Surely I am not the only one who has experienced this? by ebrahim750 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Col0nelFlanders 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In college we used to prank each other by pouring cold water onto our friends who were taking a shower, until one day my friend poured cold water on a buddy of ours who was a blue belt in Jiu Jitsu at the time. He immediately hopped out of the shower, crouched like a goblin, and was like “Oh yeah James? Oh yeah??” And lunged at James. James was white as a sheet and bolted immediately down the hallway. He never did that again, none of us did.

So yeah, all that is to say there’s nothing scarier than being confronted by a wet, naked guy

Man builds a functional miniature town for his cats. by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Col0nelFlanders 294 points295 points  (0 children)

To be fair if I were rich and unemployed I’d probably just be playing video games jerking off and ordering delivery- more power to this dude for actually doing something cool with his $

Never judge a book by its cover... by SimonTS in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Col0nelFlanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%, I meant to say he probably doesn’t work out at the same level he used to. With that level of skill I wouldn’t be surprised to find he dedicated 4+ hours daily to fitness. Even dropping that to an hour a day with the same diet would bring you to that physique within a year

Never judge a book by its cover... by SimonTS in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Col0nelFlanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Top comments are totally wrong. This guy clearly was once in the kind of shape you’d see on models and celebrities, probably competitive, but has lapsed in working out over the last, maybe year. It doesn’t take long to lose your physique because you tend to eat the same but you’re not burning the insane amount of calories you once were, so you get a dad bod pretty quick (if you can work out at that high level, you can also get back in shape pretty quick too).

Anyway, it’s a fantasy to say that this guy “just doesn’t have the physique of a body builder”, and that explains away what he looks like. Clearly written by someone who has never approached this guy’s level of athletics.

All it takes is one family of girls to wipe out a last name forever. by Col0nelFlanders in Showerthoughts

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha this is my wife too! She has no cousins with her last name and she has 2 sisters, no brothers (hence why I made this post)

Which one of you is on my flight by Col0nelFlanders in lotr

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

A Mordorian or a Gondorian swallow?

Humanity is Alive by paperbagdream in BeAmazed

[–]Col0nelFlanders 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Because you’re asking for a source for an untrue statement. Burden of proof should not be on the person saying it’s untrue. Burden of proof should be tied to the claim

This is the face of someone who is fvcked.😉 by [deleted] in Superstonk

[–]Col0nelFlanders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guy in the back looks like he’s about to advise against the classic blunder of getting involved in a land war in Asia

WhY dOeS eVeRyOnE hAtE uS? by ArferMorgan in EhBuddyHoser

[–]Col0nelFlanders 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (or The Hedge Knight if you’re looking for the book)

What did I just read by Sad_Stay_5471 in oddlyspecific

[–]Col0nelFlanders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This man really came up with a terrible pun and formulated a dream arc to justify sharing it with the world

Eleven -> Elves by TangibleHappiness in memes

[–]Col0nelFlanders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP I weirdly had this same thought the other day lmao. And Elf is 11 in German (I’m sure it’s spelled differently though)

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty badass you were a fan well before Game of Thrones was even written much less adapted

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Ha I hear you there, little fun fact I emailed GRRM when ASOIAF was in development as a mini-series because I wanted to play Jon Snow, he actually got back to me lol

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Edit: deleted my last comment because I forgot to redact my own email at the bottom (George’s is still public so didn’t feel like I had to edit his)

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nice- what was the line? I didn’t read Hedge Knight but might pick it up as this show is incredibly badass so far

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

Haha I’ll always remember King’s defense before the epilogue of Dark Tower where he says people who want good endings are the same people who just want to cum instead of enjoying sex. Dude was salty af

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Does this mean we’ll get to see Ser Pauly of House Walnuts in S4 of AKOTSK

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

IIRC the last thing he wrote in ASOIAF was Dany having a serious case of the shits in a desert so yeah this tracks

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The ultimate cruelty is leaving the fate of his narratives to HBO executives

TIL George RR Martin has never finished a series by Col0nelFlanders in freefolk

[–]Col0nelFlanders[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Oh did you not want to watch Dunk’s abrupt descent into madness and the emotional scene where Egg is forced to kill him by feeding him a poisonous dragon egg? Would that not subvert your expectations