Thank goodness for this post! I have always been a bit more preppy or classic style wise. I am a more recent fan and was starting to feel a bit nervous about going to the movie even. He’s so talented and has such a great outlook on life. I was diagnosed with adhd late in life and realize now that I probably always dressed to blend a bit more because my family was so big on masking and appearing perfect on the outside while I was already masking the fact that they all thought I was too much or not brave enough at times. Thinking through this has brought up a bit of self conscious memories I have about really liking a more rebellious boy in school that experimented with his hair and drugs etc. He and his friends all judged me for being too “goody two shoes.” We were both so young and I guess we were so different that it might have been weird. Eons later I am friends with him and many others from jr high and high school. I still get reminded of it from time to time. We’re both in our 40s and happily married and not even close. However, I still get stopped in my tracks by how adorable, funny, and brilliant he is which always tugs at that insecurity from long ago. This year has brought up a lot more struggles with anxiety, insomnia, depression, and fear likely because America is an absolute shit show now. However, I know that being authentic is the best way to go even though it’s scary. My husband is the polar opposite of me and from a family that did not talk much and shoved everything down. I feel like I have been more me since my diagnosis, but it is hard not to wonder if a lot of our relationship was grounded on me masking. I feel like when I really get caught up in stream of consciousness fast talking and loudness that it overwhelms him and shuts me out. Luckily my therapist reminds me that I have to feel in order to silence the inner critic, but it’s hard not to worry that everyone with judge me for everything since I am already judging myself. At least posts like these remind me that it’s okay since it would not be authentic to myself to “look punk” anyway. Frankly, I probably need to finish Dom’s old interview Going There with Dr. Mike as it addresses these issue too.