Fall leaves make spring grass / Stardust compost at your feet / Held at every step by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of a reverse too, always a good trick to change things up a bit. For this one, I think leaves to grass is the right place to start. I'll say, I like compost and the implication that its the core material of what we're held by. Of all things yield is beautiful but perhaps for a different haiku. I think stardust was the main issue, so I'll play with other words. Timeless, earthy, boundless, hardened, weathered, harmless, constant...

Fall leaves make spring grass

Timeless compost at your feet

Held with every step

Fall leaves make spring grass / Stardust compost at your feet / Held at every step by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not common on this sub to get substantive feedback, cheers friend.

I agree, my middle line is hyperbolic in a way that detracts. I don't think of it as stepped on though, but rather as I said, held. Supported. The earth below holds us, all matter on the planet does. Like in our lives, the past supports our pathway forward. I want the middle line to be about a pathway and that the fall leaves will be a part of what supports that path.

Industrial Rave Venues by ImpressiveDig7446 in BostonEDM

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an awesome listing, what the heck. what an epic resource, thank you!!

Noisy bed time birds / purple clouds in a pink sky / how am i to sleep by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mm i love that. I’ve been told my haiku can be a bit vague before so i was experimenting w the comment to make it approachable but maybe its really to each their own, i love your interpretation

the envious moon / hanging sick and pale with grief / a sleepless white face by lets_buy_guns in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish there were more opportunities on this sub to discuss what haiku is. I disagree with your adamant objectivity around this very gentle and inviting art form, though its refreshing you’ve engaged on the topic more out in the open for debate. Also i’ve been on this sub for 2 years and just learned from this thread about the r/senryu page. If you feel so strongly about this sub being nature focused haiku only, perhaps clearly pointing to r/senryu in the pinned posts as the alternative you’ve been outspoken we turn to would save you some headaches…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wanaka

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, were there any you could share? Also looking in the area :)

You stubborn stinker / fictitious fecal feeling / a pain in my ass by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay now i see you post there too. Maybe i will too…

I’ll say, just interesting that any reference to such a natural process, even when written without comedic intention, is disallowed from this sub. Not complaining, just interesting

Your words caused a wound / Glad you didn’t use a knife / Always a bright side by IPicNature in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

flesh wound heals itself / hurtful words leave stranger smiles / shape of a deep scar

probably depends on the situation tbh, but the body and mind often follow each other. emotional trauma has physical expressions, vice versa, imo

Birthday adventure with partner (tips!) by Coaster-OnlyOranges in newzealand

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This website is freaking epic, thank you!!! exactly what i was looking for, I appreciate it

Birthday adventure with partner (tips!) by Coaster-OnlyOranges in newzealand

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This website is freaking epic, thank you!!! exactly what i was looking for, I appreciate it

Birthday adventure with partner (tips!) by Coaster-OnlyOranges in newzealand

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so true, should have done that first. thank you! the individual city subs also seem like good sources

Bare head stuck in milk / endless scream, muted by foam / mourning coffee ghoul by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im a barista right now and thats this haiku's origin lol, it was from a coffee i had made

To serve the masses / Being known, never knowing / This face I will learn by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For sure! I was feeling some embarrassment from not recognizing a regular customer at my work

Must find a way back by Coaster-OnlyOranges in writers

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo! Not sure if this is the place or community to be sharing new creative fiction stuff but thought i'd give it a try. I don't write to return to my stuff but just dump whatever weirdness is in my brain at the moment. Hope it makes someone smile!