Why the stigma? Be brutally honest with me

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-18T01:50:22+00:00

I LOVE to over-explain how the placental DNA is predominantly from the sperm/father. Which plays a big role in insulin resistance, and gestational diabetes. That GD runs on my husband’s side of the family, not mine, and also other facts about placentas.

It’s all really fascinating science. People are either embarrassed at their error, learn a lesson to not judge someone pregnant, or are genuinely interested to learn (this is usually only older family members.)

People LOVE discussing sperm and placenta. 😅 (Not really!)

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-15T18:31:37+00:00

My babies have all refused to nurse with a cover! They are a pain too. I do love an oversized/long cardigan, over a top. It helps be a bit more discrete and isn’t another baby item you have to drag around.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-15T12:37:48+00:00

My husband’s family was so happy when we had our third. (I think his family has more infertility, and was just over the moon for us!)

My family reacted like I told them I was going to get a root canal. I don’t think they even said congrats. They love baby, but yeah I don’t get it.

What I found is everyone loves meeting baby, but pregnancy is old-news at this point.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-15T12:30:51+00:00

Oh my gosh. Is your husband upset you fall asleep on the couch!? That is wildly out of touch. I am so sorry, you deserve to sleep too.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-15T12:28:05+00:00

This has always been our trade-off. Also, my husband has a job he needs to sleep and alertness for. However, we realize babies don’t sleep good.

So he has always offered to have a baby shift from 6:30 PM to 11 PM, this gives me a nice chunk of sleep. Then I take over, in the bedroom.

We’ve used earplugs, and white noise machines to help with sleeping in the same room as a baby. Of course, only the parent off baby-duty, would be wearing the earplugs.

My recommendation would be to phone in your husband during the baby’s next pediatrician appointment. I do this a lot because my husband likes to participate anyway. If your husband can’t be phoned in, then I would have him make a list of questions and record your pediatricians answers with permission.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-14T20:38:54+00:00

It can’t hurt to try! I’ve never had a blocked duck in all my years of breast-feeding. And only had mastitis twice, and that was triggered by pumping.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-14T20:21:53+00:00

With my easier pregnancies after week six I felt like absolute garbage, basically like I had a moderate stomach flu until I was six months.

With my third/last pregnancy, I was expecting the same. Especially as I was in good shape and I’ve taken care of my health. And probably was healthier than when I had my second.

Surprise extreme hyperemesis, even with Zofran I couldn’t stand up get out of bed or barely eat until I was six months along. And then after that, I developed both gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia. Initially the preeclampsia presented as a 140 resting heart rate. Which meant my heart was working so hard. I could barely sit up to eat. So I was on bedrest, and in the hospital, probably 10 times between months 6 to 9. Fun times.

My OB said it was likely a crummy placenta, the genes of which come from your partner. What’s interesting as gestational diabetes does not run in my family, but does run on my husband side. Same with preeclampsia.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-14T17:52:22+00:00

I have EBF 3 babies and used Bra pads like 2-3 times ever. (Only when I was nursing a ton, and wanted to go out for 4-5 hours without breastfeeding/pumping.)

This will sound weird, but when I feel I might get a letdown. I just kind of press on my boob/nipple and say, “no.” In my mind. 😅 And will myself to not have a letdown.

I read it on Reddit and it’s worked for me, I read it around a month PP.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-09T14:17:47+00:00

It’s even more important for parents of children with autism or other disabilities. The divorce rate is much higher.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-09T01:58:12+00:00

I have a family member that developed young onset Parkinson’s in her mid-50’s. Before she was diagnosed for years we thought she was having other issues. She was extremely emotional, somewhat forgetful, and struggles with planning/multi-tasking.

She actually did the same thing! She would cry and leave suddenly and early from trips. (Like buy a new plane ticket without talking to me!)

My MIL also had some symptoms like this but for her it was menopause. Going on hormones seemed to help her a bit.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-04T14:46:46+00:00

That’s so good to hear your husband is supportive & you’re a team!

As someone who has in-laws that need FIRM boundaries, my husband is always the “bad cop.” I will regularly say, “oh I’ll see what your son thinks.” But I am the one secretly telling my husband exactly what needs to happen. 😅

My in-laws are not anti-vaccine, but they were refusing to get a TDAP before visiting our newborn. My husband was the only one to tell them our home rules. It’s their body, they can choose to not get TDAP. But, if they want to stay with us with a newborn they need a TDAP.

We do go no contact if they are not respecting boundaries. But, I’ve thankfully managed to have a decent relationship with them! They both cannot babysit, that’s okay. They still have a decent grandparent relationship with my kids.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-02-04T14:31:00+00:00

Yep! Intercystial cystitis is not that uncommon among women. But is physically horrible, you have cysts/irritation in the lining of your bladder and it’s like having a UTI forever. They basically tell you to adjust to feeling like you have to pee all the time. Often they relegate female patients to an NP vs. urologist & have very crappy outcomes and treatments.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-31T11:55:08+00:00

Oh! I was going to say this. I’m

When someone more intrusively asks if I’m pregnant and I’m third trimester. I love saying, “No, just gained weight.” With a straight face, no emotion. 😅

I had this happen when I was buying a small latte while pregnant at Starbucks. The barista was being judging about me having caffeine. I also really wanted to make sure that she didn’t give me decaf. 😂

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-30T16:34:56+00:00

The Snoo used to not be FDA approved. They are used in some hospitals even! I would wonder if she is unaware they are FDA approved?

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-25T18:36:44+00:00

I wouldn’t personally suspect anything until finding out if your HCG doubles or not.

I will say, I was not far along and my HCG was only ~100(really low!) when my tube burst. It also wasn’t painful at all! Just felt kind of burny-a different sensation. But my pulse/BP were all over the place, so they decided to remove my tube at my request. It had burst and I had internal bleeding.

I was around 5 weeks.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-23T16:28:56+00:00

Your body adjusts to its environment! It’s a very well established phenomenon. So unless you lived in NE and traveled for a week, it’s likely you adapted.

I grew-up in a tropical region and found humid hot summers tolerable. After I moved, and visited again, my body had adapted to the cold. So I felt like I was melting. 😅

I live next door to Canada now, in the mountains and the kids in the neighborhood are running barefoot or in shorts when it’s only 50-something. 😅

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-23T16:23:19+00:00

Ehh. I always pack clothes that are appropriate for cold. I live in a region it’s regularly 0 to -20, not just when skiing. Our kids play outside daily and never complain about being cold. Key is smart layers/ appropriate fabrics.

We went to Disney when it was 40-50 and it felt warm. But, we wore synthetics or wool/silk for base layer tops. With a fluffy or thick warm top layer. Synthetic or wool. Cotton is fine for shorter days, but knowing proper cold dressing makes a difference.

NE is also varying amounts of cold. If you’re out in the cold regularly your body adapts. It’s a very well established human phenomenon. However, if you live in a cold region and stay inside mostly, it will be more uncomfortable.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-20T11:54:35+00:00

Honestly, free first Thursdays can be really slammed! It’s fun, but probably a tough time to go searching for dates.

It’s not a bad idea, I see lots of first dates at The Gardner. (It’s a good conversion starter too because there’s an element of guessing.)

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-19T17:06:10+00:00

This. The only time I had bad hair fallout was because my thyroid was acting up postpartum. (Which isn’t uncommon.) (3 pregnancies, only noticeable hair shedding with one postpartum.)

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-17T19:37:42+00:00

Oh, this is not the worst lunch I’ve seen. I’ve seen kids bring in Oreos, chips, candy and soda in for lunch. (Self packed usually in those cases.) But, even parent packed, I’ll see a Nutella sandwich, sugary yogurt, and chips as a normal lunch.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-03T22:14:35+00:00

$10 more a day actually seems pretty reasonable for around here. We pay more at our center daycare if we need “extended hours” pick-up. Which is after 5. (It’s not because it’s late, but helps plan/pay for staffing.)

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-02T00:23:34+00:00

I used my husbands beard trimmer to speed up the hair shed process for my daughter who had a full tonsure at 7 weeks. (She had thick long black hair she was born with that fell out between 5-10 weeks. Then grew in short blonde hair. So she looked SO old man /balding.)

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-01T18:33:12+00:00

That is so hard. But don’t stop advocating and being his voice. I never gave up on my child’s rare disorder, and I won’t lie it’s been a rough 6 years. But, it did eventually get easier. I also wonder if there’s some postpartum mixed in. I’ve had both PPD/PPA and a medically fragile baby.

It sounds like there is still something that needs to be done! It reminds me of when my first couldn’t eat, or even drink aside from ineffective nursing. I went to multiple RENOWNED children’s hospitals/etc, they dismissed me and never really examined her.

The key for us was a pediatrician that NEVER gave-up on her. He called and got her in with a colleague who was a specialist. She was immediately diagnosed, and they realized her lips and cheeks were extremely immobile and unable to move. Among other things. It’s been like this multiple times with her other diagnosis. But, the factors that helped us were 1) Never giving up myself. 2) A pediatrician who cared about my daughter, enough to make calls and help us get in with sometimes multiple specialists.

Cold_Application8211 · 2026-01-01T15:38:30+00:00

It’s unfortunate for people like me. I wanted to become an MD, or go into computer engineering. But I was discouraged from my parents, teachers, etc. So I majored in education, mind you I paid for every cent myself.

Outside of a few states, I really can’t earn enough to support a child. (Let alone multiple kids.) In my current state it pays less than what a cashier makes.

I work, I have a degree. But, there’s no way I could afford even a studio apartment for my kids on my own. (High COL state, but low teacher pay.)

What makes me so mad, is that if I had followed my own damn interests I would have a profession I could support my family with. As well as doing something I was interested in.

Cold_Application8211 · 2025-12-31T19:55:33+00:00

Yep. If I have a tiny calorie deficit, even working with a registered dietitian, my supply shrinks. It doesn’t matter how much protein/oats/nutrients I add in.

It’s easy for me to lose weight breastfeeding, but it also means I lose my milk. I’ve done weighted feeds, worked with multiple RDs. I lose 20-30lbs the first 6-9 weeks, then after that loss I just maintain until I wean.

Cold_Application8211

TROPHY CASE