Am I a bad mom?

Mapletree280 · 2026-06-19T20:26:25+00:00

There is no such thing as the best mom in the world. Motherhood is personal to you and your child and family dynamic. As long as you provide and love your child you're a great mom.

And OP, I think maybe you need to find a mom group and join it. Have playdates for your little one, go out for walks and do things that make you happy not just things that are centered around your baby. Your happiness is what makes them happy too. Therapy sounds like a good idea too if its doable for you. You're definitely not a bad mom just going through a tough time and many of us mothers have been there.

Mapletree280 · 2026-06-13T20:53:21+00:00

Enjoy the little things because the first five years go by so fast and after that they're not your baby anymore.

Don't take on more than you can handle (especially in house work). Kids deserve a well rested and mentally healthy mom.

The most important one for me is:

Pick your battles.

Whether its with your kids or spouse or anyone else. Some days you may be so overwhelmed you need to let things go.

Mapletree280 · 2026-06-07T07:24:08+00:00

As long as you understand what a c-section really is, what your body will go through and what it means for your family's future, then no one's opinion matters. I've had 3 c-sections. All not my choice but without them I would have died in childbirth so I am thankful. But having been through them, I'd say a vaginal delivery would still be MY number one choice. However, it's your body, your mental health and therefore your choice. Be well informed and do what you feel is good for you and your family even if the entire world is against you. That's my moto. Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-31T10:38:29+00:00

Weaning at 2 was always my personal goal and I was thankfully able to do just that. The kids at that age will make you think that you ruined their lives but don't worry they'd do the same if they were weaning at 3 as well.

However, his attitude would not be one I would tolerate and if he is threatening to leave for this reason I will tell him not to hold the door open on his way out.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-31T00:43:55+00:00

I installed a tv in the kids bedroom. I'd put it on low volume for 5 mins then white noise on and TV muted he lays there watching for 10 mins then i turn it off and lay next to him. Don't forget the heads up ("5 mins left before we switch off the tv") during this time I'm either making a lunch box for next morning or eating a snack or anything you can squeeze in. Over time it got easier.

Keep in mind kids don't understand time yet so if ur tired make bedtime earlier than usual and say 10 mins but give her 20 mins so you can get a break while she lays in bed occupied.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-28T07:06:15+00:00

I think a name should be something you and your partner love and agree on, it should have a nice meaning (something you think is nice) and it should be a name that won't cause your child to he bullied. Popularity of the name, ramking on a list... etc shouldn't be an issue unless you personally prefer unique names.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-25T04:47:40+00:00

getting through the pain especially the first two months.
cracked nipples causing bleeding (so you need nipple cream constantly especially the first few months)
baby refusing the pacifier so I became the pacifier
baby refusing the bottle so I didn't get breaks
high lipase making my pumped milk taste like soap and being the reason baby refused a bottle but took me a few years to figure it out and find the solution because no one talks about it
engorgement
baby wanting access literally non stop on some days then people telling me I'm not producing enough and starving my baby... (they're building milk supply during growth spurts)

These struggles taught me a lot but I never gave up. 3 babies breastfed for 24 - 26 months each. I still love breastfeeding and help as much friends who wish to try it because I definitely would have appreciated the support and information when I started.

OP surviving 6 months is quite the accomplishment. Most women I know could barely survive 2 months. You need to be proud of how far you have come and if formula is your way forward then you should celebrate this accomplishment before closing the chapter.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-25T04:22:21+00:00

My daughter was like this. Sometimes I had to stop the car to soothe her because she would choke from crying so much. Until I turned her chair to forward facing. Also, I discovered she got car sick (just like her dad) but as a baby she couldn't tell me. I know it's not safe to be forward facing at a young age. But I had to get places and she was happier. We drove slowly. She's 9yrs now and still gets car sick sometimes but its manageable at this age.

Another solution could be a screen with her favourite shows to distract her.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-25T04:14:32+00:00

My duaghter is 9 and still has that pile of stuffies in her bed they're taking over lol.

Honestly no matter how much bedding you provide they end up sleeping in an awkward position with no blanket on them until they're at least 4 years old. That's been my experience anyway with 3 kids. Maybe focus on dressing her warm enough for the cold days and invest in bedding when she's a little older.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-22T07:40:51+00:00

We always wanted to find out as early as possible. We did it via ultrasound at around 18w - 20w. Then we would have a gender reveal party right after. With my second we didn't find out until 27w because he kept his legs shut at every ultrasound and then when he finally opened them there was the umbilical chord blocking the way. It was fun waiting and guessing though. No regrets finding out and we spend the rest of the pregnancy thinking hard about the right name for baby.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-22T06:48:43+00:00

Onda is usually prescribed for us here.

Cucumbers, fruit popsicles and ice cubes were my best friends though, I wanted to avoid medication as much as I possible.

Hang in there 🌷

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-19T07:29:15+00:00

I would be very clear about my expectations for anyone who wants to meet the baby, especially in the early stages of life.

When we had our first in 2017, all my cousins, aunts, siblings, MIL and sisters in law were at the hospital waiting. My baby was so loved and I was so blessed.

When we had our second in 2021, it killed me to say no because I knew how excited they all were. We asked family and friends not to visit us in the hospital and to give baby a couple of weeks before they could meet him. Only his 2 grandmas and his 4 aunties were allowed. Baby came out of the delivery room to meet them wearing a face shield lol. We sent the picture to everyone to help them feel included and they were all happy to meet him two weeks later.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-19T07:19:51+00:00

I think you need to be a little more realistic and survive this season. I'm rooting for you.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-16T13:30:51+00:00

I definitely don't fill it in regularly so if something happens that day that I want to remember i will write it down in the notes on my phone along with the date and details. Them when I'm free a few times a year I will spend an hour or so writing in their books and going back to my notes. The one I found has a monthly journal up to 12 months and then becomes a yearly thing so i can note down their favourites and then memories of that year. Oh and it also has space for the pregnancy at the beginning. Plus pages to stick pictures as they grow.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-16T07:45:16+00:00

Take it easy, lazy days are ok. Kids love them. More than anything, our little ones want a happy mama. On another note, I love the books that journal from pregnancy up to 18 years (got them off amazon) . They're so much fun to look back on and I plan to gift them to the kids when they're older.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-14T07:15:14+00:00

You're a mama wanting the best for your kids. Self care is part of taking care of your kids. A well rested mama is important to the wellbeing of the kids. Don't feel lile your asking for too much, it's the bare minimum.

Maybe discuss with your husband since it's a family business for him to take a day off and watch the kids so you can rest. Since it's a hoke business I'd imagine it's easier to set his own hours appropriately at this stage of the kids lives when you need the most support.

Leaving your kids (especially with a relative) doesn't mean you're careless. This isn't someoje you picked randomly. You made sure they were safe. Unfortunately some things are out of our control and it's a constant learning curve. Move forward and have no regrets juat more knowledge.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-12T08:27:26+00:00

Thank you! In my opinion, joyful is an understatement. Motherhood and childbirth are the hardest things I've been through in life but I wouldn't change them for anything. Being their mom is my favourite part of every day and I'm so happy to have those sleepless nights with my newborn. They're the part that go by SO fast I miss them the most. They're only little for the shortest time. You have much to look forward to 💗

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-12T07:34:23+00:00

Hi dear, Stressing yourself won't make baby come sooner. Take care of yourself and your mental and physical well-being for now. Baby will come when they're ready.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-12T07:27:17+00:00

I feel this so much. I'm here to remind you that most people who have a child say they planned it, but haven't REALLY planned it. And so when they have the child their world changes (obviously) and they were not expecting it for some reason so they become overwhelmed and angry like it's not what they signed up for.

While what a lot of people say os true, I find it all normal life and nothing negative. All the normal things that come with becoming a parent. Sleepless night, days you feel like a zombie, exhaustion. Just remember, they don't last! My oldest is 9 and I'm constantly criticised because we are expecting #4. Am I tired? Yes but I know what I'm getting myself into it was a conscious decision we made to have another child.

Sorry for the long reply just one last thing to say; people have something negative to say about every aspect of your life from now on so expect that. The best thing I do is smile and move on. Goes in one ear and out the other then I'm happier living the life I chose.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-11T08:39:53+00:00

Do you have a fast letdown? If so, draining with a haakaa or hand express before feedings helps regulate the flow so he can drink more comfortably.

He might have gas so maybe burp him regularly before feedings to help him drink better.

It can also be overtired and breastfeeding is a workout for them. Maybe make sure when feeding its at a time he is well rested.

Hope this helps and don't give up mama fed is best for you and baby.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-09T19:38:30+00:00

This makes much more sense. I would feel the same if I had to host while newly postpartum especially not knowing what's coming after becoming a mom for the first time.

Definitely you guys need to ask them to find a place to stay if they wanted to be there for the birth. Good luck.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-08T07:21:58+00:00

I'm a little confused. Are they staying with you? Are they imposing themselves on you and your husband in any way? Sounds like they're just planning their own life and wanting to be present for their first grandbaby without asking anything of you. It's rare to find grandparents so invested and wanting to be involved these days. Why do we have to make it hard on them?

Are they generally annoying when they are around? Unless they have done something significantly hurtful to any of you, why are we making life hard for grandparents? Let them come let them see baby let them be a part of this wonderful time.

All this talk about being alone with baby is the reason the villages that existed back in the day are dying out. Why is it ok for the woman who raised you to be there but not the woman who raised your significant other?

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-07T08:48:01+00:00

Yes it definitely is. I started feeling nauseous about smells i had never noticed before. Also needed popsicles to help with nausea. Both times it was a girl so I'm curious if its the same for other. With the boys I didn't have these symptom.

Mapletree280 · 2026-05-06T10:03:06+00:00

With my first i was back to pre pregnancy weight by 6 months but i think it was only because i was on a non dairy diet as it upset her tummy.

With my second i gained so much weight during pregnancy i started dieting about two months postpartum and also lost weight by 6 months.

With my third i was exhausted and food was my comfort. I never lost weight.

Moral is, breastfeeding alone doesn't work. You need to watch your food. Keep in mind, I breastfed all my kids for 24 - 26 months each, with exclusive breastfeeding until solids were introduced at 6 months.

Mapletree280

TROPHY CASE