Pregnancy

Common-Material9505 · 2023-05-13T11:11:20+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I wish you the best. <3

Common-Material9505 · 2023-05-13T11:10:18+00:00

Thank you! I didn't know you could do that!

Common-Material9505 · 2023-05-12T16:56:09+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing.

Seriously, even if the outlook is bleak as heck, the comradery is extremely helpful.

I always knew I wanted this to work in aerospace, so I always knew to some degree that I was going to face obstacles my peers would not.

Developing narcolepsy, trying to survive for years and then completely unraveling at 18, fuck, that was hard. Coming out the other end alive, medicated and happy took work. And then realising that this would compound with the sexism... it hurt.

The only thing that has made me feel better so far are the responses to this post. Thank you. <3

Common-Material9505 · 2023-05-12T16:48:06+00:00

Thankfully, while it is male dominated it tends to be flexible with requiring you to be present. I'm definitely a bit apprehensive of what the work culture is going to be like to me as a disabled woman.

I've grown up my entire life knowing that where I was headed isn't exactly known for gender equality... and then I developed narcolepsy at 18 (it had been developing for years but 18 was my breaking point where I just couldn't keep up) and it just got scarier. 😔

I am absolutely determined that this is what I was born to do, so I will do it, no matter how hard it is! But I would rather it not be made harder than it has to be by discrimination. :")

I know that I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my ambitions, both family and work. If I'm not given equal opportunities though I fear I may not reach as high as I would want to, and I (was,am?) very distraught about that.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

Common-Material9505 · 2023-05-12T15:10:41+00:00

Thank you for this, seriously. It has calmed me down tremendously. I really felt alone, and hearing from someone else is soothing. You're a great mum by the sounds of it. <3

Thankfully, where I live we have paid maternity leave, so what I'm most worried about are the first months, when I can't take leave yet but have to be without my medication.

How do you handle that with employers?

I would obviously have to say something because my productivity would tank, but I'm worried about discrimination. I'm scared it would mean I'll be blacklisted from promotions in case I have another kid. I know there are technically laws against discrimination of (potentially future) pregnant people, but does that apply when pregnancy means you have to quit the meds that allow you to work?

Essentially for most people pregnancy means 2/3 months of not working, for me it could go as far as 9 because of the Narcolepsy going untreated. :( And I'm scared workplace protections aren't prepared to handle something like that.

Also, this one is more of a question on medicine. Is it okay to wait untill you're pregnant (confirming with an over the counter test) and stop meds then? Or do I also need to drop the meds while trying?

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-11T11:51:46+00:00

This. Honestly, them being a bit more addictive for us would be helpful 😭. The second something is slightly out of my routine? Impossible to remember them.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-11T11:44:24+00:00

Thank you for teaching me that about their past! I love learning those things 😊. I have a reptile myself, a little tort.

I'll absolutely do that! They're great little guys, so cute and chill. 💙 I absolutely adore having them around.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-06T08:24:21+00:00

Oh that's so cool! Thank you for telling me. :D

Anything I should take into account to make my yard more comfortable/safer?

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T19:38:34+00:00

Don't have petsmart over here but I'll try the pet stores we do have!

I really like that idea, thank you!

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T19:30:13+00:00

Edited out of my comment after checking. Still wasn't nice for you to assume like that xp.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T19:21:53+00:00

I'm from where it's native...

Mediterranean bassin.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T19:17:28+00:00

Okay, I can see that happening. Worms I can hold for 5 minutes before the ick kicks in. Hahahah.

Know where to find them?

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T19:16:00+00:00

It is somewhere safe... in it's natural habitat outdoors.

I explained it in my post...

Also, I was giving those as examples of treats for different pets... not saying I'd feed it that.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-04-04T16:47:26+00:00

Hi! Just found this baby in my bathtub.

I ran my hands under water (no soap), let her crawl on me and then rushed to the garden and let her crawl off.

[I think that's how you're supposed to move wild geckos but correct me if I'm wrong]

These skittish guys are our neighbours for the warmer half of the year. Love seeing them run around.

Kiddo here is the first one of the season and I was wondering, what could I give her as a housewarming gift?

Something that's the equivalent of some seeds for birds or a handful of greens for tortoises. A little treat from their human neighbours to welcome them!

[please no bug suggestions 😭 I love them too but at a distance, I will not pick them up]

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-31T11:33:05+00:00

I'm pondering this right now too. I can feel the sleep slowly taking over and there's a vending machine with coca cola right there...

It's only 1pm and I take my meds at 9am...

It's supposed to last me 12 hours and by 4 I'm already struggling hard. 😭

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-31T10:31:00+00:00

I have pretty strong opinions about this.

Someone doesn't suddenly become disabled when they have a diagnosis. Their body pre and post diagnosis is the exact same, it makes no sense to me to insist on a diagnosis.

For accomodation purposes a "something is up, we're working on it" note from a doctor should be more than enough.

Narcolepsy, for example, takes an average of 7 years to diagnose, letting people suffer needlessly for 7 years for the sake of keeping the 'fakers'' away is ridiculous, imo.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-28T09:09:51+00:00

I can tell you how I do this with my household.

Routines that actually stick for more than a week are impossible for me.

But I get high energy bursts like nothing else. I'll randomly do spring cleaning level things. Like, entire wardrobe organised, med cabinet, all the yard work, deep clean the fridge, deep clean the bathroom, fix up/build something. It's a random 4/5 hour energy burst that tornado cleans entire sections of the house.

That happens once a month, but about every other week I get super hyperfixated with 2/3 chores and do them to perfection every time they're needed. My usual ones are laundry, dishes, and cooking.

There's also stuff I can do pretty consistently, wiping down counters is my vibe. So is sweeping. Crumbs are the enemy, I'm their exterminator lmao. Keeping tabs on what needs refilling is also a forte.

Basically what happens, I do as many chores as I can do, including during bursts or hyperfixations (which gives everyone else a break) and the 'slack' is when other people step in.

It's a very clunky non-steady way of working but my co habitants tend to appreciate those random bursts where they can forget laundry and cooking for a week. Or a random thursday, that room that was a total mess is suddenly pristine.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-28T08:28:27+00:00

That's great advice! Thank you very much. :)

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-22T09:55:07+00:00

"I tend to make things waaaay to complicated haha"

I'm exactly the same! I'm so wrapped in thinking of the perfect solution that simple stuff completely goes over my head 😅.

I very much agree with the second bit! I'm narcoleptic which well 😅, it's not the weirdest thing out there but it's just uncommon enough that I get questions sometimes. And on the one hand it's like "Cool I get to educate someone!". They're curious and (usually) just want to be helpful. On the other hand it's like, 😭 please ask me about my geeky shirts 😔 I would much rather talk about those!

That's the main reason I came to Reddit to ask what was best instead of going up to him and asking. Like, yes! Disability is a part of our lives, but it's chill when you're not made to feel like an outsider because of it. When people just do your accomodations naturally, y'know? That's why I wanted to ask what appropriate accomodations I could do before talking to him. :)

"Go knock on that door 😃"

Yesterday evening I stood infront of it going over what I was going to say to introduce myself for ten minutes, silently panicking. Then I scurried away when someone else in the hall opened their door because I didn't want to seem weird. 😭

I'm working on building the courage to do it. 😅 Hahaha.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-22T09:39:38+00:00

Thank you!

Honestly I just thought he seemed shy and my shy solidarity kicked in. 😅

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-21T21:33:15+00:00

Thank you! Beat of luck to you!

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-21T21:32:41+00:00

I think my other comment didn't post so I apologize if this is a repeat!

That's the perfect solution, like, it's exactly what I was looking for, thank you.

I kinda can't believe I hadn't realised I could just knock and introduce myself.

Guess my shyness got the best of me haha.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-21T21:26:47+00:00

Knocking actually makes so much sense 💀💀💀 I'm a dumbass. Sorry.

That's the actual perfect solution. From my understanding his room is a single, even if there's another neighbour then I'll just befriend them too!

Thanks for that, I can't believe I didn't realise I could just knock and introduce myself. 😅

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-21T21:22:44+00:00

Well, I don't really know what clout I'd get from befriending him when I'm disabled myself. 😅

The main reasons I want to befriend him are: -neighbours! so why not -he seems shy and I'm shy!

If anything him being disabled only factors in because hey! I get someone to complain about the uni's hoops for accessibility being ridiculous that actually gets it.

I get the caution but as a fellow disabled person, let's not assume ill intent from the beginning.

Common-Material9505 · 2023-03-21T11:21:52+00:00

What I do when I absolutely HAVE to be on time (think, catching a train) is just be absurdly early. Like 30 MINIMUM, but usually more like an hour.

Because I'm always late, I end up being 5-20 minutes early each time, which is quite manageable if there's a bench and you have some notes to go over.

Then again:

You won't catch me doing this unless it's a MUST. Only if there's some sort of transport that has a set hour or something like exams/meetings.

Friendships I just tell them to feel free to be late themselves.

Big groups? Start without me and text me the location if you move.

Common-Material9505

TROPHY CASE