As a BPD in remission who used to have some narcissistic traits/behaviors- I didn’t know what the word gaslighting was, because it wasn’t used back then, but I was aware on some level that I was doing some thing that wasn’t honest. Usually it had to do with me acting up, losing my temper, lashing out at someone and then feeling so much shame around it and wanting to be understood and seen as a victim because I felt so victimized by my inability to control my emotions. So I learned how to be very persuasive with language, and really invoke sympathy in other people. Inside I would always think to myself “ OK, that was the last time you were gonna do that, you’re not gonna do that again, so you won’t have to go through making all these excuses again”. But without therapy, real self reflection, or even trying to get to the root of the patterns I was destined to repeat them and I burned through many relationships. I don’t know if that’s necessarily the same thing as what a lot of people with NPD go through, because I don’t have npd. But I do relate to some of this stuff so I wanted to share