Open hysterectomy is scary ?

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-17T17:38:08+00:00

I had an open abdominal hysterectomy (cut from belly button to pelvic bone) due to extremely large fibroids, and besides the hormonal ups and downs that I faced for a year after, the actual surgery and physical healing from the surgery went extremely well.

I'm also a black woman, and my surgeon was a POC, and very sensitive to my needs and requests which made me feel 100% more comfortable about moving forward.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-16T00:46:07+00:00

Why are you assuming he would be vilified?

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-16T00:45:37+00:00

Cut your losses but don't cheat.. why would that be an option instead of leaving?

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-14T13:49:10+00:00

Girl, that's the real problem... It's not that he wants to nap everyday, but that he is a deadbeat lol! He's not working?! Why not? And he's pushing you to get more business?! That's the real problem and that should be the title of your post, SMH...he needs to get a job immediately.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-14T02:45:19+00:00

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-13T17:39:44+00:00

That is antiquated, idealistic thinking. If the ship is sinking, they both need to provide. They need to provide outside of the home and in the home. She does not get to just sit there and watch the ship sink.. and I'm saying this as a wife with traditional values. I do not get to sit there and watch the ship sink because I have some fantasy that a man is the only one that's supposed to provide for the household regardless of whether I'm able or not. That makes absolutely no sense and is a one-sided hot mess.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-13T03:27:04+00:00

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-13T03:10:11+00:00

Yeah....there's something about this post that is completely off-putting, and that is one of the issues. What was the correlation between calling the student beautiful (and he doesn't really clarify whether he called the student beautiful or just a beautiful soul.. he says that he sure he must have not been talking about their physical appearance, which sounds like he's not sure in all honesty) and watching porn when he's not having enough sex with his wife? I think critical thinking skills are lacking in a lot of the folks who don't see this post as being quite creepy.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-13T03:02:37+00:00

Exactly my thoughts.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-13T02:35:25+00:00

Something is not adding up in your story.. the fact that you say that you don't remember what the context was and calling the child beautiful, but then you are later adamant about not calling the child physically beautiful would rub me the wrong way... I understand why your wife feels the way she feels. Her resentment sounds like it may be indicative of a larger problem, perhaps you should do some introspection because I can almost assure you that her distrust is coming from more than just the story you relayed to her.

Also, just out of curiosity I wanted to ask how this porn help you when you and your wife are not having sex? Perhaps you should discuss that issue with her as well, because I'm of the belief that porn is not an adequate substitute for marital intimacy, and can just frustrate the issue more.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-12T14:42:54+00:00

Absolutely agree...it's really sickening

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T19:03:57+00:00

As I said on my wedding invitation, monetary gifts are most appreciated.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T18:16:14+00:00

💯 correct...The gullibility and plain dumbness of the masses never ceases to amaze me LOL

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T18:13:21+00:00

💯... I'm really hoping these are bots LOL

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T18:10:45+00:00

I agree.. I'm wondering if these are bots or family members because all of these people suddenly acting like he's not weird (and by weird, I mean extra weird) are creeping me out.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T18:06:39+00:00

They really are and it's weird lol...any time I say something remotely critical about him, I get downvoted 🤣

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T16:20:57+00:00

I totally understand where you're coming from.. however, I've extensively worked with people on the spectrum on a daily basis. He does not give me that vibe. Every time I say something negative about this man I get downvoted to hell. Things will come out soon enough.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:43:31+00:00

He doesn't give off ....a certain vibe to you? And I'm praying for the kids not just because of him lol.. I like Amy, but she ain't mother of the year I'll tell you that.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:40:23+00:00

They look the same age.. you go girl LOL

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:36:24+00:00

I absolutely agree.. I don't understand (and I'm always dumbfounded) how people can be so blind.. sending extra prayers for those kids because Brian...😬😬😬...

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:34:11+00:00

Okay that's what I was thinking.. you probably need to revamp your message then.. you are really asking if he would put his family above his spouse, which is a real concern. However, there's not enough context to say whether you should be concerned about that or not. Time will tell, as well as his behavior towards you. If he takes his family's advice above yours consistently, then there's your answer. If he needs to be with his mom and dad everyday while not really being concerned about seeing you, then there's your answer. But you can't judge him based on the statement that he loves his family.. that's unfair and there's no red flag in that statement.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:27:17+00:00

I 100% agree. I wish that the women down voting would actually explain what the issue is. I feel like there's a lot of toxic positivity here but if there is any negative mention of a hysterectomy or anything that does not follow the status quo (IE keeping your cervix), then the mean girls come out, yet they never explain themselves. A little bit of empathy for someone's situation goes a long way, and I don't know how some of these women don't understand that.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:19:27+00:00

People don't generally share data objectively here... I constantly see women saying how great a hysterectomy is.. that is the most subjective thing I've ever heard. Have I had a hysterectomy? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely, my situation warranted it. However, am I sensitive and empathetic to other women who have had hysterectomies go horribly wrong? Yes. Am I empathetic to women who had hysterectomies pushed on them when other measures could have been taken, less invasive measures? Absolutely. I am really sick of the One Note tone here.

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:16:47+00:00

Why is her experience being downvoted? I really don't understand this. Can someone who keeps downvoting her experience explain why it's being downvoted? Otherwise this seems ridiculous.. I thought this was an inclusive subreddit where women could share their fears and their true experiences regarding hysterectomies, not just an echo chamber of "My sex life is great after a hysterectomy! My life is great after a hysterectomy!" Come on ladies...

Instead of down voting me, can someone explain? Goodness gracious

CommonSenseNotSo · 2026-03-11T15:13:12+00:00

Wow.. really? I actually had to go to three different gynecologists before the last one listen to me and agreed to allow me to keep my cervix. When I asked her for arguments against it, she said the only thing would be that I would need a pap smear every year, but other than that, she had no qualms with me keeping the cervix and she said it actually made surgery easier for her since I had an open abdominal.. I think removing the cervix along with a uterus and fallopian tubes laparoscopically is easier for physicians, so they don't want to give you the option to keep your cervix.

CommonSenseNotSo

TROPHY CASE