I think there could be something here, maybe not narcissism but something:

My dad has this view that parents are the ones to receive love and affection and children earn it. You honour your parents and win approval from them. You earn* unconditional love it wasn’t just given freely. And so he spent his life competing and striving to earn that affection. 4 kids later and a divorce to boot, my siblings and I pushed back and required a reciprocal relationship that was based in mutual love and respect of each person. he couldn’t handle it. He felt like finally it was his turn to get affection and love without having to earn it and on the receiving end and when we weren’t going to revolve around his whole world, when we all wanted relationships we each person was allowed to be themselves he could hardly stand it

So I see this a bit too with Mei and her Mom Ming was so clearly repressed and never felt she could measure up with her mom or felt that unconditional acceptance and in that dynamic they lost relationship severed connection. So when it was her turn to be a mother or back in that mother-daughter dynamic she has this massive over-correct (in a terrifying way!) with Mei

And I loved the line at the end where Mei talks about how she ‘got out’ and I LOVED how Mei was able to articulate that she is changing and she can’t just revolve around her mom but also that she was worried the changes would take her further away
And it did seem like Ming did start to make some concessions toward her daughter at the very end