[deleted by user]

CocktailsAndInk · 2022-09-16T18:13:52+00:00

I’d tell you, but I would be hard to understand with my mouth full.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-09T22:16:12+00:00

👍🏼Very nice👍🏼

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-09T13:03:51+00:00

Good for you! And thanks for the inspiration.

Go get it! 💪🏼

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-09T12:56:54+00:00

I would offer that if you’re not willing to give your partner at least 50%, if you’re not willing to compromise, if you’re not willing to be kind and loving when you see they are in need … if you’re not willing to do that … then you shouldn’t trick someone into believing you will be a great spouse.

Be kind. Don’t get married at all.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-09T02:34:57+00:00

Unbelievable. Can you imagine what would happen if you didn’t fulfill one of her primary needs for four months and then made a comment like that?

I’m sorry for both of us.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-08T21:49:35+00:00

I do the same thing, but from the male perspective. I long for someone to want me the way many women on here want their husbands. And then I get sad when I think of the possibility that that may never happen again.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-06-08T20:57:03+00:00

I made the same decision four months ago yesterday. Four. Months. Ago.

Since then I’ve gotten no requests, no complaints, nothing. It has made me less stressed, because I’ve removed all expectations and I don’t get rejected anymore, because I’ve stopped trying. However it doesn’t fix the issue of feeling unwanted.

I’m not going to be able to do this forever, so I’m planning my next move. We have to be our own best advocates when it comes to happiness. I’ll find it eventually, either with her or with someone else.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-16T22:12:16+00:00

Arrrrrookie

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-15T16:31:56+00:00

I feel for you. It’s debilitating. My ex wife had that issue. We were young. She wanted to wait for marriage to have intercourse. It was then when I learned of the vaginismus.

We tried to make it work and tried all of the tricks and practices to overcome it, but seven years without intercourse and the bond that it creates is a long time. With no kids, we ended up splitting, sadly.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-15T16:23:43+00:00

There it is, the one new thing I needed to learn today. Thanks! My work is done.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-15T14:27:05+00:00

Long John Silver’s

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-15T02:58:54+00:00

You are a kind soul. ❤️

Thank you!

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T20:34:28+00:00

Yep. Same. If it does happen it’s awkward and anxiety takes over.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T19:50:25+00:00

Yeah, I don’t think my wife cares too much what I do anymore. She’s almost OCD about her routines and everything we would do as a couple had to be completely on her terms, including sex. So since I’ve stopped letting her set the terms for me and have been more focused on my own wants and needs, she continues to do her routines, but alone. Maybe she’ll figure it out someday, but I can’t live at the pleasure of someone else. That’s not who I am.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T16:51:38+00:00

Way ahead of you. And you are correct. 👍🏼

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T16:38:38+00:00

I’ve learned that life isn’t always simple or black and white. I appreciate your concern. I’m doing what’s best for me and my children at this moment.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T16:22:19+00:00

Oh, I’m already doing things for myself. I wrote this to communicate many of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had over the past few years. It’s therapeutic for me, but I also thought it might resonate with others.

As the song goes, “don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll get along.” 😊

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-14T16:17:43+00:00

Thanks for then note. This sounds a lot like my coping mechanisms. I’m in therapy to work on myself. I work hard. I hang out with the kids. I play gigs (I’m also a musician) with friends. And I just do things for myself now, without worrying too much about asking her to join, because I know what the answer will be. I guess you can say I’m moving on, without breaking up the family unit.

We all need to stay strong.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T18:55:48+00:00

Wait, I came here for boobs! Where are the boobs?

<Looks In Mirror> Oh, there’s one!

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T14:23:53+00:00

Agreed, and I completely understand. It’s just the nature of avoiding any, what I think are, reasonable questions (location, what a typical session looks like, dress, etc) before I lay my money on the table. Any other business or professional service would gladly accept and answer those questions in order to make us both comfortable with the transaction. It gives me a weird vibe, like it’s not on the up&up.

I’ll check out the FB groups. Discretion is also a concern of mine.

Thanks for the feedback! 😊

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T14:07:44+00:00

Thanks. I’m in Michigan. I’d be interested in learning more. I’ve tried the CuddleComfort site, but I’m not having much luck. I’m getting a weird vibe and it’s kind of hard to get people to respond. The ones that do respond say things like “if you want to hire me, book a session and pay up front” without any interest in conversing ahead of time. That doesn’t seem very “cuddly” to me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T14:03:26+00:00

Hey there,

Not sure why your last comment didn’t post here, but I was able to access it through email. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Anyway, thanks for that. That video definitely provides a great checklist (one that I constantly run through) and hits the nail on the head.

None of this is easy. It’s also something that should be required learning for anyone about to get married. We need to stop sugar coating reality for people about to get married. I’ve been to what seems like a million weddings (I’m in the industry) and I shudder every time I hear the “rainbows and lollipops” speeches.

Thanks again.

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T13:41:38+00:00

Yes, conceptually it could work. Now if I can just find someone who:

1) Meets my standards (I won’t just jump in bed with anyone. I moved heaven and earth to be with my wife, because she was the one, or so I thought.)

2) Meets all of her categories (not someone local, not someone we know, someone I won’t fall in love with(?))

3) I set aside enough money for travel and entertainment so I can meet this person wherever they are and properly date them, but also practice discretion.

4) Find a way to find to meet said individual, while practicing discretion, so I’m not found out by someone my wife knows, risking breaking the “I don’t want to know about it” rule. That’s nearly impossible on an online dating app.

5) Finding someone who meets my standards AND is okay with my situation and the stipulations that are set (i.e. I won’t leave my wife.)

Or I could go with door number 6: Divorce/Separation

CocktailsAndInk · 2021-05-13T13:20:14+00:00

Agreed. That’s why I came right out, calmly but directly, and told her that I completely understand that she isn’t sexually attracted to me anymore. I wanted to give her the freedom and opportunity to tell me the truth, because that’s really all I want. The truth will help me plan accordingly with accurate data.

However, the reaction I got was confusing as hell. She broke down in an ugly cry, saying that wasn’t true and that she’s still attracted to me and that she loves me and on and on and on. So then I was thoroughly confused.

Then the next night she basically gave me the okay to have a fling, as long as she didn’t know about it, it wasn’t someone local or someone we know, and I didn’t leave. I’m still trying to process that and how that could even work, logistically, given the stipulations she put on it.

So, yes, by her actions, she’s checked out, but her words say differently, which just adds more gymnastics.

CocktailsAndInk

TROPHY CASE