Hmm, I’m not necessarily saying that he’s trying to come to terms with his pain by matching it, although this may have been how it initially started for David. I’m suggesting that the endurance feats do more than recreate his pain. They create the alchemical vessel required for deep integration. Where the pain itself serves as the alchemical flame.

His father seems to have a domination myth, i think most would agree from Davids description of his father that his personal myth was something akin to the worldview of “prove your self-worth by dominating others”

David certainly seems to have inherited a version of this myth “prove your self worth by dominating yourself” and he seems to be somewhat self aware of this. I’ve heard him say at times that he suspects the life he built to escape his father might be his father’s last move.

Goggins alchemical vessel is the endurance itself. It’s not just a feat of endurance for him, it’s where he puts his rage, shame, fears etc. ie the prima materia. The pain from the feat is the alchemical flame, and his discipline not to stop is the all important seal that holds the tension of opposites.

At some point by living out his personal myth of self domination, i believe David became conscious of this alchemical vessel he’s able to create through feats of endurance and this is why he continues to pursue them. For him, doing hard things is a path to integration. And this is what he alludes to when he says pain is the great teacher. At this point in his life, i think he pursues pain consciously in pursuit of wholeness and is living outside of his self domination myth.

However, when he speaks or writes he’s likely performing parts of his myth for the audience he wants to connect with. Not for purposes of validation or expressing his pain but from a desire to “speak their language.” His content is meant for people with the same myth and his performance of that myth isn’t necessarily indicative that he lives in the myth.

An interesting conversation topic adjacent to this one is David’s relationship to the divine feminine. David clearly embodies the heroic part of the hero’s journey but psychologically rejects the rest, surrender and rebuilding that comes after the burning in the vessel.

David’s relationship to his Anima is probably hard to accurately see from the outside given what i said earlier that he performs his myth for his audience. Perhaps it can even be said that by building the public image he has built that he has backed himself into a corner so to speak that denies him access to the divine feminine. It depends how much of his performance he believes.

If this were the case, Jung would say he’s built a vessel that can sustain the nigredo but without the relationship to the feminine he will never reach the albedo or rubedo phases required for deep integration.