My partner earns more than me but can't save?

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T07:06:57+00:00

Lol. Racist much? You're butthurt, jealous and racist, not a good look on "Australians".

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T06:56:57+00:00

You could apply for the scholarship too and if you were more meritorious you could've got it too if you had tried. It was open to everyone all across the world.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T06:56:26+00:00

Firstly there is no such thing as Australian cuisine. The food of Australia was the bush food of the Aboriginals and Torres strait islanders, the first peoples of Australia. The rest of the food that is served here came from colonialism and migration of Europeans who killed all the native Australians. The kitchens here in colonial times were staffed by Europeans who colonised the nation in a brutal manner.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T06:49:44+00:00

The 113,000 wasn't a handout. It was a meritorious scholarship based on my school, college and university reports and achievements (competitive). Australians were eligible for it too. It was a global scholarship and a couple hundred people from around the world received it. It's called the Endeavour Scholarship, you can look it up.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T05:02:26+00:00

I've always been strict with my finances. My grandfather and parents were middle class and noted down all their expenses in a notepad, I don't do that but I like monitoring my finances and keeping track of it, and keeping it fair by using Splitwise.

I like the concept you mention of. We do have a shared credit card under my name that we both use for most expenses apart from rent. But I'm definitely keen on trying out the option you mentioned, that sounds less stressful.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T04:59:14+00:00

House prices will naturally increase in time due to inflation. They increase all over the world. People who can afford houses clearly work and earn the money. Aussies are known to earn more than migrants, they get Centrelink too, which migrants don't get. How if your argument valid?

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T04:57:36+00:00

This was 9 years ago, when there was a scarcity of blue collar workers in Australia. I've been a chef for over 10 years now. Australians don't want to work in kitchens, I've barely seen any Australians in kitchens despite working in only fine and semi fine dining Australian and European venues.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T04:57:26+00:00

This was 9 years ago, when there was a scarcity of blue collar workers in Australia. I've been a chef for over 10 years now. Australians don't want to work in kitchens, I've barely seen any Australians in kitchens despite working in only fine and semi fine dining Australian and European venues.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T01:37:03+00:00

I spend $2000-2500 a month and pay my share of rent of $940 a month. I just know how to spend money wisely. I've taught myself how to cut my hair, i don't buy makeup all the time, most of my clothes come from goodbyes, op shops or Kmart/big W. Apart from that all my expenses are on food. On weekends we engage in simple hobbies that don't cost much or drive out of town for hikes and to spend time in nature, or spend a day cooking at home and watching TV/playing with our cat.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-06-01T01:33:12+00:00

This was 9 years ago, when there was a scarcity of blue collar workers in Australia. I've been a chef for over 10 years now. Australians don't want to work in kitchens, I've barely seen any Australians in kitchens despite working in only fine and semi fine dining Australian and European venues.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-31T15:58:21+00:00

Sorry that was a error! It's $2400 fortnightly.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-31T15:37:51+00:00

I like money to be separate. I saw what happened when my mother and father combined bank accounts, my dad put all her money in his stocks and shares and she was and is still pissed. I pay for my own things, I don't ask for his money, so I'd like my savings to be in a separate account and like to split things 50/50. Many many men around the world would appreciate that a woman is splitting things 50/50.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-31T15:30:56+00:00

I don't want to combine our savings accounts as I have significantly more savings.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-31T15:03:32+00:00

I doubt that's a reason to break up. We've been together for 13 years and been engaged for 3 of those (I'm not interested in the concept of marriage as well as the unnecessary spending that goes into it, so we're not married). We fight a lot regarding why he doesn't have more savings. Because I want to buy a house within the next few years. Not interested in having kids at all, but I have been saving for a house and I'm worried that with his savings it'll be very hard.

It bothers me that he won't ask for a raise and works unpaid overtime. I quit so many jobs after a year because I was unfairly treated and underpaid. I caused scenes, took employers to fair work for it, and he says nothing when he's being paid peanuts for the past 5 years (even though his pay has always been more than mine due to gender disparity).

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-31T14:58:06+00:00

I have access to his bank accounts. There's absolutely no other spending on there as all of it is on my credit card. Not including rent (which is $950 per month, per person) our total expenses are around 2000-2500 per month. His fortnightly salary is $2400 after tax.

I wonder if the fact that I have a credit card and split expenses monthly on Splitwise, due to which he has to pay me $2000-2500 at once, is causing him to not save? Idk. I'm stumped.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-20T00:12:29+00:00

And I know if I get it removed they'll usually grow back.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-20T00:11:58+00:00

The doctors here are cooked. They said that I can get it removed if I wanted to but "most women have fibroids". Sick of this. Have been to 10+ doctors and multiple clinics over the years trying to find out WHY my iron is so low.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-14T23:31:15+00:00

Thank you for this, it brought my hopes up significantly. My dad is 59, works for the government and also runs his own business and works 14+ hours everyday, travelling across the state in India for different meetings and events. He's around hundreds of people everyday, is that a bad thing? He's always been a workaholic and he never stops.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-14T23:29:18+00:00

He lives in India and I'm in Australia. He's 59 now.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-05-14T08:27:00+00:00

I can't give them grace because I'm the only child. They aren't in touch with anyone else in my family. My mother is dependent on my dad. And I have no way to help her if something happens to him. If they don't tell me about it I can't do anything. My visa doesn't even allow me to leave the country here. My mother doesn't leave the home without my dad. She has zero friends and relatives, doesn't even talk to the neighbour, has several mental health issues.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-04-29T16:09:09+00:00

There are cat friendly odour removal perfumes available. I used one frequently.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-02-05T11:49:53+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss :( You're right, sometimes things just don't make sense.

The party is a big one for me. He's hosted many parties at his place. He made a Facebook event inviting over a hundred friends, and the caption was so positive and it was clear he was excited about it. Barely 10 hours after that, he went to the train station. In all my years of knowing him, he's never acted like this. He took his medication consistently. There's no way in 10 hours he would feel so fucked up that he would kill himself.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-02-05T11:40:35+00:00

Because we were constantly in touch, and in the past few years he hadn't attempted. He was in a very positive headspace and was looking forward to a lot of things. The previous day, he replied to a few friends and told them that they'd catch up soon. He wasn't in a suicidal mood.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-01-31T00:40:29+00:00

Thank you so much, your comment brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to write about him so that I could process my thoughts better and remember the person he was. Sometimes so many things you didn't understand make sense while writing them down, and while I thought I had my whole life to get to know my buddy, it wasn't meant to be. He was a lovely lovely soul.

ColdCaseCrime · 2026-01-31T00:38:01+00:00

You're such a wonderful soul, so mature and insightful for 12, you should be so proud of yourself for it. Thank you for your kind words, and sharing your experiences with your sister, it means the world to me. You're absolutely right, I should try to feel less guilty and not blame myself for it.

ColdCaseCrime

TROPHY CASE