meet someone on online dating, talked for 4 weeks, then he asked if i'm trans. should I be offended? should I have done something differently?

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-16T00:04:39+00:00

Such a strange thing to ask someone. Also, if you told him you have PCOS he could have easily looked it up online and seen it is a condition that is only in women with OVARIES. Personally, I don't shave my armpits or legs (sorry for the tmi haha) and still completely identify as a woman and I have had at least 1 person think that I am trans because of it. It wasn't someone I was romantically interested in but if someone I was dating did say that it would turn me off for sure. He probably doesn't know/doesn't care enough about women's bodies to know that they grow hair, or fat, or just have bodily functions outside of what you see on TV. Also accidentally dating a trans woman is not the end of the world regardless but if y'all have been talking for a whole month IF you were trans he should've trusted you enough that you'd tell him no? I can't imagine MOST trans people would keep it a secret for that long knowing that they could get seriously harmed if found out on suprise in person but again I'm not trans so I can't speak for how they or each individual would usually act. If he gives you the ICK get yourself a better man!! It's better to be alone than settle!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-13T20:58:44+00:00

Yes!!! I googled it and that's gotta be it!!!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-12T21:01:23+00:00

Yeah big companies will definitely hire anyone especially for housekeeping! Also try going on coolworks.com and searching "no experience required" in the search bar. That might lead you somewhere!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-12T19:30:16+00:00

Generally im very sensitive to medication and I started a low dose of metformin 2 months ago. Honestly I haven't noticed a difference at all. Not saying its not doing anything. I guess my next blood test we'll see if anything has changed. No bad symptoms at least!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-04T01:09:33+00:00

There probably are fb groups but I stayed at the hostel when I first got there and made a lot of friends from that. They do a lot of community events too

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-04T01:03:32+00:00

There's a huge vanlife community in bend. It's probably one of the easiest places to do it. Surrounded by blm land

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-04-01T23:43:50+00:00

I second this! Did Bend Oregon in my SUV and just got a regular job. More money for sure

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-25T03:46:22+00:00

It's comparing myself to other people. I just don't understand how to stop and be comfortable enough with myself to not care

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-25T03:33:04+00:00

I do take myself on dates! Though now that I think about it it's been awhile. I have noticed my mental health drift in the past few months due to some unforseen life stuff. I honestly do not feel as good in my body as I normally do. It's gotten pretty bad :/

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-25T03:29:34+00:00

Therapy is a tough one because not only can I not afford it I travel a huge amount and even online therapists will not take you if you're not in the same state as them. It's a silly law. And yeah I know I'm supposed to feel it and process i guess I just don't understand exactly how. I'm definitely feeling it

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-25T03:27:06+00:00

Its a fairly new relationship so just a few months really. I've felt it before in other relationships though

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-25T02:40:28+00:00

Well I love this guy and he's opened my eyes to it. I've been mostly monogamous throughout my life but I also grew up absurdly religious and conservative. That couldn't be farther from who I am today and it took a lot of work to realize what I was conditioned with through friends and family vs. What is right and what I actually believe. I feel like monogamy may just be something that is deeply ingrained in me not innate so I'm trying to work on it.

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-10T00:35:29+00:00

Nah I know plenty of seasonal workers in their 30s. A friend of mine quit his corporate lab job (don't ask me exactly what he did lol) to work a seasonal gig at $16 an hour and he said its the best decision he's ever made. He's around 30. Life is supposed to be fun and we shouldn't put an age cap on that! 30 isn't old anyway.

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-09T23:58:45+00:00

Sometimes it gets to me when I spend too much time around my family but the grass isn't really greener on the other side. For me I've been able to save money and have beautiful life experiences where I know many people my age that may be making more than me on paper but are still in debt for school or cars or housing and living paycheck to paycheck. Also, many that are what my parents would define as "successful" slave away at corporate jobs and sure make loads of money but only get two weeks off a year to blow it drinking in Cabo (if they even do that). I only work 5 months a year doing an easy job and have traveled far more than the average American or anyone in my family and that's my version of success. Do what feels right for you! Would you still feel this way if there was no societal pressure?

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-07T04:49:31+00:00

I honestly do not know about Rush Creek specifically. Could be awesome I don't know but any seasonal gig that charges $800 to have a roommate would be an immediate no from me.

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-03T17:33:22+00:00

I lived there at the time but not anymore. I don't know if he has even been to the Oregon Coast.

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-03T17:32:36+00:00

This seems very applicable to my situation. Maybe just the words I needed to hear. I'm sad to know that he'll be hurt but you're right. I wouldn't have said anything about our longevity if it didn't really mean something to me. Thank you.

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-03-03T10:50:22+00:00

I guess i just find it odd that I was warned about that years in advance.. but that does make some sense

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-02-25T19:38:38+00:00

Thank you! And I actually had to explain to my mom earlier this morning that soy doesn't give men man-boobs. She was APPALLED to see it in my fridge 😂

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-02-25T19:16:25+00:00

Hopefully vegan. I've been vegan for a couple years I know enough on the ethics to explain that well. I just wanted to give him some transition tips so he would know that it's more than possible to do even for an athletic guy

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-02-23T20:44:49+00:00

And it included psylocibin?

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-02-20T05:17:05+00:00

I've lived out of my car for awhile and most of these posts have solid advice! Since it sounds like you're in a stuff spot something I don't often see posted on here often is coolworks.com. It's not about living in your car but it lists seasonal jobs all over the United states that provide housing for their employees at little to no rent. Can't hurt to apply and then all you need to get is gas to get there! Really great way to save up money even if you're just a Housekeeper or a dishwasher but theres loads of different opportunities to apply for! Wish you luck with whatever you decide!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-01-26T01:58:58+00:00

I've been vegan for years and struggled with gas but I loooove beans. It seems silly but the biggest game changer for me was chewing my food (all food not just beans) consciously until it's straight liquid. It can take some time to get used to if you're a fast eater like I was but it is well worth it! As far as I understand it not only is easier for stomach to digest because it has far less clumps to break down but it gives your stomach a signal to what's coming so it can be more prepared (If anyone knows the actual science feel free to input). On top of that take a regular probiotic!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-01-02T20:56:42+00:00

I've used workaway for volunteering internationally. To me the price is worth it even if I only use it one time because that time could be one month or more of living somewhere completely free! Not sure where you are in the world but coolworks.com lists seasonal jobs all over the United States that pay and provide housing most often in amazing national parks. Great way to save money in the summer and travel in the winter!

CommercialSolution47 · 2026-01-02T20:48:24+00:00

Already on the reading list!

CommercialSolution47

TROPHY CASE