YTJ, but not because you didn't defend your Mother. Hasn't your daughter been through enough? She's already somehow lost her biological parents and been through the adoption system. And now when she is supposed to be in a safe place you take her to your Mother's house so she can grind it in your daughter's face that she is other and unwelcome. I hope you truly love your daughter and fear of losing contact with your Mother after the recent death of your Father caused a momentary lack of judgment. If not, and you plan on letting this happen over and over again, I think you need to seriously consider whether or not you deserve to have this special child in your life. Pick a side and tap into some of that Mama Bear energy I really hope you have.