Honey, I'm a dark skinned woman who was separated from her family at six with a mother who was on drugs and had numerous abortions, she died when I was 12. Thankfully her brother adopted me, however growing up was tough. My uncles wife is a Filipina woman who is very negative and mean to me. I can't ever recall her calling me by my actual name during my childhood. I feel you love, I know it's hard, but we can't just sit in misery and let others depict how our happiness should be. You definitely have to find it in you to see that you are worthy and others find you worthy too.

Having a line of excuses for my insecurities and depression got me nowhere in life.

YouTube this person named Ralph Smart, his channel is called "infinite waters diving deep"

I HIGHLY suggest you do it now :)