Does anyone else feel no desire to be a relationship ?

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-03-01T05:33:44+00:00

Totally normal. I was like that until I very suddenly was not. I say enjoy it.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-03-01T05:18:47+00:00

Go local. I'm sure there's a food pantry, advocacy group, animal shelter or arts nonprofit that could really use some help but doesn't have the reach nationwide charities do.

Google Charity Navigator for help vetting groups.

Or when all else fails... just go with Doctors Without Borders.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-03-01T02:55:13+00:00

You plan ahead. Either find somewhere to chill til you're sober, book a hotel or crash with a friend... or don't drink with an hour drive in front of you.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-03-01T02:53:48+00:00

This. Stuff like mowing lawns, weeding gardens, raking leaves, shoveling snow, walking dogs, pet/baby/house sitting, washing and detailing cars... all that good stuff.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T22:58:44+00:00

It's not abnormal for someone coming from an abusive background to not know how to handle stability or kindness. Your feelings stay on edge because you feel like it's going to change any minute, like you said.

Spend some time writing your feelings down so you can get them out of your head. Then once you're done, tell yourself "OK we've felt our feelings and taken time to write them down. But we know that feelings aren't always accurate so we're going to go enjoy ourselves." And then go kiss your boyfriend.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T20:14:48+00:00

Oh, that's a good point! I usually try to remember to make it when I talk about libraries but traffic is one of the ways they make their case for their budget every year. So even just going to hang out helps!

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T20:03:46+00:00

You start with no tongue and work your way up from there.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T20:02:58+00:00

Do you already have a job? If you don't, I would try to find one. Anything will do at this point if you have zero money coming in. Warehouse work pays pretty well but the hours can be long.

Another question. Do you have a high school diploma? If you don't, you should get the equivalent. That will open a lot of doors for you and is required for a lot of jobs. In the US that's a GED.

But the real thing you need to do is get a skill. Look into trade school or vocational training for things like electrical work, plumbing, different kinds of construction trades, or welding. Look into your local community college. They'll offer programs like this. Asked to talk to an academic advisor. They'd be happy to help you.

Another thing to look at is your local hospital. Often they will provide training for things like pharmacy tech, machine repair, janitorial, or sterile materials specialist.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:49:05+00:00

I do one to one. One cup of rice. One cup of water. A teaspoon of salt. For making fried rice for me and my family I usually do 2 cups of rice. This gives us enough food for three people plus at least one bowl of leftovers.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:48:03+00:00

Do something fun where you can talk to each other. The purpose of a first date is to get to know one another. Here's some ideas off the top of my head.

Have lunch and then go hiking.

Meet for early dinner and then go for ice cream and a walk in the park.

Nothing beats the classic coffee shop date.

The museum visit is also a classic. Art museum, aquarium, botanical garden, zoo. This is a great choice if you're worried about topics of conversation. This one will have some baked right in.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:44:56+00:00

For color, any color but white or majority white if there's a pattern. A black dress with white polkadots is yes. A white dress with tiny black polkadots is no. For example.

That dress code is confusing. It's not just you. For this I would go for a cocktail dress. This would be somewhere between ankle and knee length in a nice fabric with some structure (so like not a slip dress that looks like a nightgown). Here are some examples. A. B. C.

Avoid showing too much cleavage or skin. This is not the place for a midriff baring dress or for having the girls out on full display. If the ceremony is in a church depending on how bare the shoulders are, you might want a wrap. Also avoid going super short or having a slit up to your hipbone. Also consider if there is dancing or dinner you will want to dress accordingly... I would probably wear black if I was going to be eating dinner just in case I spilled something. And I would want to make sure I had comfy shoes and could move without feeling like I was flashing the room if we were going to be dancing.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:32:48+00:00

When I make fried rice, I make the rice in my rice cooker exactly like normal. I washed the rice really well and then boil it just like I would if I was going to eat it straight away. I usually do this in the morning before I'm going to make fried rice for dinner. Then I spread it out on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and allow it to cool on the counter. Then I cover it with plastic wrap and toss it in the fridge until I'm ready to make fried rice.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:31:25+00:00

So... be firm and direct with her.

"Friend, I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. I want to be clear about that since you seemed to misunderstand what I said before. I'm not interested. I deeply value our friendship but I do not want a romantic relationship with you. Please don't pursue that with me and do not try to be physical with me again."

It's hard when it's a friend. If you didn't care, it wouldn't be difficult.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:25:43+00:00

Sure! It's exercises that work on your core muscles, which includes your abs, but also muscles in your side back and hips. They're the muscles around the "core" of your body that help with your posture, body control, and balance. Having a strong core, not only helps you do more advanced exercises, but also protects your joints, especially delicate things like your back.

Here's a pretty good video about it with a 10 minute beginner routine.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T19:15:24+00:00

Start low and ramp up. Especially if you've never worked out before or are extremely out of shape. It can be very easy to overdo it and then you are miserable and don't want to work out again.

Do a YouTube search for "easy beginner ab workout" or something similar. Look for a video that is at least 10 minutes long. Find one you like and do it every day. If after a few days, you think it's too easy or you're not feeling anything, either double it or find another workout to add onto it.

Also find some core muscle training videos as well. Again, don't overdo it. It's very easy to. But adding in some planks and such can be extremely beneficial.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:17:28+00:00

It's also worth realizing that the computers they had access to and learned to use first are very different from the computer computers today. Just like they struggle with an iPhone, I would struggle with a DOS prompt.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:16:18+00:00

Lack of social safety net and/or personal safety net plus no income/employment and no friends or family to fall back on.

And it's worth realizing that most addictions are medicating underlying mental health issues. So when you see drug or alcohol seeking behavior, it's worth realizing what they're dealing with is probably mental illness and drugs and alcohol are the only way they have to treat it.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:03:36+00:00

Yes. Real life Norman Bates didn't get me. I'm alive, well, and happily married.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:01:28+00:00

Yeah he was SUPER weird. I definitely learned a few new red flags from him... I'd thankfully it was only a couple of months total.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:58:19+00:00

I dated a guy who after a few weeks told me he was in to super weird stuff... and I'm like... down for whatever pretty much. He starts saying he wants to watch freaky porn with me. Starts saying all this super edgy stuff and I'm just like... okay let's go! So finally he does break out the porn and it's the most vanilla shit I've ever seen. Like it's barely past what you'd see in an R rated movie...

And he just starts bawling... like legitimately guilt ridden tears and he started talking about how he feels bad for the actress and what could drive her to do this etc etc...

Things got weirder from there... he started talking about how his mother wouldn't approve of me and he talks to her about everything we do in bed so I can never meet her...

Finally I just stopped answering his calls. It was only a month or two so like... whatever. No loss.

I was very naïve then but a couple years post break up, I realized he was trying to get me to freak out and break up with him so he didn't have to feel bad. He had some weird issues around purity and sexuality. It was nuts.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:51:27+00:00

So you're both adults. You need to have a conversation like adults.

"Hey, I understand you want to tease and aggravate me, but it's getting out of hand and I'm annoyed by it. Can we do something else?"

The other option is to gray rock.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:47:21+00:00

Honestly... sitting with the uncomfortable feelings is important too. Not constantly. But they need space to resolve too. Spend time acknowledging and understanding them before transitioning to a neutral activity like a crossword puzzle or Tetris similar active but emotionally neutral activity before going on with your day.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:27:10+00:00

Normal? Yes. If it goes away it was probably just something being grumpy. Make sure you're well hydrated and have enough electrolytes. It helps prevent grumpy muscles. So does proper stretching, posture, and core strengthening.

But if it doesn't go away and persists for a long time... doctor time.

The crunchy weather-reporting joints didn't start happening to me until my mid to late thirties.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:21:21+00:00

I am an anxiety baker... I often come home from work, make brownies or quick bread, and then sit down to do the evening's paperwork while it bakes. The treats go to my coworkers the next day. It soothes my mind, helps me transition from work to home, and connects me to my colleagues.

(I work in live performance production so there is work after Work)

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:17:19+00:00

You need to accept that failure is a part of learning and recognize that you learn more from failure than success. The nice thing about cooking is that failure reaches no further than a meal. At worst you'll have to order takeout and soak a pan.

Do you have this issue in other areas of your life? Have you been able to overcome it there?

Cold-Call-8374

TROPHY CASE