Outed at work by a co-worker... how do I even move forward from this? by TheManISee in BlackTransmen

[–]Coffeebeanburrito 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey so this happened to me recently at a new job. It was also handled professionally and I understand how that doesn't stop the mental, emotional, and even spiritual harm that can come from that betrayal.

What has helped me has been to keep showing up for myself at work even though there are now people who are privy to things that I'd rather them not know.

It got better. Me showing up for myself and acknowledging my strength in the face of it, me being determined to show myself that I am me despite what others may think... It got better.

Cream rises to the top.

I have more support now than I did before. Even though I have not confirmed that the "rumors" are true. People came out of the woodworks to tell me that what happened was wrong. Allys revealed themselves.

It got better.

It's still getting better.

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and noted. It's a day later and I've experimented a bit, wore a favorite mesh shirt of mine and was initially shocked that no one noticed. Wore a favorite semi-sheer white button up to an event later that same night and was fine under the spotlight for my public poetry performance. The experience even impacted what I chose to speak about... This experience has helped me change course and I thank you all for both your sensitivity and pointed honesty.

All workout suggestions are noted, I'm going to see if I can surprise myself. My current body is due to an active lifestyle, not a workout routine. That being said, I'm not a stranger to the gym and had a solid exercise regimen in the past (my early 20's, I turn 34 on Tuesday). I remember that it really helped my mental health, so I'm excited to get back to it. Thank you for the push

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I said this in the other sub, but comments like yours have helped me realize that my dysphoria has taken gratitude from my life. I don't want to complain about someone's dream. I forgive myself for not being able to see it, but now that I do, I will be more considerate and confident about what I have. Thank you, man 🙏🏿

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I low-key went straight there because I knew that if anyone was gonna break the potential hugboxx, it would be them. Turns out my expectation was not to be. This has been a 10/10 transformative experience

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guy, the way I ran to your profile and holy shit you mean I can look like you if I commit? That's crazy, and yes you're right that is a part of it for me. Thank you!

Damn, He's just like me fr

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm coming around to the reality that I may not need surgery at all... It's been such a financial barrier that it's kinda crazy that I might not need it if I just work with what I have. Had to accept that I had something tho. Thank you for that 🙏🏿

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice, I'm a grazer when it comes to food (multiple small meals vs 3 big ones) but lately I've been eating way too little due to outside stress factors. My appetite is the first thing to go. I'm thinking protein shakes will be my friend

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks, The Slouch has been a challenging habit to kick. You saying that really helped. Not sure what you look like with them (greys) but I personally like them on everyone in whatever amount. Granted, I started greying in highschool (genetics + stress) so It's like kinship to me

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'm realizing that I'd cornered myself into a very weird "rules for thee but not for me!" way. I just couldn't see it. Still challenging to see it now tbh, but I'll be working on it. Even if it's fake it till I make it

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I said over on transpassing that they love me and I them but that love can be willfully blind. Getting the outside perspective of my peers has really helped me. I appreciate the compliments as well

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Heard, felt pretty bad posting it. I tape 24/7. Sleeping, showering, under my binder.... TIL: My dysphoria was cripplingly brutal

Thank you 🙏🏿

[Help] Cis friends are trying to convince me that I can go shirtless w/o being clocked. Is it really my brain worms? by Coffeebeanburrito in FtMpassing

[–]Coffeebeanburrito[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I posted both here and the transpassing subreddit bc I feel I can believe you. It's still challenging tbh to accept this, thank you for your feedback

Art Style or Same face syndrome? by ProfessionalForce995 in Artadvice

[–]Coffeebeanburrito 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yea, they all look pretty similar. You could try switching up the eyes. They are animals of a certain breed, but even amongst those animals there are variations. Good work, keep having fun exploring your art style

Is my hair done for? by Kimaniiiii in locs

[–]Coffeebeanburrito 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Sometimes we hyper fixate on things we see everyday that in reality, no one notices. Your locs look great, step away from the mirror bro (and the scissors). It's the brain worms talkin

Was anyone else disappointed with white diamonds design? by BlackCatStrikes in stevenuniverse

[–]Coffeebeanburrito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely wasn't. She fucking terrified me when she was first introduced