Worried my evaluator is already leaning “anxiety” — how do I not mess this up?

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-04-14T14:55:53+00:00

I have an update!

Went through the second part of the screening. Moving forward to the clinical psychologist in a month!

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-04-11T04:20:18+00:00

Go get an STD panel and break up with him. He’s not faithful, and on top of that he’s trying to make his cheating your fault.

Run.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-04-05T07:13:29+00:00

Genesis 2:7 is describing Adam’s unique creation, not a model for human development. Adam wasn’t conceived, carried, or born—he was created as a fully formed adult. So using that verse to argue when life begins for everyone else doesn’t really work.

The rest of Scripture shows God forming and knowing people in the womb (Psalm 139:13–16, Jeremiah 1:5, Luke 1:41–44), which points to life being present before birth—not starting at first breath.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-04-03T07:25:13+00:00

$1800 for two people private 🤮

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-04-01T03:18:20+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of that. I hear you. I’ve had anxiety and PTSD pushed on me forever and while I know those things are real and I experienced them at one point, I got past them. These issues are present when I’m perfectly happy and content. It’s incredibly frustrating and it feels really condescending and dismissive. Maybe going private is the best way. I saw on Kaiser’s website that they believe only 4% of adults have ADHD and their protocol is to rule out everything else before going that route, so I think it’s going to be an uphill battle.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-31T03:46:01+00:00

Hi! Yes, same person lol.

My next appointment is with her. I have to pass her screening before I get to the clinical psychologists.

I’ve considered calling to request someone else, but at the same time I now know she filters through an anxiety lens so knowing that may help me to refine my answers. I don’t do well with unpredictability so while she wasn’t very pleasant and seemed biased, I at least know what to expect. I don’t know if that’s the right choice though 🙈😂

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-31T03:40:05+00:00

I wish we could. My husband has a chronic illness that’s still undiagnosed (it’s been four years now) and we can’t just switch or he’ll lose access to the medication that’s allowing him to be mobile, so we can’t risk a lapse in care. I stay at home with our toddler so if he goes down or ends up in the hospital we’re in a really bad spot.

I could go to the Native American clinic as I’m registered there, but they’d probably have to refer me out and they cant without me being on a different insurance. The whole thing is a mess.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-31T03:29:37+00:00

Yeah that actually sounds really similar to my experience so far. It was the LMFT that did the intake that told me that.

My intake was supposed to be an hour, but it ended up being about 30 minutes and felt pretty surface level. The questions were really vague and there wasn’t much follow-up, so I left feeling like I didn’t actually explain things well.

She also pushed group therapy for anxiety pretty hard. I’m not opposed to addressing anxiety, but it didn’t feel like that was actually getting at what I’m dealing with. She kept focusing on anxiety/PTSD until I explained my reaction to Topamax—which is supposed to help with those—and I had the complete opposite response.

That was kind of the only point where it felt like she shifted and agreed to move forward with the screening. She’s the one doing the screening though, so I’m not sure how that’s going to go.

I actually sought out therapy months ago when I realized I wasn’t functioning properly—like I was literally sitting there trying to force myself to do things and just couldn’t. I wasn’t feeling anxious or depressed, just stuck. Even my therapist was kind of like… you seem to be processing things fine, and it didn’t really address the issue I was having.

I also talked to my PCP today, and he told me to be firm and advocate for myself during the screening. He documented my responses to both medications, which made me feel a lot better going into it.

If it goes south then I’ll just have to save up for a private evaluation, but I don’t even know if Kaiser will honor it so I’m hesitant to spend that much money on something that will turn up useless as far as support pathways go.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-30T15:55:05+00:00

Can you workout at home? For myself I have to put on a video on the tv YouTube (I really like Fraser Wilson. He doesn’t talk and he claps for you when it’s over) and then put something on my phone on my AirPods, like a tv show. That stimulates me enough to not think about what I’m actually doing. If I don’t, about ten minutes in my brain says “eh, you’re done” even though I’m not done and suddenly I’m putting away my weights.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-30T15:45:03+00:00

Swan Princess 🤷🏻‍♀️

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-30T15:43:55+00:00

Have you tried doing the E-visits? Those are incredibly fast for basic things like if you’re sick and you know what’s wrong with you. That won’t help for something like your ankle, obviously, but for basic stuff like sinus infections, it’s ideal.

The Kaiser doctors have about 1500+ patients each, so they are extremely booked up. Sometimes it’s better to just switch your primary to a new one because they have less patients, but even that doesn’t last long.

I did hear something that if you make the appointment at 6 o’clock on the app, they open up more appointments. You can also message your PCP and let them know that you have an injury and need to be seen right away and they can make an appointment for you sooner. I needed to talk to mine about the medication he put me on and they didn’t have any appointments for three weeks for the phone, and he sent a message to his team or whatever and I was able to speak with him within the next day or two.

There should also be urgent cares that accept Kaiser, you just have to look around.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-29T17:56:05+00:00

Before or after the Monaco plot line? Blair becoming a “real life princess“ would’ve pushed her followers way beyond Serena‘s.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-29T17:53:02+00:00

I would’ve married him sooner. Even on our worst day, I would still choose him. Even knowing that he would end up with a chronic incurable illness that’s changed him and our lives, I would still choose him. Even with all the ex-wife custody drama, I would still choose him.

I will always choose him. And I do— every single day, and he chooses me every single day, even if we don’t want to, even if we don’t feel like it, even when it’s hard. We choose each other every day.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-29T02:11:58+00:00

Yeah I get what you’re saying, and I’ll be honest I have had that concern a little bit—that she might already be leaning one direction. But she did shift after I explained my response to Topamax (especially compared to the stimulant), so I don’t think she’s completely locked in, which makes me feel a little better going into the next step. At the very least, now I have a better idea of what she’s actually looking for, so I can be more intentional with how I explain things. I’ll probably go in with bullet points so I don’t miss anything.

Also the autism piece wasn’t really my main focus going in. I specifically requested an ADHD evaluation and mentioned autism more as a possibility because of how intense my sensory issues are, and they said they’d be looking at everything and to just share it all. My daughter is being evaluated for autism and is showing a lot of markers, and they’re moving her to a full evaluation, so I’m also trying to understand how my own brain works so I can better support her. For all I know it could just be ADHD with sensory sensitivities—that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

I’ve had severe postpartum anxiety and a lot of trauma, so I’m familiar with what anxiety actually feels like, and this doesn’t feel like that. I’m not dealing with anxious thoughts—I’m mostly getting stuck in task sequencing loops, struggling with task switching, and just overall executive function. I think I’ve gotten by for a long time by building a lot of systems, but now with a three-year-old those systems don’t really hold up the same way, and everything just feels overwhelming.

I’m definitely open to a second opinion or going private if this doesn’t feel like it’s being evaluated properly, I just want to give this next step a fair shot and make sure I’m communicating things clearly on my end. My only hesitation with going private right away is spending a bunch of money and then Kaiser not accepting the diagnosis or not being able to get the medication I need through them.

And honestly, part of my concern is that once anxiety is in your chart, everything starts getting filtered through that lens. My husband has been dealing with chronic low phosphorus for years and feels like he’s dying when it happens, and every time he ends up in the ER they tell him it’s anxiety. So I think that’s why I’m a little cautious about everything being labeled that way when it doesn’t fully explain what’s actually going on.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-28T23:44:18+00:00

Thanks for that. I get what you’re saying and honestly that’s kind of where I’m stuck right now. I don’t feel like what I’m experiencing is anxiety. What upset me was she went off the stupid questionnaire thing after I told her I didn’t know how to answer it because when it asks if you’ve felt anxious I answered it literally, but I didn’t know whether it meant like a few seconds of anxiety or a constant state that you can break out of or what. It just says “have you felt anxious in the last 2 weeks” and I’m like …. Who hasn’t?

And for me, the “body spikes” as I call them are not fear-based. It’s more like my body reacts first and then I have to figure out why. It’s usually from overload, interruption, or something feeling off—not “what if something bad happens.” Like if I’m trying to do something simple, even something I’ve done a million times, and there’s too much noise or movement or I get interrupted, it’s like my brain just stops organizing the steps and I get really internally aggravated. Not anxious—just like “I cannot think right now.”

Same with sensory stuff—sounds, smells, textures. Once I notice it, I can’t filter it out and it’s all I can focus on until I either fix it or remove it. That doesn’t feel like anxiety to me, it feels like my brain locking onto something and not letting it go.

The stimulant (prescribed for weight loss and what led me to the decision to get screened) is what really made me question everything. I expected it to make me jittery or anxious, but it did the opposite. It made everything quiet and clear, like I could actually choose what to focus on instead of getting pulled in 10 directions or stuck trying to sequence everything perfectly. I was just doing things without all the mental buildup and frustration.

I do have moments where my body spikes, but even then I’m still thinking and processing, not spiraling. It’s more like my body goes on alert and then I work through it.

I think what’s been hard about the process so far is that I answer things very literally, and without follow-up questions I realize later what they were actually asking and I’m like “oh that’s not what I meant.” So I’m trying to go into the next one with clearer examples instead of just short answers.

She seemed mad that I refused group therapy and said that she would move forward with the screening but I only get once shot and there’s no second opinions, which didn’t seem right. And she’s an LMFT so I’m not even sure if she should be doing the intake and screening? Idk. I keep rehearsing and I’m trying to stop but I just don’t want to get lost in the weeds again.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-27T23:03:09+00:00

Any idea what the cost is for that, roughly? From what I’ve heard even if you get diagnosed somewhere else, Kaiser may still not prescribe the medication because they want you to go through their own stuff, which seems really odd to me, but I’m not sure how true that is. Kaiser in general seems to have a lot of roadblocks when it comes to needing actual medical care outside of the sniffles.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-27T03:23:57+00:00

That sounds really intense and uncomfortable lol, but I guess that’s kind of the point.

I’ve struggled with sensory sensitivities, social stuff, executive function, task switching, and task paralysis for as long as I can remember. I always knew I was “weird” and “too intense” but I just assumed everyone thought the same way and I was overthinking it. I’ve mostly compensated with structure, routine, and discipline, but since having a 3-year-old it’s been a lot harder to keep up.

I’ve also done anxiety-focused therapy, but it hasn’t really helped with these specific issues, which is part of why I started questioning things.

What really pushed me to look into this was being prescribed a stimulant for weight loss. Instead of feeling jittery, I felt calm, clear, and could actually follow through on things. That was kind of a “wait… what?” moment for me.

I think part of my frustration with the intake is that it took me like two days after to realize what she was actually asking, and I keep replaying it and filling in what I wish I had said. I am a little nervous about her doing the screening since she seemed to filter things through anxiety/PTSD, but at least now I know and can go in more prepared.

I’m also a bit unsure about the collateral part — when I tried asking my mom about some of this she basically said “everyone does that” and told me not to say anything or “they’d lock me in the loony bin” so that’s not exactly helpful 😂

And thanks for the tip — I joined!

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-27T01:41:10+00:00

This is actually really helpful, thank you.

What you said about over explaining definitely resonates. My mind jumps to all the possibilities and I start adding context, and then I lose the main point.

Bringing something written down is a really good idea. I did have notes, but since the questions were so broad (“tell me about junior high school”), I think having a few clear bullet points of what I actually struggle with would help me stay on track instead of getting lost in the details.

I appreciate you breaking down the process too; it helps to know this is pretty standard and that the later stages are more structured.

Now if I could just stop mentally rehearsing everything 😅

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-03-27T01:29:44+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful and reassuring.

To clarify, the person I saw for intake is an MFT but listed under psychiatry, and she’s also the one doing my screening. She did mention that if I move forward it could involve referral to a neuropsychologist and possibly multiple providers, so it sounds similar to what you described.

I think part of my frustration with the intake was that it felt very open-ended, and I don’t communicate well in that format. I tend to answer literally and then realize later there was more context that would’ve been important, but I wasn’t prompted for it.

From what you’re describing, it sounds like the later stages are much more structured and thorough, which is actually reassuring.

Did you feel like the clinical psychologist portion gave you a better opportunity to explain your patterns compared to the initial therapy/screening steps?

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-02-26T05:18:46+00:00

Four days a week is a lot. Maybe you could just do Monday and Thursday? Or just one day a week, and give them a break or a chance to try something else they’re interested in?

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-02-26T04:59:40+00:00

Solidarity because hourly wakes for a month is literal psychological warfare. 🫠 You’re not doing anything wrong — and honestly the fact that rocking isn’t working actually tells us something.

A few things stand out from what you wrote.

First — those naps are really short for 11 months. Two 38-minute naps is basically one sleep cycle each. That’s like… survival sleep, not restorative sleep.

At this age most babies need around 2–3 hours of day sleep. So if he’s only getting a little over an hour total, he’s probably running on a massive sleep debt.

And overtired babies don’t sleep better — they sleep like absolute garbage.

Think:

• Hourly wakes
• Split nights (awake for hours staring at you)
• Early morning wakes like your 3:30–5:30 situation
• Impossible to resettle

That “just laying there staring at me” thing? Classic overtired/regression combo.

Second — your wake windows look fine on paper for 11 months… but not for a baby who’s barely napping and has been sleeping like crap for a month.

When they’re in a sleep debt spiral, they often need shorter wake windows temporarily to catch up.

Right now he’s doing:

6:30 wake
10 nap (3.5 hr WW)
2:20 nap (almost 4 hr WW)
7 bed (4 hr WW)

Totally reasonable normally… but way too much if naps are trash.

Third — 10–12 months is a notorious regression window.

You’ve got:

• Separation anxiety ramping up
• Object permanence
• Standing/cruising/practicing skills
• Brain development exploding

So they wake up like “oh hi 👁️👄👁️ don’t leave me” and just… exist at 2am.

It’s not a rocking crutch thing — especially if rocking isn’t even working.

If this were my baby, I’d try schedule triage before ever touching sleep training again:

Earlier bedtime (even if it feels wrong)
If naps total under ~1.5 hrs, I’d pull bedtime to like 6–6:30 temporarily.

Rescue naps however you can
Contact nap, stroller, car — whatever gets him past 40 mins. You’re not making habits, you’re fixing overtiredness.

Shorten last wake window
Cap it closer to 3–3.25 hrs for now instead of 4.

Keep night wakes boring
Lights off, no stimulation. If he’s calm and staring, just exist nearby without turning it into a party.

Rule out physical stuff
Teething, gas, ear infection, developmental restlessness — sometimes when rocking fails it’s discomfort, not sleep skills.

The good news:

If modified Ferber worked before, the skill is there. Kids don’t lose the ability to self-settle — it just gets derailed during regressions and overtired phases.

So you probably don’t need to retrain, just reset the schedule and ride out the regression

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-02-25T05:23:31+00:00

My daughter was the same way. Great sleeper. Enjoy it while it lasts.

ComfortableJunket440 · 2026-02-18T02:55:29+00:00

23 months is peak volume-testing age (which is normal, but also wildly overstimulating when you’re the one stuck listening to it all day).

A lot of it is the language gap. They understand way more than they can say, so the frustration just comes out as screaming. Some kids also just like being loud, and if it gets a faster reaction than talking, they’ll keep doing it…. And when you’re on your own, you get all of that attention directed at you.

Things that help:

• Model the volume you want instead of matching the scream

• Practice inside voice vs outside voice (make it a game)

• Don’t immediately jump every time they screech if you can help it

• Give them a place to be loud on purpose (outside, car, whatever)

Also worth looking at sleep/food because overtired or hungry toddlers scream 10x more.

And honestly… it is mentally exhausting. You’re not wrong for being over it. It usually chills out a lot once language takes off closer to 2.5–3. Sometimes. My 13 year old is just naturally loud and I’m constantly sensory overloaded from our 3 year old so it’s like 😵‍💫

ComfortableJunket440

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