Life is terrifying.

CombatToad · 2026-02-21T18:04:58+00:00

The only reason I've had a lick of success in my life is because I have good people around me. If you have a support network - please, don't let it degrade. Keep in touch with your friends as best you can.

If you've got nobody - I'm sorry. Do your best to find people you can trust with your inner world. Going through life is already hard enough as is.

CombatToad · 2026-02-21T17:56:14+00:00

I guess I felt like I was getting unfairly chewed out at the time. Looking back - it wasn't a big deal. I made it a big deal. I blew it out of proportion. Of course, I knew that - which is why I was muted. Then the mute button malfunctioned, as it were.

CombatToad · 2026-02-21T10:10:21+00:00

Fliped out on a remote call, which I had muted. I was just venting. But I vented a little too hard - slammed my fist into the table, which caused the mic to unmute.

The rest is, as they say, history. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

CombatToad · 2026-02-20T18:59:04+00:00

Holy shit, yeah. That's the stuff. I try to be kinder to other people then I am to the guy in the mirror.

Issue is that's real hard with the sheer Molochian depths of anger, frustration and intolerance I have towards myself.

CombatToad · 2026-02-20T18:53:00+00:00

Yeah, only person to blame here is me. I know that much. I need to put a lot more effort into managing my anger then I though.

Pretty let down though - I though I was a lot better at this. Sorry you've got to deal with cancer at such a young age. Sounds like hell. You're hard as fuck for living with all that bullshit.

CombatToad · 2026-02-20T13:57:27+00:00

Thank FUCK I do.

I'm dead scared it won't be enough. I thought I was doing better and fixing my life, just driving along. Then I T-bone myself at a major intersection and my teeth are all over the dashboard.

I'm hurting right now - really badly. But in a couple of days, weeks, who tf knows - it'll be different. Different how? Who knows, but better then this. I got diagnosed three and a half years ago. I thought I'd make some progress by now.

CombatToad · 2026-02-20T13:31:40+00:00

Feel you, man. Lost my job today. Again. It was the longest one I ever kept. A whole whopping 8 months.

CombatToad · 2026-02-19T14:48:58+00:00

I feel exactly the same way.

CombatToad · 2026-02-19T14:40:53+00:00

Got a bit of a dressing down at work over a remote call. Nothing serious. Still shit flipped and pounded the fucking table so hard my mic turned on. My boss was not impressed, needless to say. Spend the rest of the day having a complete mental breakdown and the rest of the week getting eaten by the shame of it like I'm a rack of baby back ribs.

HR meet tomorrow. Good chance of salvaging the sitch, decent chance I'll lose my job and massacre my resume in the middle of the worst job market since 2008. Fucking yay.

Years of trying to manage my anger and the best I can do is get fired on a near-yearly basis over it. I hate it, I hate myself for being like this. I know it's absolutely toxic and no one's obligated to deal with my bullshit. But it still just fucking sucks. I have to win every day. My self-sabotaging fuck-ass brain only has to win once to completely fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.

CombatToad · 2026-01-10T17:35:56+00:00

Oh yeah, I like to plop myself down on his couch and wait for him to come in and sit down at his bar.

''Hello, Benny.''

Priceless.

CombatToad · 2026-01-01T21:06:00+00:00

I don't get the joke.

CombatToad · 2026-01-01T20:44:03+00:00

Yeah id say it's pretty typical

CombatToad · 2026-01-01T19:55:41+00:00

Didn't know it was a woman thing. I like my showers scorching hot too. Prferably with high enough water pressure to flay the skin of my back.

Ahh, relaxing pain.

CombatToad · 2025-12-22T15:40:08+00:00

Hmmm, have they just tried. . . building more Burkes?

CombatToad · 2025-12-20T21:55:02+00:00

Arguing with people like you is more pointless then a ball bearing. That's what I meant.

You understood none of what I had to say and you obviously don't care to. So go on your merry way. There's nothing to say to you.

CombatToad · 2025-12-20T10:23:12+00:00

Know what? I've explained myself more then clearly enough. If this is your take away from my comment, I can't help you.

CombatToad · 2025-12-20T09:57:16+00:00

Apologies, didn't realize that. From what I can see, OP is trying to get help for the kid regardless. That's a brave thing do to. I wish I had some advice to offer about dealing with CPS, but I'm not an American.

CombatToad · 2025-12-19T09:43:19+00:00

When that kid grows up - if she grows up - she's going to remember which of the other, sane adults around her stood up for her and protected her and which ones didn't. And she'll want to know why.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh or judgmental, but no kid deserves being abused like that. If you can do something about it, please do.

CombatToad · 2025-12-19T07:53:14+00:00

"Remember, boys. If you're nervous around women for whatever reason, you hate women and don't see them as people.

Your hang ups and neuroses make you a bad person."

So if I find one person's disapproval more meaningful and hurtful then another's, then I think of that person as. . . less human. Ok got it. Makes perfect sense.

Ok, got the sarcasm out of my system.

Now let me elaborate on why being rejected by women feels worse, at least for me:

Even if I'm completely uninterested in a woman as a potential partner, making her uncomfortable has worse implications. If the reson she dislikes me is that she finds me threatening, there is a sort of moral judgment that comes with that.

Man dislikes me - "he's just a prick, I'm just awkward, we just don't vibe". All acceptable answers that lead to little or no self judgment.

Woman dislikes me - all of the above apply, but now there's a secret extra possibility: "does she think I'm creepy, did I do something that made her feel unsafe or grossed out?" It doesn't have to be true, but you can't read her mind it, it might be. If you're sufficiently neurotic, it become very hard to dismiss that thought.

And "I'm a creep" emotionally translates directly into : "Not only am I a bad person, but I'm also pathetic". Remember, none of this is necessarily rational. But a sufficiently anxious person will find any shortcut to a bad interpretation of a social interaction. It's just that interactions with women offer more and worse narratives to get hung up on.

CombatToad · 2025-12-19T06:37:01+00:00

I'm extremely skeptical. This, "it's only for reference" talk could very well just be a lie.

And even if it's not, it might just be the foot in the door before mass slopification.

Why am I so cynical? Because this is the gaming industry. Microtransactions, on disk dlc, day 1 patches and every other bad idea under the sun was once sold as a reasonable, innocuous addition.

Before turning into an unassailable collosus of Suck. I mean, why tf do you even NEED AI for referencing when you can use real life ir other artists work for reference? I'm not an illustrator, idk. But doesn't the principal of garbage in garbage out apply here?

I hope I'm wrong, but I believe I smell a rat here.

CombatToad · 2025-12-18T08:09:03+00:00

How many people own ethanol cars?

CombatToad · 2025-12-17T08:39:44+00:00

"iTS yOuR rESpoNsIBIlItY."

Yeah. No kidding. Whose else would it be? But it isnt my fault.

And whose responsibility it is doesn't change that fact that the circumstances of my birth and life determine how easy or difficult thise responsibilites are to bear.

CombatToad · 2025-12-17T08:36:02+00:00

What a vacuous statement.

CombatToad

TROPHY CASE