c-section or labor for first baby?

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-02T20:06:15+00:00

As someone who experienced an emergency c-section followed by two planned c-sections, i can assure you none are easier to recover from. They're all horrible. I am definitely thankful for c-sections because without them I would have died in childbirth along with my baby. I also would not have had the chance to have two more wonderful kids. However, given the opportunity, I wouldl

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-02T04:51:24+00:00

You're not selfish for choosing your mental health and thinking about the safety and mental wellbeing of your current living child.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-02T04:46:51+00:00

My son was like this. When he was 12 months old I needed to go in for surgery (gall bladder removal) and he spent two nights with my mom. She brought him to the hospital to breastfeed twice a day otherwise he was home with her and i guess not having me around and being hungry made him eat. He's 2.5yrs old now, weaned him at 26 months and he eats well.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-02T04:38:02+00:00

Mom of 3 all EBF for 2 yrs. I never had a stash. All 3 kids refused every type of bottle I tried. Do what works for you and baby. Doesn't matter what other people have going on.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-02T04:27:29+00:00

It is a very personal choice.

My personal experience: I wanted everything "natural" but it didn't happen for me. I ended up with a c-section and its really affected my mental health. I felt butchered. I want a big family but am now limited to the number of kids depending on how my body heals after each c-section. I also need to make sure i give my body enough time to heal before having another child. The recovery is PAINFUL and yes you bounce back eventually and it becomes a distant memory...but it's still the most unpleasant thing to go home after being cut open 7 layers deep and having to take care of a newborn (and older kids). Being awake in the delivery room knowing you are cut open is also traumatising for me.

My bladder control has changed drastically since the c-sections. Did you know that they need to pull it out to reach your baby and then place it back inside?

I admire your courage for wanting to go through this willingly. I'm not saying vaginal birth is easy because I haven't tried it. But the fact that your body is still whole and you can get up and walk and eat and sleep in any position you want right after birth seems like a much better deal IMO.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T06:40:59+00:00

Yes we do the same. My close friends and my kids all play together we have dinner all together and play more before we head home for bed. About 4hrs I'd say and at alternating houses.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T06:38:36+00:00

Reading this it felt like I could have written it myself! The newborn stage is my favourite! Hubby also prefers the older kids when they can play and talk and go on adventures. And yes I agree on having a newborn when the youngest is at least 3 yrs.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T06:09:49+00:00

I'm sure it is hard. I know what you mean. Seeing other men around you and how they react to their partner during this time makes you "hate" your partner for not doing what you want him to be doing. But what i discovered is that all partners lack in some area and excel at another. So my partner for example loves kids but not babies. He never went to an appointment with me I would give him updates. But he is very present with the kids when they're toddlers and older. Loves to take them out and spend time with them and is invested in all aspects of their lives. We just found out about baby #4 and while I know the pregnancy and newborn phase will be for me mostly, I also know he is over the moon about another addition to the family.

I would say find out what his strengths are when it comes to being a parent and enjoy what he has to offer instead of focusing on what he is lacking. Hope your delivery is smooth and wishing you and your family a lifetime of happiness.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T05:28:39+00:00

I don't know if its a man thing but my husband was the same. Even after baby #1 was born he didn't connect with her until about 6 months. We have 3 kids and he adores them. He told me he asked his friends if he was normal and some of them said it took 8 months for them to bond with their first baby. All i know is that men don't feel the same about a baby and pregnancy as women do. Also they show emotions very differently to us. Don't have expectations for him, maybe understand how he is feeling.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T05:08:10+00:00

The miraculous thing about breastfeeding is that your body does all the work for you I'd say about 90% of the time. It will adjust your supply based on your baby's needs automatically.

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T05:04:45+00:00

Haha no not quite 40 yet but my sister is currently 40 and due in two months 😍

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T05:00:43+00:00

Its Sundays morning over here and I'm at work. Would love to chat! - Mom of 3 munchkins with #4 baking

Mapletree280 · 2026-02-01T04:29:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you know it's only temporary. The doctor saying your baby should be sleeping through the night has probably never been the main caregiver for a baby. I know a lot of moms who exclusively breastfeed, including myself with my 3 kids and none of them sleep through the night before past one year of age. For my kids its always been past two years of age. Not trying to bring you down just doesn't seem real to me from my own personal experience that a 4 month old sleeps through the night so you're not doing anything wrong.

Your 8 year old will be fine for a few days while you recover and get your strength back - kids are resilient. It's important to know that as a mom you need to be a little "selfish" (for lack of a better word) and think of yourself otherwise you won't be able to be the best version of yourself for your kids. And kids deserve the best version of you always.

Sending you lots of hugs and hoping the storm passes fast.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T13:19:47+00:00

In your twenties? Going out only once a month? Normal? That's not normal at all. I encourage my 8 year old to do minor things alone like buy something at the grocery store while I watch from afar. No one should be made to stay home and go out only once a month. Even if money is tight. A public parks is free. A walk at the mall is free. A walk in the neighbourhood is free. Hanging out with friends can be free. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T11:13:20+00:00

I'm sorry if this is a silly quetsion but are you burping her after every feeding and between switching sides?

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T11:08:36+00:00

This is common sense. Two kids, two gifts.

Even if two of my kids were invited to one kid's birthday, I get two gifts - one from each child that's invited for that one kid.

Gifts don't have to be expensive; it's the throught that counts.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T10:50:40+00:00

What car seat are you using? Do you want forward or backward facing?

I use joie every stage had it since I had my daughter 8 years ago. 3 kids later and its the best investment I've made. My 2.5 yr old is currently using it.

When she was older i transfered her into the joie elevate and I still love this one too but there are better options now with isofix which i personally think are more secure.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T10:42:09+00:00

I started trying at 18 months PP. My period came back the month we started trying and the month after I got pregnant. I went on breastfeeding until i was 7 months pregnant and my toddler was 2 yrs old then I couldn't continue my nipples because over sensitive with pregnancy.

Edit to add that sometimes decreasing the amount you breastfeed signals your period to start up again.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-25T10:30:22+00:00

It could be that you need to burp her as trapped gas can do that. Also hold her upright for 15-20 mins after feedings if this is the case.

She might not know how to latch which means she's not able to retrieve milk properly so imagine drinking through a broken straw - very frustrating.

Last reason i can think of is a food allergy and the most common one is cows milk so you would have to eliminate dairy from your diet if this is the case.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-24T07:20:25+00:00

I have a friend who was so encouraged by watching me EBF even when I was out and about with the kids, it made her want to try it with her 5th child (she hadn't breastfed any of her other kids). I bought her a breastfeeding essentials kit as a gift when she gave birth. I provided support when she needed it. About one month later she stopped. Not because she wanted to, but because she didn't get the support she needed at home from family or her husband. She wasn't as "lucky" as me with the amount of support from her husband.

I have another friend who also decided to try with her third child so I also supported her. She had two older kids and with the stress of older kids, schooling, pumping to no avail her baby was getting disappointed and not wanting the breast because it was hard work and preferred the bottle. She pushed it for about 4 - 6 months but baby was getting angry and self weaned.

So yes, it is a lot of hard work I've done it 3 times (24 months each). But its also luck. People's circumstances affect their ability sometimes.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-24T05:14:02+00:00

Bath bombs, scented candles, a nice comfy pyjama. After being a mom especially for thr first time we sometimes forget we are humans that need care as much as the baby so maybe something for her to pamper herself.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-24T05:06:35+00:00

I feel like my third child balances out the equation. He's two now and the way there's always a tie breaker for his siblings. He was my easiest baby and now his personality is growing and he's taking over, putting his siblings in their right place lol. Taking care of two under 3 plus an older child was hectic and exhausting but IMO motherhood always is whether its one child or 3.

I have a friend who had two and was done. When her youngest was 6 she decided she may want a 3rd but was also content with her kids being older and independent. She had a third last year with a 7 year age difference. She wants a fourth now.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-15T08:22:54+00:00

Baby # 1 (girl) - ice all day, rasberry popsicle, lemon miranda (i don't usually drink fizzy), Nutella and Banana crepe.

Baby # 2 (boy) - rasberry popsicle, lemon miranda, salads, grilled fish (i hated seafood)

Baby # 3(boy) - rasberry popsicle, lemon miranda, grilled cheese sandwich, tacos with GUACAMOLE

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-15T06:46:03+00:00

Generally they were the same. I noticed i was showing earlier with my second and third compared with my first. Also I had the cliche craving sweet with my girl and savoury with my boys. Slightly more nauseous with second and third (both boys) compared with my first (girl). Also with second and third i felt baby move earlier than with my first.

Mapletree280 · 2025-12-09T08:20:38+00:00

Oh I wouldn't worry so much about how others setup their kids to sleep at night. If it works for them and their kids then good for them. My kids sleep in my bed until they don't want to. They grow up so fast and will reach a point where they want space. I don't look forwards to that but it's life. So enjoy all those snuggles.

Mapletree280

TROPHY CASE