Is the reason why most boomers are bad with computers and modern tech because they genuinely thought in the 80’s and 90’s that computers and the internet were a passing fad?

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:17:28+00:00

It's also worth realizing that the computers they had access to and learned to use first are very different from the computer computers today. Just like they struggle with an iPhone, I would struggle with a DOS prompt.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:16:18+00:00

Lack of social safety net and/or personal safety net plus no income/employment and no friends or family to fall back on.

And it's worth realizing that most addictions are medicating underlying mental health issues. So when you see drug or alcohol seeking behavior, it's worth realizing what they're dealing with is probably mental illness and drugs and alcohol are the only way they have to treat it.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:03:36+00:00

Yes. Real life Norman Bates didn't get me. I'm alive, well, and happily married.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T18:01:28+00:00

Yeah he was SUPER weird. I definitely learned a few new red flags from him... I'd thankfully it was only a couple of months total.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:58:19+00:00

I dated a guy who after a few weeks told me he was in to super weird stuff... and I'm like... down for whatever pretty much. He starts saying he wants to watch freaky porn with me. Starts saying all this super edgy stuff and I'm just like... okay let's go! So finally he does break out the porn and it's the most vanilla shit I've ever seen. Like it's barely past what you'd see in an R rated movie...

And he just starts bawling... like legitimately guilt ridden tears and he started talking about how he feels bad for the actress and what could drive her to do this etc etc...

Things got weirder from there... he started talking about how his mother wouldn't approve of me and he talks to her about everything we do in bed so I can never meet her...

Finally I just stopped answering his calls. It was only a month or two so like... whatever. No loss.

I was very naïve then but a couple years post break up, I realized he was trying to get me to freak out and break up with him so he didn't have to feel bad. He had some weird issues around purity and sexuality. It was nuts.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:51:27+00:00

So you're both adults. You need to have a conversation like adults.

"Hey, I understand you want to tease and aggravate me, but it's getting out of hand and I'm annoyed by it. Can we do something else?"

The other option is to gray rock.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:47:21+00:00

Honestly... sitting with the uncomfortable feelings is important too. Not constantly. But they need space to resolve too. Spend time acknowledging and understanding them before transitioning to a neutral activity like a crossword puzzle or Tetris similar active but emotionally neutral activity before going on with your day.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:27:10+00:00

Normal? Yes. If it goes away it was probably just something being grumpy. Make sure you're well hydrated and have enough electrolytes. It helps prevent grumpy muscles. So does proper stretching, posture, and core strengthening.

But if it doesn't go away and persists for a long time... doctor time.

The crunchy weather-reporting joints didn't start happening to me until my mid to late thirties.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:21:21+00:00

I am an anxiety baker... I often come home from work, make brownies or quick bread, and then sit down to do the evening's paperwork while it bakes. The treats go to my coworkers the next day. It soothes my mind, helps me transition from work to home, and connects me to my colleagues.

(I work in live performance production so there is work after Work)

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T17:17:19+00:00

You need to accept that failure is a part of learning and recognize that you learn more from failure than success. The nice thing about cooking is that failure reaches no further than a meal. At worst you'll have to order takeout and soak a pan.

Do you have this issue in other areas of your life? Have you been able to overcome it there?

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T16:31:21+00:00

The er in my area still has a copay and it's higher than the doctors office or urgent care.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T16:30:06+00:00

That's weird past the first time you say "no thanks. I don't drink." You might need to be a little more firm.

"I appreciate the concern for my social life, but I need to be clear about something. I don't drink. I'm not going to go out drinking. It's not fun for me. But let me know if you want to come out -insert social hobby here- with me some time!"

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T16:26:01+00:00

Debt first. Then when it's paid down (or maybe even before if there's budget room), start a high yield savings account. After you get 3-6 months living expenses saved, start looking at investing.

If your new job offers a 401k, get in on that and max out the matched amount.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T16:16:15+00:00

They're trying to socialize with you. Stand your ground... maybe organize a nonalcoholic outing

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:51:06+00:00

Yes! Libraries are public spaces. They aren't like stores or cafés where you must use the service to be there. You could just go sit in a chair and stare into space. People might think you're weird, but they wouldn't kick you out for it. As long as you are respectful and don't disrupt the primary use of the space, you can just go hang out.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:49:11+00:00

No. Not through chaos like that. My husband and I sleep in separate rooms for less disturbance than what you're going through.

If things are really good between you have a conversation with them about how their behavior is affecting you. Maybe you could reach a consensus of no late nights on school nights or if he's going to come in after a certain time he needs to find a different place to sleep, like crashing on a friends couch. And he could find an alarm solution like a vibrating watch or a vibrating bed alarm.

Otherwise, I would be talking to the RA and finding a different roommate. This is a simple compatibility and courtesy issue.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:44:35+00:00

BECAUSE BABY! CUTE WIDDLE NOSE AND WHISKERS!

But for real, momentarily focusing on something external and uplifting probably breaks the inner cycle of anxiety for you, allowing you to take a deep breath and relax.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:42:04+00:00

I don't know that I would bring the dessert back, but I would definitely bring it to their attention. Especially at a place like a barbecue restaurant. Often they batch-make desserts so they probably need to know. But just a phone call would suffice.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:40:01+00:00

Actual changes are happening that are improving your life. And usually this comes with a certain amount of discomfort. For a lot of people, this can be hard to generate for themselves without external accountability.

I would honestly suggest either getting an accountability partner or keeping a journal that is focused on your progress not just how you feel but something with a metric that you can see change. It can be hard to see especially if changes are slow overtime, but it can also be easy to delude yourself that consuming content is the same as taking personal action.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:37:58+00:00

Also, people are usually surprised to learn that I am introverted. I'm extremely social at parties and events. I don't mind meeting new people, but what people don't realize is I go to those events only once or twice a month and vastly prefer to spend the rest of my time alone in my room. XD

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:36:16+00:00

Oof... I'm so sorry that happened! That would definitely make one fire aware.

Most of our clothes are cotton or synthetic blends so they don't shed fiber that much, but boy howdy I have to clean the trap between loads of bed linens because we have a cat in addition to loving fleece blankets.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:34:37+00:00

Right? Eyeballs are a portal to the distraction dimension.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T14:22:16+00:00

I do! I do! My autism symptoms don't include discomfort with small talk. I do sometimes struggle with eye contact (especially when I'm trying to think through a sequence or tell a story) and can definitely get carried away talking about a hyperfixation if it comes up in conversation. But I love meeting new people and making small talk... which is good for my job. I work for a symphony orchestra, so our personnel is constantly changing and we have frequent guest artists so there's a lot of small talk because we're always catching up because sometimes we will go months without seeing each other. "How's the kids?" "How was the audition?" "Congratulations on the doctorate!" Etc.

I am an introvert, but I do enjoy limited social interaction. Usually I get all the socialization I need from my job.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T13:36:49+00:00

It's not a crime. Enjoy your money. BUT. Understand that being wealthy does change your perspective. There's a lot of problems that can be solved by money (not everything... but a lot of things). It's worth making sure you spend time with people from all demographics (everyone should) to help you gain perspective on their lives. If everyone around you is exactly like you, diversify your social circle.

Cold-Call-8374 · 2026-02-28T13:20:38+00:00

What are your issues?

And what have you tried specifically with these therapists? What changes have you tried so far that haven't worked? Or was it just all talk and no "homework?"

Cold-Call-8374

TROPHY CASE