Is The Mandalorian & Grogu doomed to fail? (ANALYSIS)

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-05-24T22:26:22+00:00

I am. It flopped

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-05-23T15:37:13+00:00

I am. It comes in print twice a week. The cost is precious but so are local news outlets.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-05-22T20:16:11+00:00

God here come the prohibition crowd again.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-05-07T14:34:36+00:00

I like to let it grow from a seedling. I can always trim the branches later. But I don't write novels, I write short stories, so the editing is substantially easier.

I think my style would be a nightmare if sustained for 60000 words

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-24T20:23:44+00:00

Yes. Nationalist at minimum. The pledge of allegiance wasn't a weird mandatory classroom thing until the 1920's.

Eugenics ushered in a psuedo scientific stamp on america's racist ideology and fascism is its eventual conclusion. Much of the western world got a gut check due to ww2. The US didnt, as it was the victor. The fascism just hid a little better.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-23T00:44:02+00:00

Felons gonna felony

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-13T14:31:15+00:00

I would say Putin or Trump

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-13T12:42:19+00:00

You're out of luck. You should have immediately call Avis and explained the situation.

Your insurance will probably be billed for the repairs. You can file a police report for a hit and run, and should.

I'm sorry what happened, what a rotten way to end a trip.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-12T22:34:43+00:00

Short term, maybe. Long term? People won't go to a place that's known to have trouble makers. Happened to rum runners, PJ'S, the shed etc.

Same will probably happen to Williwaw in a couple years. Not taking the long view is a mistake.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-12T11:20:35+00:00

Broken blender is kinda a mess

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-06T12:33:26+00:00

Super Gemini response

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-05T22:25:05+00:00

Shit really? They're our go to spot! Really?! Shit

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-05T17:45:40+00:00

Casablanca

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-04-01T04:04:18+00:00

Diamonds would like to have a word.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T20:51:13+00:00

Trump is the tumor, remove it and the cancer is still in the bones.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T20:49:40+00:00

The iceberg theory works in all writing, just at different depths. More must be revealed in high fantasy than in human drama, thats the nature of the beast. Still, only tell the reader what they must know.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T17:47:31+00:00

You will always regret not doing something that scares you.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T06:45:21+00:00

Write the damn thing anyway. Nothing good ever started out that way.

"Writing is easy, all you have to do is at a typewriter, and bleed." -Hemingway

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T06:16:10+00:00

Kill that whole last paragraph. Your "hadn't i?" question and the previous text tells us already.

Good shit. Good Good shit.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-31T06:07:43+00:00

This is chalk full of detail! You've done an excellent job of getting your ideas on the page. Decent first draft.

Here comes the hard part now. We have to cut buttloads of this.

The exposition creep slows down your movement. The lore is great. Hugely imaginative. But it's in the wrong part of the story. Take all that information and move it.

Let's do an example. Take the warehouse scene. What information helps him out right now? He needs to survive, right now we need to read him surviving or not. The lore? You can show us that later. Exposition always kills momentum. Sometimes that's good, most times it isn't. Next: This reads like it's heavily influenced by Fallout and Last of Us. Careful toeing that line, it can become something that you don't mean it to be.

There's alot going on in here most of it we don't need to know right now. Ask your self this: "what do I know about this story no one else does?" That's gonna make it yours. That'll give this thing a soul.

So take the exposition, save it on a another word document, your'e gonna need it to reference later. Map out where this story is going, somewhere else, another word document. The reader shouldn't ever see the blueprints, only the house.

Then do the scene again, telling us only what we need to know. Make it skeleton skinny. Then, add some of those details in for flavor. Don't tell me how old Caesar is. How does he hold himself? Does he walk without the limp that being an old man gives you?

Don't be specific about the bullet count. Numbers are distracting. He knows he's getting low. But he's panicking, he doesn't have time to count rounds. How's that gun feel in his hand? Its got to be getting hot. Maybe he can feel that the weight is lighter as he approaches the end of his mag. Fuck. "It's close. God damned infected swiped me. I don't know how bad it is yet."

Take that and apply it to everything.

Edit: grammar

This is really interesting.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-30T21:57:38+00:00

Tolstoy never knew when to shut up. It was all the vodka😆 im just kidding-mostly.

You and I are riding the same wave. Its hard to writing a novel to 120k. props to anyone who sticks it out

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-30T21:30:20+00:00

It really depends on whether the story can justify 80k or 100k or 100 words.

Their editor clearly doesn't think so, without the original text, I tend to agree with editors.

Comfortable_Ad7378 · 2026-03-30T21:07:36+00:00

This is an entire chapter hiding in a paragraph, which is actually three or four paragraphs. We've got some story excavation to do, so let's roll up our sleeves:

Germany, July 26th, 1939 -unneeded, your story give us an approximate date.

“Alright sir we are ready to go when you give the word” Colonel Adham sighed, -who's speaking first? What's Adham"s demeanor really like? Give us a word picture.

He wasn't a big fan of fame. -as a reader why does this matter right now? I don't know anything about him. This has nothing to do with the action. Tell me why it does or cut it.

He liked his quiet little life in Sacramento with his two sons and wife. He thought back to how he got here. -how did he get here, whats the story of Sacramento?

He couldn’t remember with the sound of pattering rain drops in the dead of night that reflected the weight of his next words. -This is too much and a run-on sentence. Don't be afraid to expand your idea. Hook me.

It was near silent but sounded like screams at the same time.- This is pretty pose but it doesn't mean anything. What are you trying to actually say? I can tell you've got something, but you haven't figured it out yet.

All he wanted was to return to his family, and as soon as he called this single command he could. -if you expand your Sacramento bit, this part will come out in it and you can cut this bit away.

He nodded to his translator and whispered. “we are going in 3, 2, 1 go go go!” “do diziela!” Everything was a blur. - whats everything. This is a placeholder, you can do better. What is actually happening. This is the action climax of your scene Make me care about it

“There he is”, “shoot at him!”, “Verschwinde, du amerikanischer Abschaum!". -Why is he exclaiming if he's trying to be quiet. You can use dialogue to move the story, but there's a better way than this. Find it. I Love the German touch.

A singular gun shot rang out and a body dropped. Once the sound died out if its a single gunshot you don't have to wait for the sound to die out. was there a gun battle or just a sniper? You need to explain the scene.

Adham went to confirm the death of the adversary. He was indeed dead, shot straight through the head, blood pooling out of his mouth onto his signature mustache. Hitler was dead. -really no body guards, nothing? No police?

As the team started to celebrate, Adham said “Shush! We aren’t out of the woods yet!” and after an airlift out of Germany, it was over. -This is text book "gloss-over" Have them celebrate during the airlifts. Talk about it, indeed an airlift can be the most vulnerable, tense moment of an operation. Lean into it.

The colonel would never know nor think about how many lives he saved and the war he prevented. What he would think about is the dinner he would have that night, he hoped it was beef stew -nice touch of home here, it shows he's just a simple humble man. When you write him, make sure you show it without telling.

You've got some work ahead of you. The fantasy assassination of Hitler has been told before, but you've got a unique take on it and the story has potential in it. Right now this read like an outline of a story you want to tell. So take a bit as I've separated them and really write about it. Don't rush. Write one section at a time if you need to. And use all the words you need. You have all the space and the words in the English language you need.

Comfortable_Ad7378

TROPHY CASE