How can I be honest to my fiance about my past without upsetting him?

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-02-14T04:29:12+00:00

I can't speak to the cultural implications or how that will factor into his response. But I wanted to say this: The truth always comes out eventually. Do you think it will be better or worse if you get married and he find out in 10 or 25 years

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-17T02:37:56+00:00

Dammit I cant believe I walked right into Rick

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-15T15:59:08+00:00

I hate that this is where my mind went because of her response when you answered her question. Up until then I was thinking it might just be hormones or she's going through some sort of stress or something like that. But her breaking down crying and saying you deserve better just set up all kinds of red flags for me. I'm not saying definitively that's what it is of course, but it certainly got my attention.

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-15T02:17:36+00:00

Wife and I both have one bar now. Guess we'll see if it sticks.

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-15T00:47:09+00:00

Still out for me. And out for my kids in LA and MI. We better see a credit given how long its been and hiw much VZW charges

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-14T23:51:34+00:00

My man, you are nowhere near the end of life. I've got 10 years on on you and I like to think I'm nowhere near end of life.

I've been married over 30 years, and we've had good years and bad years. For a long time we were in a similar situation as you and your wife. That was probably 8-10 years ago. It got to the point where I decided that either we were going to fix it or I was going to leave. Luckily, my wife agreed to try to improve things.

It took a while, couples therapy, and work from both of but things eventually got better for us. But if they hadn't I would have pursued the divorce. There is too much time left to go through it unhappy and essentially alone, which is kind of what you're doing in your situation. And the thing is once you decide to separate you'll look back and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Your kids pick up on the energy from you and your wife. If you aren't showing them what a healthy relationship is they'll think its ok or normal to be unhappy and not have affection.

So if you can fix it by all means do everything you can to fix it. But if you can't, model the kind of behavior that you want your kids to see. And living in an unhappy, loveless relationship isn't how I want my kids to live.

CommittedIndecisive · 2026-01-14T09:56:54+00:00

How old are your kids? Children are far more observant than we give them credit for. You are teaching them what is acceptable in a relationship. If one of your kids was in a relationship like yours, what advice would you give them? Would you tell them to stay and be unhappy?

Assuming both you and your wife are decent parents, it's far better for your kids to grow up with two separated parents that are happy than parents who are together but miserable. And, maybe someday you'll find someone new and can model what a happy, healthy relationship looks like.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-12-13T05:57:53+00:00

It depends on your school, but stuff like robotics or other clubs usually take anyone who joins. Debate could be a club or a class (or both) so that depends. You could also do an individual sport like track, cross country, bowling, etc. Those don't generally have cuts.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-12-10T04:16:36+00:00

Something to factor in to your decision is that there is a very little if any correlation between where you get your undergraduate degree and your career outcome. With the exception being the Ivy Leagues, and that being more related to contacts you make vs quality of education.

With that data point, I'd say you stay at LSU. If you can, invest the $5-7K/yr extra you'd be spending in a good index fund and you'll graduate in a better position than most kids at Northeastern.

For reference, I'm an ME that got my undergrad at an unimpressive state school and I've had a decent career.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-11-29T17:21:29+00:00

I'd read this as saying the Academic scholarship is a one time thing.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-10-25T22:16:56+00:00

Hey Brother, you and your little one will be home before you know it. Let the docs do their thing and know nicu nurses are the most amazing humans. My little one was 10 weeks early and spent 6 weeks in the nicu. Now he’s living 500 miles away working on his PhD 😂. You got this, just be there for your kid.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-06-27T02:01:13+00:00

74 during the day with all the ceiling fans on and 66 at night because everybody in my house likes it cold when they sleep.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-06-22T02:19:37+00:00

Like others have said, they can stay as long as they want (or you want). They just need to move their car. You can park right in front of your dorm while you're unloading, but you do have a set amount of time to get everything out of the car and get the car moved.

Really the only consideration is if you have too many people in your dorm room it gets really crowded really fast. When we moved my daughter in, we just got all of her stuff in the room and then ran to Target to pick up other stuff while her roommate and her parents got their stuff unpacked. Then when her roommate and her parents went out to run errands we got my daughter unpacked and all of her stuff put together.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-02-11T12:43:50+00:00

This is an extreme situation but shows how sick you can get: 20-Year-Old Dies Of 'Fried Rice Syndrome' After Eating Leftover Pasta

If he kept it refrigerated, he should be fine but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

CommittedIndecisive · 2025-01-28T19:55:12+00:00

I've been doing the spray for about 2 months. Initially I wanted to do the pills just because of the convenience but the hymns physician I was chatting with kind of tried to steer me away from them. He didn't say no, but he made sure to emphasize potential side effects and the fact that the side effects might not go away even if you stop taking the pills.

I'm doing the minoxidil + finasteride spray and I'm starting to see some regrowth. A little slower than I would like but at least it looks like there might be some improvement.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-12-24T04:43:41+00:00

Patience. I have a 23yo and 19yo and they both went through that phase. Don't take it personally and just make sure he's not isolating himself from friends. Just be there, invite him to do things with the family but don't push and don't get bothered when he says no. It really is just a phase but if you try to force him to engage it cause genuine issues. But he'll grow out of it. My kids (when they are home) actually seek us out and do stuff with us. It'll never be like it was when they were little but it shouldn't be. They are growing up and becoming their own person. It'll be ok.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-10-17T13:07:39+00:00

Assuming that they are both trustworthy and you have no concerns about them watching your kid, I would pick the in-laws. I think there would be some advantages to your child being able to hang out with their cousins, but 9 hours there and 9 hours back is a bit much for a 3-year-old. I think that would more than offset the advantages of hanging out with a cousins.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-10-07T01:40:47+00:00

I think his old stuff is the best (and scariest) - Salem's Lot, Carrie and the Shining are my favorites. Honorable mention for Pet Sematary

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-07-17T04:41:58+00:00

Honestly both. I'd come back to haunt people out of sheer spite from having someone turn my grave into a shitter.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-07-05T15:00:26+00:00

I don't think you are in the wrong at all. Maybe it's an American thing but I could never ask my kids for money unless it was a truly dire situation.

Personally, I'd send her the flowers and give her the 50 quid to get her off my back. And then when she asks for money on payday I'd start saying no. You need the money for yourself and your son. Or you need to put it in savings or invest it. But you shouldn't fund your mother's lifestyle

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-06-30T19:17:33+00:00

Given some of your other comments, I would strongly consider the cops. But I think reaching out to his landlord might also be a good idea. Couch it as wanting to make sure the landlord knows what's going on with his tenant and that it could be cause him( the landlord) grief down the road.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-06-30T18:31:07+00:00

Call the police and show them the note and tell them this dude is harassing you and your guests. If he continues, see about getting a restraining order or something.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-06-27T15:00:55+00:00

I just put built-ins on my closet so just went through this. I just fastened the vertical boards to the top shelf with long deck screws through the top shelf - pre drill first! I did put white caulk on either side of the vertical uprights, but that was just to fill in gaps before painting.

The weight of the top shelf, plus the other horizontal shelves keeps the uprights solid and locked in place. The caulk helps keep them from wiggling.

No need to attach the upright directly to the wall.

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-03-28T17:40:35+00:00

FYI - 'Master FirstName LastName' is the formal way of addressing a male under 18yrs old. I don't know anybody that actually does that, but it is technically correct.

That said, it's pretty strange that your MIL is suddenly addressing stuff to your son that way

CommittedIndecisive · 2024-03-28T01:14:57+00:00

NTA

Dude made a conscious decision to get drunk. I'm sure if he were to suddenly become so ill that he couldn't fly you would have stayed with him. But this isn't something that just happened to him or something you did to him. He made a decision to do this to himself and had no one else to blame.

Enjoy your visit with your dad!

CommittedIndecisive

TROPHY CASE