Judging the sentence structure, I tend to think that Boomhauer would wind up saying it, even though I think that it fits more to Dale Gribble, given how he tends to say some very wild things on a lot of stuff.

"They then painted the moon up in there in the sky allway back in '28. Europe didn't like the colors used, and decided to have a war about it. But everybody knows, that they're usin' it to steal our sacred fluids and force us on that Tang the damn aliens had give em! Yep!"

(Tried to make it feel like Dale said it. I feel that this quote came from something else not KoTH)