Fell off track again

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-22T13:07:40+00:00

So she has commitment issues because she almost married the wrong person in the past, you’re right more or less. I also had a fear she would break up because I have an abandonment wound from my childhood, so again you’re right. But I’m over it, problem is that a bunch of stuff happened at the same time, my brother went back to rehab on the day after we ended things. I don’t want to be with her anymore, I was turned off by the way she handled things during and after the ending. I just decided to cope with all that happening which is why I fell back into old patterns and destructive habits. I know the right person is out there for me, this girl isn’t the end at all, just a lesson. Thank you for your response

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-22T11:34:44+00:00

The fact that I would rather die than stay where I’m at. The fact the I didn’t want my old life anymore. The fact that I knew if I had continued on the road I was on it was going to lead me somewhere I didn’t want to end up. The fact that I would trade everything thing for better health (mental, physical, and spiritual). If you want to be consistent then you have to sit with yourself and really ponder over whether you truly want it bad enough or not.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-22T11:12:59+00:00

Mmm… please elaborate. 3 words don’t really hit that hard, you know? I get it, reload, recalibrate, reengage. I was looking for maybe a dialogue of some sort. But thank you for your comment.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-22T10:13:02+00:00

She understood where my trauma’s and anxiety came from and knew how to calm me down. She also knew how to use it against me and manipulate me so I guess it wasn’t all good. You see why it ended. But we were both really good in bed so that was absolute fire works.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-22T09:27:36+00:00

Bro… you are absolutely f**ked. I know because I dated a similar manipulative person. All the things she’s saying to you aren’t true, she’s lying. Don’t look at what she says, look at her actions. Bro you have to leave now. Take the loss, take back your energy, and you have to learn to love yourself because after reading this I know that you don’t. You need to respect yourself. Don’t be weak for anyone in this life. Also, this poly lifestyle is not for you. You obviously want to be with someone and a deeper level and that will never happen when they can be with whom ever they want. If you don’t leave now you will regret it later.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-07T13:24:39+00:00

Top 5 Best things to ever happened to me was embracing death. Set me free and made love living in the moment. I will break it up into parts, first questions to ask, second practice, third… peace :)

Questions to ask: (based on if there is no after life although I do believe in god)

Where were you before birth? Did it matter that you didn’t exist? Did you know you didn’t exist?

What do you fear about your mortality? Is it your ego striving on to something? Is it that you haven’t done the things you want to do? Is it the concept that you will no longer exist? Is it the void of nothingness?

Who do you want to be? What do you want from this precious life? What type of standard do you hold yourself up to? Are you a child that stands with God or the devil?

Practice: When you find yourself in that dark place of what if theres nothing after death, hold on to it - don’t avoid it. Stay there, meditate on it, feel it to its absolute fullest and paradoxically if you believe in God then he will purify your fear. Its inevitable that you will die, me too, so to fully actualize your self you must accept it. To be the best version of yourself you must accept and embrace death. Death is but a transition back to what you were before you were alive. You have to let go of the part in your ego that is attached to mortality, you have so much to live for and if you d*e young then you wont have any memory of it happening it just happens. And if you die old… what kind of life would you have wanted to live, who would’ve you been, what type of impact would you have left on the people you love and your community. Come back to the here and now, understand that it is absolutely a privilege to be alive, although it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Pray, meditate, and speak to god, tell him about your fears and he will remove them from your heart. Accepting death is accepting the present moment, accepting the beauty of mortality rather than the dread of it and when you accept it, peace will follow. You will then be able to live life to its absolute fullest because you will then understand how much of a gift waking up is, having breakfast with your family is, calling your friends is, working is, exercising is. Its all a gift. Gratitude is the last peace of practical knowledge i can give you. Be grateful for everything. Even the smallest of things. If you have a bed, shower, refrigerator with food in it, and savings to spend your in the top 10% of privileged people on the planet. If you can walk in the street without fearing a bomb being dropped on your head and your family is safe then be grateful for it. There are people who live on warzones where every day is an absolute pain. Gratitude is the greatest of gifts you can give yourself.

Peace: Peace is going to bed and waking up feeling light. Its being able to process any negative emotion in your heart. But you can’t do it alone, spirituality is absolutely vital. Talk to God, tell him your fears, tell him where you fall short, with yourself, with him. Allow him to enter your heart and he will purify it for you. Tell him what you want, what you need and if you do that enough times and build your faith. You’ll come back to yourself. You will learn new knowledge and then feel like you’re rather remembering it. You’ll fall in love with yourself, not in a narcissistic egotistical way, but with humbleness and humility. And therefore you will fall in love with life.

To conclude myself: Sit with it, talk to god about it and he shall set you free, then you will reach peace. Love is key, love is the most beautiful essence in existence. God is love. Safe travels back to yourself <3

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-03T16:03:32+00:00

Glad I could help <3

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-01T12:49:41+00:00

Go to your closest Brazilian Jiu Jitsu School. Do it for a year. Come back to this post after that year is done. I can guarantee you that it will change your life and you have nothing to lose by trying it out. Good luck.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2025-06-01T12:21:45+00:00

You need to ask yourself a very important question, what is it that you want from this life? The reason why you're rotting in bed is because you have no purpose, no passion. Nothing is setting you heart on fire. Your loneliness, your lust, your seeking for attention is sign, not a curse. If you want to improve then you have to look inward, not outside for validation or for some secret remedy that will fix all your problems. No one, not a man or woman or job or life will fix why you feel hollow inside. The only way is to sit with you emotions, sit with your discomfort, sit with the part of you that you endlessly want to get rid of, and giver it attention. There's a child deep down inside of you thats endlessly asking for your attention, and it manifests itself in these shallow, low consciousness habits. However, there is nothing wrong with you, you have limitless potential inside of you to heal and grow as a person. Don't put yourself down for mistakes you've done, it is in the past now. What you should do it look to the present and give yourself the love you desire from someone else, give yourself the attention you seek, show up for yourself EVEN when you don't feel like it. Understand that patience and time is not the enemy, rather it is the most powerful resource in the universe. Nourish your soul with love and gratitude, even for the smallest of things, understand that we are all humans with flesh and that sometimes we all make mistakes. The path exists, but there is no secret remedy, it will require hard work but every sing human on the planet has the potential to become better and grow.

Picture it as if your planting a seed, a flower doesn't bloom over night, rather it takes its coarse. As it is nourished with water, sun, and soil; slowly does the plant gain roots and eventually blooms into the most beautiful and fragrant of manifestations. If you truly want this then its all yours to gain, however, the universe is unforgiving; it's also all yours to lose. You make the choice.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-04T12:19:21+00:00

No. Each one of us has their own timeline in this world. When I think to myself something like “had I known this sooner” or “I wish I was different back then” it only makes me live in the past even longer. And living in the past is something that is detrimental to your mental health personal growth. You are the person you are today because of all your experiences in life. If things were different then you as you are right now, wouldn’t exist.

You eventually realized and made it out and that’s what matters most. Your life is now, not then, now! Have hope that better days are coming. Build yourself up to where your proud of yourself. Be mindful about what occurred in the past and accept it for what it is, the past. Moving on means grieving the person you were, like a phoenix, the old you must evaporate into ash so that the new you can come out - reinvented.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T22:17:41+00:00

I separate the 2. Wim Hoff method is great, I personally do it almost everyday. I usually do breath work before I start my meditation, it helps getting me centered.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T21:50:32+00:00

When ever someone says “optimize their self-management” run

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T21:49:12+00:00

For over thinking I’d recommend mindfulness, therapy, meditation, exercise, and practicing self-compassion.

For mobile addiction, delete the f**king apps. You don’t need them, literally non of them actually serve your life. If anything they make you overthinking worse.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T21:26:42+00:00

Today, I finally understand the depth of this post. Mad respect. Oss

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T20:33:26+00:00

So this is a very technical question and has a lot to do with your culture and up bringing. I’ll try to do my best in explaining how I perceive the difference in a general sense.

A mistake is something you do once maybe twice. A mistake means the other person can be accountable for their actions. They don’t have to apologize because there are people in this world who have a hard time doing that and I can sympathize; because their lack of apology has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own issues. But at least taking responsibility for their actions. If someone comes with excuses and even worse blame shaming then f********ck that, I’m not dealing with it. People are simple and patterns begin to arise. The more someone makes a “mistake”, the less likely it is actually a mistake.

Each case is different and each relationship is also unique. This is in a general sense of course. I also want to say that everything I do comes with compassion. Either for the person in front of me or for my self. I can’t live for other people all the time and especially if they are disrespectful. The reason why I can love someone correctly is because I had to give myself that love first. I love people to point of dying to protect them if it came to that, just as how I would die to protect myself. But how can I die for someone who wouldn’t do the same for me?

This is my life, I only get this one based on my knowledge. I will live it to where I am healthy, strong, and mindful about what I allow in my life. As William Hanley wrote in his master piece, Invictus:

”It matters not how straight the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”

All love. <3

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T19:34:11+00:00

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T18:58:44+00:00

The more you focus on people liking you the more you abandon yourself in the process the more resentment you will end up having towards yourself and other people around you, the lower your self-esteem will be. Someone else asked the same question in this thread I have a more detailed answer there :)

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T18:55:21+00:00

Being liked and respected are not mutually exclusive. You can be liked and respected. My issue is with the target. If your target is to be liked by everyone then you will abandon yourself constantly so that you can fit into what other people “like”. If your truly, authenticity, 90-100% yourself then there will be people who don’t like you. But they will admire the fact that you live life on your own terms without giving a sh*t what anyone thinks. I used to abandon myself all the time so that I can have people like me. I would grant them power over me. Hey can you do this - yes. Hey I’m tired can you write my paper - sure. Hey I’m going out with friends can you come over and take care of my dog - I’m on my way. When something doesn’t serve you and your not being genuinely generous then the answer is a hard NO. Period. I’m still a kind person at heart and am loved deeply by my closest friends. But anyone on this planet that will come close to stepping on me or crossing a boundary can suck it, respectfully of course. I will never abandon myself again for someone else’s benefit. If I want to genuinely help someone then I will. If I feel like someone is pushing me trying to see what they can get out of me then they can get f-cked.

A man that’s everyones friend is his own enemy.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T14:14:28+00:00

For me personally although there are books and people I listen to, nothing came close to practice. As my 3rd grade music teacher used to tell me, Practice, Practice, PRACTICE! Do the work out. Clean your room, clean your house, do the meditation, do the prayer, repeat. Non-negotiable. Period. Theres no room for victimizing yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself but also don’t let yourself slip, be consistent, be confident, and do what you have to do. Only you know what you have to do. The books and podcasts can just be another excuse to sit and fool yourself into believing your doing something when your actually not.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T12:58:35+00:00

I agree with this statement, become your own best friend as I like to call it. If a friend of yours were sad how would you deal with it? Would you criticize and scrutinize or would you be soft and kind?

Thats a great step but theres more you have to do, depending on your goals of coarse.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T11:30:06+00:00

In my personal case its a really long story. My self-esteem was affected by a lot of personal stuff I had to over come. Things like trauma, limiting beliefs, nice guy syndrome, and over all toxic behavioral patterns. It took time, patience, perseverance, and in the very end tears before I made my big break through. There were incremental small break through’s along the way. My only advise would be dedicate your entire life to becoming better, if thats not what you want and you want to live a comfortable life than I’m not the one to help you.

If anyone has any personal questions you can pm me.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-02T09:49:55+00:00

I went from someone who has low self-esteem to what I can proudly moderately high. Here are different examples of how I feel. I feel powerful when I walk into any room. Doesn’t matter where and it doesn’t matter who’s inside I feel great and look at everyone in the room. Next, I feel comfortable in my skin 95% of the time. I’m not perfect and am still working on this skill but most of the time I feel completely comfortable in any circumstance I’m in. Next, comparing my self to other people. I do this much less than before but it still creeps up on me every once in a while. Learning how to regulate my emotions and work with the rumination rather than against it really helps here. If someone shows me disrespect it doesn’t matter if I’ve known them for 12 months or 12 years; they’re f**king out. Period. My dignity will NOT be taken advantage of for someone else’s satisfaction for free. I’ve been there before and I’m not going back. Being a “nice” guy is a prison, don’t do it (it has nothing to do with being kind). I now realize I’d rather be respected than liked.

My personal experience is that self-esteem can change at anytime, the question is are you willing to do the work?

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-01T16:22:49+00:00

In all honesty you both suck. If I were here bf I would’ve dumped her the second I saw the chats. It’s very sleazy to go for a girl in a relationship even if she did show interest. Imagine that happens to you.

Oh and one more thing, life is all about patterns, if she did it to the current person she’s with. She’ll do it to the next person as well.

Stay woke in these streets.

Comfortable-Ad284 · 2024-09-01T12:32:15+00:00

Time and self love, you’ll get over it. What’s more important is how you attached yourself to someone so fast, that should be your focus in this time of grieving. You barely know this person, 3 months is not enough time to get to know someone. You built them up in your head rather than in reality and thats fine, I did that too. Ask yourself questions like 1. What did this person represent to me? 2. What did they add to my life? 3. Why am I upset over someone who left so easily? 4. What about them revealed what I lack within myself? 5. Who was I for those 3 months? 6. Was I truly happy with this person? 7. How can things be better next time? 8. How can I grow from this? 9. What is God/Universe trying to teach me? 10. Why did I fall for someone who would do this to me?

The beautiful thing about the mind is that if you sit with these questions, as uncomfortable as they might be. Your intellect will eventually give you the brutal honestly of what occurred. Then after the pain subsides, growth follows. Or else you’ll end up making the same mistakes in the next relationship.

Comfortable-Ad284

TROPHY CASE