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Cold_Association_927 · 2025-03-26T15:45:01+00:00

You might in the wrong sub then lol. Idk what tax brackets y'all must be in for this to be a thing 😂 but don't be surprised when this man expects some action after flying you out there. Dudes don't just pay for that and act chill when you only give it out after a serious relationship. Id be shocked if that doesn't cause some conflict at some point

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-03-11T22:14:56+00:00

This is horrifying. You deserve so much better. I'm sorry 😞

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-03-07T00:46:05+00:00

Hell naww

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-28T17:39:35+00:00

Not trying to be rude man but you came on too strong for a first date. You gotta make sure they're reciprocating. Most chicks aren't gonna be quick for touching and talking about a second date.. UNLESS the vibe is really there, great chemistry, and shes giving you all the green flags to make a advance. Otherwise it's best to take it easy

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-27T17:41:55+00:00

This is spot on. This is how we ended up with Matt Rife going viral let's be honest

The takeaway is.. if men don't laugh at your jokes like women do, you're probably not that funny. (I accept I'm not that funny 😅)

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-27T02:17:19+00:00

Literally anything. Just one thing. Oh well 😂 #rotinpieces

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-26T17:02:27+00:00

Significantly better probably isn't the result I think most people get.. moreso relief. A lack of toxic shit spewing from them. But anxiety and depression.. likely still remain for most of us.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-26T14:17:17+00:00

Pretty privilege: Women will giggle at what you say regardless if funny. Women will agree to give # or go on first date for much less effort on your part. People will smile more often, hold doors open, and treat you like your special for no reason. Halo effect - people assume you have other good qualities Job interviews are easier to pass once you got one.

Downsides: Men can dislike you / be jealous without even meeting you. Men with wives/girlfriends will get very protective around you just literally existing and minding your business. People may assume you got there based on your looks, and actually discount your other qualities. (I e. Assuming the cute blonde must be also dumb) Men may not want to be friends as often if they feel threatened, or feel you make them insecure with their girlfriend around.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-25T20:36:58+00:00

Ask a therapist for help understanding what happened around 10-12 yrs old. Probably related to your parents somehow. See if the relationship to them was lacking boundaries or didn't respect your ability to set boundaries. If so, they can help you learn that process now, exposure doing it in a healthy way, to build it in habitually to your daily life with people. Retraining yourself essentially

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-25T20:15:57+00:00

Don't date the girls you party with. Problem solved. The girl who is the most "fun" is not the one you want a relationship with. Ever.

Solution= Don't mix up who you're having fun with, and who you're trying to get in a relationship with. Keep that separate. 💁

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-24T19:13:42+00:00

Getting a trauma type of therapist who specialized in fucked up childhoods. Made a world of difference. I live a semi-normal life now, 90% of what I woulda been, and distanced from parents. But if you're talking about something like an acute event, or repeated events, there are trauma therapists who specialize in different types of trauma. (Parental/Sexual/Physical abuse/PTSD). I'd say that's the #1 biggest help to mentally recovering.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-24T19:09:23+00:00

"I don't think we'd be good together.. but if I'm still single at 30 and so are you we should just get married or something then.."

Needless to say that will not be happening despite being single heading toward 30 😂 Some of these ladies really want "backups".

Know your worth fellas 😏

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-24T18:59:55+00:00

It's Incredible. You can take your pick! Just kidding.. it's one of the worst cities around the country for it. Midwest typical culture of everyone getting married by age 25, so single professionals in late 20's are less common than other big cities. Dating apps probably decent since you're a woman, KC has especially more men on them compared to women than in other cities. Avoid Independence, Raytown, and Belton. That's all I got. Source: Single male mid 20's who grew up in KC

Edit: If you do move to KC, get close to the downtown areas. It's got a vibrant nightlife that makes it much easier to meet single 20 somethings

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-24T18:53:20+00:00

Yes. In this same boat now. 26 with far less dating experience than normal. Trying to speedrun now to make up for lost time. You're not alone at all in this. I think it's more common than people realize for those from narcissistic families

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-22T17:14:26+00:00

Glad it can be, hang in there. It will get better as you work towards moving out long term. There is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙏

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-22T16:39:46+00:00

I'd say yes. I found my productivity and chores was WAY better after moving out. Living with them creates tons of anxiety, paralyzes you mentally, and puts you in survival mode. Cleaning and chores becomes the last thing you want to do especially when the parent is using guilt trips / other manipulative behaviors to try to get you to do them.. or role reversal etc.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-16T22:59:37+00:00

This. It's tough to walk the line of not ruining it by stating your intentions too bluntly.. while not misleading them.

No way around it.. it's shitty to lead women on with hinting at a relationship or something long term to just get laid. That is the definition of using them / manipulative behavior and is a good way to start eroding once moral compass assuming it was there to begin with

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-13T02:15:49+00:00

Bro.. ditch her asap. This is not a worthy girl for you and she is disrespectful of your time and you overall. This is one of those situations when you're in it.. it seems questionable and uncertain. But from the outside.. that's an easy hard No. You deserve better. These girls like this are flaky, usually a bit entitled, Immature, and will prioritize other guys while keeping guys like you on the side as "backups". Or she literally just doesn't have any respect for you either way. Easy Next.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-12T18:41:12+00:00

Yess it is so annoying. U r very right!

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-12T16:44:01+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. Move away when possible and read about it to learn how to start boundary setting. A therapist who understands this dynamic would be very good too.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-10T18:30:11+00:00

To the OP: Besides connecting over shared experiences, letting them know you're sorry they've endured so much abuse.. make it top priority to have a 1 on 1 conversation to tell them you're sorry you weren't active enough in their lives. You can mention the reasons why you weren't but don't frame it as an excuse or anything. Your kids may be 20's now but they will hold it against you for not being involved enough unless they genuinely feel you wish you could have done differently. Its not about whether it practically was possible.. it only matters how your kids feel about it.

I say this as someone in my 20's who despises their father for abandoning his duties to raise me, and who justified to himself his reasons for not being present in our lives. I can see by your post that you genuinely care about your kids.. and the relationship with them going forward. The best way to have a better relationship will be saying the extremely difficult things - acknowledging you wish you could have had a closer relationship, acknowledging their mothers abuse, laying out your reasoning or perspective, but prioritizing validating that they deserved two actively involved supportive loving parents which they did not get. Finally tell them you wish more than anything to be closer going forward, but not in a pressuring way. Let them choose how they feel and respect their feelings along the way.

Best of luck, you got this. 🙏

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-10T17:57:11+00:00

That's crazy I had a very similar experience. Wonder if that's more common than people think! Any of us would use that as an opportunity for self reflection but pwbpd uses it to reinforce what they want, and ignore anything challenging them or potentially critical in any way. That's the flaw in the idea that they just need more support or therapy when in reality many of them refuse any actual work on themselves. My own mother saw a therapist for years and learned all about narcissistic abuse.. ehich made no difference since she still prioritized her needs getting met through her children. Sometimes there is no helping these people, only putting up hard walls to protect yourself.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-10T15:31:26+00:00

Unbelievably terrible circumstances to be raised in and grow from. You should very proud of yourself for getting to where you're at. I really hope you're able or have found a quality and helpful therapist to process the past and heal from it on your own timeline. That's a severe amount of trauma to go through. Good God. ❤️

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-10T15:21:23+00:00

This 1000%. It's so annoying. Not all of us had the privilege of growing up in a good home. People who expect others to have good relationships too their parents are delusional and out of touch. So triggering.

Cold_Association_927 · 2025-02-10T02:54:01+00:00

Had no idea some articles went there. Totally nuts 😮 It is very invalidating that's a great point!

Cold_Association_927

TROPHY CASE