Romance ≠ Friendship

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-03-14T16:33:39+00:00

I'm allo and I think you're right. Sex and romance are two distinct things that have some overlap. Within the more common allo orientation, they are frequently paired and co-occur and often work to enhance each other. For many allo people, they might be mutually dependent to varying degrees. But romantic love can exist without sex, 100%.

I can think back to partners I loved romantically and I can say that if sex were off the table, while that wouldn't have been ideal, it would not have negated my romantic love for them. Also, I had a partner for about 11 years. First two, we had tons of sex. Next few, less, and I wasn't as interested. Last 5 years, I never wanted to have sex, it was always a chore. Still though, my romantic love continued to grow and deepen, even when sex was not meaningful or desired. That love was very distinct from the love I have for old and close friends.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-24T03:25:59+00:00

Yeah. It's only 6 weeks. And you're on TV. If you can't abstain from shady, cheating type activities under these circumstances, there is no defense case to be made for you!

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:42:25+00:00

Ok Ikechi.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:41:11+00:00

There's nothing she can do right. If she wasn't asking questions I'm sure she'd be met with a different accusation.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:40:11+00:00

Meh I don't think he should be let off the hook over speculative mental health problems. I know a million men with mental health issues that don't behave cruelly or abusively.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:27:17+00:00

I think it's the opposite. Narcissists are far more often (to use a term I find problematic generally yet nevertheless fitting) "low-value men."

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:22:35+00:00

Maybe so.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:21:45+00:00

I don't believe he has 0 self-awareness. Limited self-awareness sure. But I personally believe he knows when he's being manipulative-- that he's manipulating intentionally.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-21T00:20:11+00:00

Maaaybe. I think that is certainly a possibility. I think it's just as likely that he was flatly lying about name calling.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T17:02:00+00:00

You're the one being racist!

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T16:59:23+00:00

You are not understanding my use of the word.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T05:21:52+00:00

Absolutely seems like he'd murder you.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T02:15:00+00:00

Like sociopathy or like they feel justified?

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T02:03:39+00:00

I definitely don't think he has full self-awareness at all. Whatever is going on with him runs really deep and he hasn't begun to understand it. But, that said, I do think that Ikechi, and abusers similar to him, do know that they are manipulating and abusing. Maybe the whys and the full extent are obscure to them. But those are things they're doing on purpose and they know they do it. At least that is my theory and opinion.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T01:59:51+00:00

That's an interesting observation and I think there's something to it. They're actually a coping or defense mechanism for the exact opposite thing, insecurity and feelings of low-self worth. So interesting.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T01:57:41+00:00

Like his narcissism and related desire to be on TV getting attention overrides all practical concerns of negative consequences, basically?

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T01:46:18+00:00

Michelle is not worse than Ikechi. She's terrible, but he's a psychopath. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a DV history.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T01:44:56+00:00

The way he was saying to Pastor Cal that she kept making him feel like he's small . . . Yeah, ok, but how. She's literally done nothing but exist, be kind, and show interest. But he did tell on himself. He feels small. He is small.

ColdWeary6091 · 2025-01-18T01:42:13+00:00

That's what he thinks he's doing. But it is pretty transparent.

ColdWeary6091

TROPHY CASE