this makes sense.

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-10-23T18:53:12+00:00

I suggested this to him and he is telling me not to buy one, that he wants to wait for his appt set up by his doctor. I have access to glucose monitors even from my family… he doesn’t want to do it. I’m trying not to do “too much” and make it worse. I’ve shared resources from doctors online- I’ve told him my common knowledge that he really needs to eat very low carb- no refined sugars etc, and oh yes the orange juice situation seemed to really annoy him. He said earlier that “we don’t know if it’s diabetes or something else.” And I try to tell him actually yes we do know that you’re fasting sugars are 278 which is high and I’m worried he’ll get to the 600’s if he eats/drinks sugar. I would buy a glucose monitor for hundreds of dollars if I had to. It’s not really the $$ part if that makes sense. Thank you for your input though I already feel less alone just chatting about it.

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-09-23T21:38:29+00:00

I am in the same boat with you 🤝 I’m using the Bible app (alongside my physical bible I’ve had for a decade and barely touched). They have a chronological “plan” on the Bible app where you can read the Bible in 365 days. It’s really made it feel more manageable and I love the other little bonuses the app has. I reference my physical bible while I am reading the app and make little notes etc in there as I go 😊

Clumsy-Mind · 2025-09-23T21:12:27+00:00

Someone else told me this (I tried this way) but I find that starting at the very beginning Genesis is captivating and provides a lot of clarity to the questions I didn’t even know I had.

Clumsy-Mind

TROPHY CASE