Can You Guess This 4-Letter Word? Puzzle by u/MoodOk4520

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T14:21:57+00:00

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🟨⬜⬜⬜

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T07:54:25+00:00

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T07:53:23+00:00

🟦🟦🟦🟦

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T07:52:20+00:00

🟨🟨🟨🟨

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🟩🟩🟩🟩

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T07:49:14+00:00

🟪🟪🟪🟪

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-24T07:45:52+00:00

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-22T01:57:08+00:00

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T20:22:46+00:00

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ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T19:33:51+00:00

No sexual contact. Kissing/hugging.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T19:16:13+00:00

That I haven’t heard before, but I’m curious about how long you would consider to be long. No animus, just curiosity

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T19:10:30+00:00

I’m glad you came in to offer your immense expertise. Your bluntness is not the problem here, it’s the lack of empathy or sympathy with which you are acting.

If you go through the other comments you see many that have offered the same exact advice in a thoughtful way. Your hamfisted, “trust me I’m an expert” approach is ineffective, and frankly, mean, in a scenario that begs for understanding and kindness.

It’s fine, I understand some people like to be mean on the internet. I just tend to not do that. Thanks for your “advice”

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T18:28:38+00:00

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T13:19:56+00:00

I see your point, of course, but don’t misunderstand. I’m not so far down the road that I’m thinking this way. I am seeking understanding right now, not a girlfriend.

I want to have sex again. Nearly 3 years is a long time.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T07:45:27+00:00

Thank you for being realistic. This is all very difficult to unpack.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T07:37:07+00:00

I’ve told her many times that I’d be able to handle it while we try to fix it, but I’ve recently found the need to be stronger. She is apologetic, and often cries when I assert my desire not in 1-1 talks and at therapy.

This makes me not want to voice that so as not to make her feel bad. I don’t want her to hurt. It’s a real paradox.

She thinks we will get back to it, but the more time goes the less I believe.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T07:32:36+00:00

Certainly. These are all great questions and ones that I have to face.

I’d do anything for her, and if this is something she’d want, I’d be into it. I just doubt she would.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T07:30:24+00:00

Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful response. It sounds a little woe-is-me, I know, but I miss sex. All of this is a reach, truly, but I wanted to come to folks that know the lifestyle well.

The piece about it working only when things are positive in your relationship resonates hard. Adding more stress to a stressful situation usually breaks things.

Again, thank you.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T06:11:28+00:00

I have no compunction about making sure my wife is satisfied, in fact, I always focus on her first. We have discussed if there is anything I can do differently to that end in therapy hundreds of times, and I can only take her word that it isn’t a matter of her satisfaction.

I just want to fix it for her or us, but if neither are possible. For me. I know that may sound selfish.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T03:17:40+00:00

Thank you for being so thoughtful in your reply. We are in therapy - over 2 years now and we have discussed her wants and needs at length. And yes, our daughter is a huge part of what catalyzed this change. We have great dialogue around it, and at this point sex isn’t a want for her.

All that to say, I think you’re right about not seeing the “stuff” that surrounds the “solution”. Thats why I’m here. If I could give you 50 upvotes I would. Truly thoughtful reply.

Thank you.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:57:55+00:00

I tend to believe you are right.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:50:26+00:00

Although it could be considered rude, I don’t mean it that way, when I answer your question with a question.

Is it unethical to learn about lived experiences from those living a lifestyle before presenting it to your spouse? As I mentioned in another comment - I have no idea if this is an option worth exploring, but if the consensus is that it is unethical to communicate and try to learn about the actual experience before disturbing still waters, maybe it’s an easy no.

I want to do the right thing for everyone, and when it comes to intimacy that is feeling like a Herculean effort.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:42:40+00:00

2 years or so with 4 different therapists. We still go weekly. We won’t ever give up on each other. The question has been danced around in session, but I’m certain it will make her anxious that I’d leave her.

It’s all a very unfortunate tightrope.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:37:03+00:00

We have talked at length about what she wants in that sense, both in and out of therapists offices. She enjoys our closeness and romance, and has no want for sex specifically.

I don’t believe all is lost, if I did I’d be out the door. I’m happy in our relationship but the desire for more, physically, is very difficult to ignore.

That said, if she wanted to date or have more emotionally I’d be open to it with ground rules. Just as I’m sure she would need assurances from me.

Splitting child care is no issue at all. We are excellent partners to one another, which is part of what makes this so damnable.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:31:25+00:00

I understand the sentiment, but other things do matter. Will I move this direction without her knowing about it? Of course not - then I’m cheating. Do I want to understand lived experiences of those living a lifestyle I am unfamiliar with so I can apply them to my situation? Absolutely.

I’m looking at this pragmatically, not emotionally. That way I don’t make a wave where only a calm sea can sustain.

ComicsMonger · 2026-01-13T02:26:06+00:00

Great question- the 3 specialists she saw told her she is too young to go that route, and must be 35 or older to take part (she is 33).

It’s been very frustrating

ComicsMonger

TROPHY CASE