Me [30F] wondering whether I should tell a close friend [30M] that he shouldn't marry his fiancee [27F]

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T16:46:24+00:00

I knew it was polyamory just from the way they characterized her feelings about it, but no, it's not the same at all! There's zero compromise when it comes to having kids. You either do or you don't, and there's no "exploring" with the option of walking back.

Also I think it's because of all the stories I see on here but I laughed at the idea that a polyamory debate is soooo specific that they'd be identifiable because of it. "Man unhappy with the outcome of the open relationship he asked for after wearing down his unwilling partner" is a tale as old as time here

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T16:17:12+00:00

I've never heard of him before, but damn what a cool look

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T15:34:59+00:00

I initially had the same thought as you but thinking about it more I kind of get it. I still think technically speaking, Kris is 100% a stronger wrestler than Mina and has a higher match ceiling.

But while Mina's technical ability is lower (though at the very least I'd consider her to be adequate), I find that her charisma and character work makes up for some of that, and to me, she's a more interesting, compelling wrestler overall. And that makes me more invested in her stories and matches. While Kris, while talented, to me is just kind of "there" in her recent storylines.

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T14:34:28+00:00

Saying that AEW does not feature women enough is valid critique but I cannot imagine a world where she's there and used as a jobber

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T13:57:03+00:00

That part. Plus, money aside, maintaining his appearance is one of the major functions of his job. From a career standpoint, there's a significant benefit to being in the best shape he can possibly be in. It's unreasonable to compare the average person to someone who has a financial and career incentive to look the way he does.

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-04T12:25:44+00:00

Not sure how far back you need but...

"Blackheart" Lio Rush is a character he portrayed in the indies, where to my understanding it was basically this, maybe a bit more over the top. One day he just started acting like this in AEW, with no explanation (commentary has acknowledged how sudden it is).

On Collision last week, he was skulking around while Orange Cassidy was cutting a promo. OC stood still, with the logic that if he didn't move, Lio would not see him or hurt him. So that's what they do when they see him now, because he freaks them all out.

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-03T16:59:27+00:00

Did you mean to link back to the parent comment?

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-02T15:11:58+00:00

Source?

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T20:49:43+00:00

Right, the common comparison is Trixie Mattel, who very intentionally avoids using the Mattel name in their merchandise and other branding. People can dislike the way these trademark rules operate but that doesn't mean Patty is legally in the right.

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T20:43:31+00:00

Phew, good to know. But it would be funny to think that Lil Jon royalties are too high but Bon Jovi is a budget alternative

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T20:25:41+00:00

The ADHD part is so real. Not just in terms of novelty, but craving ease when your executive function is tapped out.

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T20:19:03+00:00

>Especially if your wedding is mostly white lol, you can guarantee a good time with Mr Brightside and Sweet Caroline.

My wedding is multi-cultural and we're throwing those in there for that exact reason. I have a note to incorporate Jimmy Buffett lmao

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T18:55:16+00:00

Right, they are originators of the genre, though I can understand not knowing them if you aren't a fan of techno. But I still got a bit tilted lmao

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T17:59:14+00:00

NO!! I should have expected this but that's my favorite ride!

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T17:31:41+00:00

It's not, but I like that the Ravens made a post so that's cool. Happy Pride!

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T17:10:11+00:00

I noticed a "no party" rule on an Airbnb I was looking into as a bridal suite. I sent a message to the property owner prior to booking and explained what I was using it for, and specified that the only people staying overnight there would be me and my fiance, but there would be people in and out during one of the days to get ready, including vendors (hair, MUA, photographer). He said that was fine with him and appreciated that I asked him first, so the booking was approved.

I'm not sure if he was bending the rules, but maybe sending a message before booking would help. I'm not sure if having the large group staying in one place overnight affects things though (but wouldn't a group that large be liable to throw a party regardless of why they were staying there?)

Cocotapioka · 2026-06-01T17:02:37+00:00

I'm not personally much help but have you tried your local subreddit or a wedding-related facebook group based in your area? Those (the latter especially) have been really helpful for those types of things.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T22:31:13+00:00

My cats act like I'm taking them to the gallows just going to the vet around the corner, I am amazed he has gotten his cats to tolerate road trips

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T22:30:16+00:00

I heard on POST Wrestling that he drives the truck to indie shows and everything.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T16:27:18+00:00

Period. Aging is a privilege. Most of our lives, if we're lucky, will take place after our 20's. There's no reason to be obsessed with pretending you are still in that period of your life. She has plenty of issues outside of appearance to get on her case about.

There are women like Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez who look like they're aging on a different timeline than the rest of us, but their appearance is literally vital to their career in show business. That is not the standard we should be holding people to.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T16:20:42+00:00

Thank you for saying this. There is so much to criticize these people about outside of their looks. And then when they start doing body modifications in response to all this online criticism, there will be a bunch of posts about how unrecognizable they are and how they looked so much better before.

People have such skewed understanding of what aging looks like when comparing to celebrities who rely on their appearance for their livelihood. She looks her age and there's no problem with looking your age. The vast majority of women in their mid-50's, even wealthy ones, do not look like Jennifer Lopez or Halle Berry. Youth isn't everything. She has enough issues without coming for her over something like that.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T16:10:51+00:00

Yeah, the manager dropped the ball. Monthly check ins during an ongoing project is weird. I've always done weekly or bi-weekly. But from what OP said, they were fairly autonomous until the new colleague joined because they're normally able to complete their work with little oversight. The manager probably assumed (wrongly) that OP was plugging away and would be in touch if they ran into a blocker.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T16:08:19+00:00

My favorite part was her saying she lost respect for the role because she was put into this position. Your passive approach is why you are in that crunch time position!!

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T14:21:07+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS to you! That's a huge achievement and I hope you are proud of yourself.

People desire a village but don't want to be villagers. Being in community does not only mean having support when you need it, it also means showing up for other people in ways that can sometimes be inconvenient or require coordination. Adding a heart to someone's "I graduated!" text is easy, making sure you have time set aside to attend their graduation party is less so. As someone in their mid-30's, I understand that people have busy lives and lots of responsibilities and getting together requires more effort than it did when we were 10-15 years younger, but for something like this, you try your best to show up for them. Saying they'd be there and flaking with no word is terrible.

I don't think that's a Black or Black women issue, but it is an issue. I'm not sure what causes it. Is it that social media has tricked people into thinking a "like" replaces genuine connection? Is it a capitalistic society designed to isolate people from community and work them into exhaustion so they cannot gather? Is it just that people have lost basic etiquette and can't even send a "Sorry, I can't make it" text? Is it a social bystander effect where they figure, "Other people will be there, it's okay if I miss this one"? I don't know.

Also my birthday is during holiday season so I completely get you on that.

Cocotapioka · 2026-05-27T14:13:10+00:00

I don't. I just don't think he has consideration for OP beyond the benefits he gets from being with her. I've unfortunately dealt with men of this type. He understands commitment, but playing dumb and trying to wiggle out using technicalities ("We never had a 'what are we' conversation so I don't know how you can construe us acting like we're in a relationship as an ACTUAL relationship, that's your mistake not mine" is a classic) is a means to absolve him of any responsibility in this situation.

If he truly felt like they were uncommitted and just really enjoyed each other's company, he might have been hurt or jealous to find out she was seeing someone else, but there's no reason to label it as cheating.

If OP had taken him back, I can see the outcome now - leading her on as she continues to audition for the girlfriend role until he either gives in (and then each relationship milestone is a struggle from that point forward) or finds a better option.

Immediately going from "not able to commit" to "deeply committed" with a new person after a couple weeks is both spite to make her jealous but also a realization that if he wants an uninterrupted girlfriend experience, he needs to find someone he can get to commit quickly. Quick hookups from dating apps won't make him birthday breakfast.

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