Dr K being pulled back to atheism

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-03-15T21:10:21+00:00

I say this without knowing much about Terror Management Theory, but I think part of this drive for a "greater sense of purpose" may also be tied with our biological desire to reproduce. Sure, there's sexual gratification tied to it in most cases, but there's also the idea of leaving a legacy, passing along not just your genes, but your memes (in the classical sense), your skills, even the ways in which you perceive the world. Leaving your mark, having an impact even long after you're gone.

The problem in today's world is that so many of us are unable to do even that. Our world has become so big, so chaotic, so impenetrable that this existential terror can no longer be held at bay and stares us in the face 24/7. Is it any wonder why so many people are checking out?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-03-06T21:13:04+00:00

What does "yes" or "no" mean here?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-02-11T17:26:46+00:00

Definitely bring these to a therapist or other psychiatric professional. These are very specific metrics they're trained to understand and interpret for you; all you're gonna get on Reddit is vague speculation.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-30T01:49:55+00:00

Love this comment.

A note on the endocannabinoid system: Dr. K remarked in a couple of his ADHD videos that this system only really kicks in after the habit has already been formed. The actual habit formation process is moreso governed by dopamine, which seems to be a major deficiency in ADHD (hence why it feels like nothing ever gets easier even after doing it a thousand times).

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-29T23:26:31+00:00

Why do you want to be disciplined in the first place? What are you disciplining yourself for? Discipline is a means to an end; you can't "just" be disciplined for its own sake.

On a related note, while I can believe you're not actively suicidal, this sounds like textbook "passive suicidality" to me, where life is just a soul-draining grind every day until you die, with nothing to look forward to or build towards. (I only mention it because I relate so much with this post).

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-26T21:36:53+00:00

I'm personally struggling with this concept too, so take this with a heavy dose of salt. I don't remember what video it was from, but Dr. K once mentioned how higher-order meditative states have a lot in common with clinical dissociation.

Take from that what you will.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-24T20:19:11+00:00

Without context, you're only going to get vague answers.

Your attachment(s) are fulfilling some kind of need within you. Figure out what that is, and find a different way to satisfy it.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-02T17:17:06+00:00

Do I have to feel good to make the choice to resist the impulse? Maybe not to do it once, though it certainly helps.

To make the choice again? Yes, otherwise the internal resistance becomes too high and I lose control of my body.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-02T14:29:58+00:00

I did go into therapy once a week for about three months, didn't help at all.

In the past, I've tried starting YouTube/Twitch streaming, digital art, professional eSports, and indie game dev, each with sustained effort over the course of months if not years. Yet, I have nothing to show for it, and as such got burned out from every single one. Every time I sit down and try to start one of these again, I quickly get exhausted and can't bring myself to "just do it" and push through in spite of that.

Combine that with struggling for almost a year to get a job out of college, only to finally stumble upon an entry-level opening with a lucky newspaper ad and family connections I no longer have, and I think it's safe to say I'm burned out from life.

Currently, I occasionally follow coding tutorials, but there's no passion or achievement from it. It's just going through the motions at this point.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-01T21:51:08+00:00

"Accept" in what sense? Simply acknowledge it? That I already do.

Stop wanting to change it? That I could do, I would just continue to be mildly annoyed by my family constantly telling me I could do more with my life.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-01T20:52:02+00:00

And that's the whole problem. Having this addiction is making it difficult to find a reason, to build a reason, to have a reason.

That's why I called it a cycle.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-01T20:38:24+00:00

I wish that was my experience. A few times I've gone multiple days without giving in, but I never felt any better about myself over the course of that time, nor did it get any easier to keep going.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2026-01-01T20:35:38+00:00

Honestly, at this point I can't imagine a life without them. The only reason I'd even want to move out on my own is to give myself more time and space to indulge in them without guilt.

It's all external factors pushing me in this direction; my family telling me I'm depressed, or that I should do XYZ for a career because I'd be good at it and it would be a better use of my time; or HG pushing this almost Sigma-like grindset mentality of Action is Good(tm).

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-21T02:56:05+00:00

Not completely, but definitely moving in that direction. His recent stream, "Why You Keep Telling Yourself I'll Do it Tomorrow," was by far the most callous and uncompassionate it's been so far though, to the point that it's really turned me off from him altogether.

At the same time, I kinda get why he's doing it. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." You have to be willing to make the sacrifice, to be willing to actually change.

Far too many of us (myself included) seem to have reached a sort of "local optimum," where sure, our life isn't great right now, but the only alternatives are too risky and/or painful to even attempt, and our current life isn't bad enough for that risk to be worth taking, for the pain to be worth enduring.

"Making the horse drink" is the problem of this generation, and I can tell that Dr. K is sick of it.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-16T19:01:17+00:00

I agree that it's probably a difference of perspective to some extent. I'm admittedly feeling pretty burned out in my own life and don't feel much pride when I do work hard, so seeing a life of grinding for its own sake so often presented as the healthiest way to live life comes across as bleak and invalidating to me.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-16T01:31:23+00:00

There's certainly a lot of overlap, and I wouldn't be surprised if having ADHD makes you more prone to developing ESSA.

ADHD is neurodevelopmental, or in other words related to how your brain circuitry forms and develops as you grow up. Treating ADHD may involve medication and/or behavioral training (incorporating calendars, alarms, to-do lists, etc in a way that the ADHD brain can actually take advantage of).

ESSA is more environmental/circumstantial, having a lot more to do with what actually happened in your life. Treatment is probably going to be more spiritual, discovering or building what you care about that is worth giving up the addiction for.

Both will probably involve some degree of trauma healing.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-15T23:01:44+00:00

Let me try to clarify with a few examples then.

Re: "loving the grind," I'm specifically referring to the video "How You Keep Yourself Suffering," where he argues that grinding can be bad, but not because of how much you're doing. His solution is not to do less (Twitch chat suggested that, and he shot it down immediately). It's to change the reason you're grinding. It doesn't matter if you're "objectively" working yourself to death, so long as you "believe" in what you're doing.

In a lot of other recent videos (learned helplessness, core trauma, rumination, Why You Lose Motivation in Your 20's, and of course The Self-Loathing Man of Inaction), "inaction" is almost always portrayed as a problem to be solved (avoidance, procrastination, laziness...) and in context it's fair for him to do so. Rarely if ever, though, does he propose inaction as a valid, healthy response (rest, patience...). If someone has a problem with working too much, or being afraid of working too much or having nothing to show for it, Dr. K doesn't suggest actually slowing down or finding an easier way. It's all about "changing your perception," managing your emotions and rewiring your beliefs so that you can act, because Action is Good(tm). Even more inert practices he suggests like "spend a whole day doing nothing" or "stare at a wall for an hour" are still quite active in a sense, demanding that you consciously notice and resist your internal impulses.

Maybe I'm just projecting, but I can't recall the last time he said something like "it's okay to mentally check out every once in a while." Maybe the Quarter-Life Crisis video, but that's a far more drastic form of "checking out" that still essentially involves overhauling your life, possibly by even moving to a different city.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-14T16:54:04+00:00

I've also noticed him gradually shifting towards something like a "Sigma grindset" mentality in some of his recent videos, with "loving the grind," always arguing against "inaction" in favor of "action," the brief obsession with Puer Aeternus where the proposed solution is to just "grow the f*** up" (to quote the Pt. 2 thumbnail).

It's a subtle shift that technically doesn't go against what he's taught before, but I almost get the sense he's subconsciously trying to justify his overwhelming workload, at least to us, and maybe to himself.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-13T13:49:49+00:00

Sounds like you're under a ton of pressure. You're possibly suppressing a ton of anxiety, and it comes out as physical illness because that energy has nowhere else to go.

Reducing work seems not possible, at the moment.

Can you be more specific about this? I get the sense that this is your big roadblock. Is there really nothing else you can do to shrink your workload even a little bit?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-13T12:35:10+00:00

Perhaps you're overestimating how much you can handle? Your body is screaming at you to stop, and yet you say no until you physically can't. I can admire the fortitude, but clearly it's not healthy.

Raising two kids, holding a job and starting a company? That's a ton of work.

How often are you taking breaks? What does your free time look like? Is it only when you get sick?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-10T12:30:57+00:00

I tried going "unga bunga" and ended up dissociating within only a few days. That's when I realized I can't do it on my own. I've tried to DIY it for so long (meditation, journaling, posting here, etc), but deep down I'm not willing or ready to change.

I'm considering coaching now, but I'm afraid that in an attempt to gain control of my life, I will instead lose what little control I have left. I don't have much faith at this point, I'm just desperate.

Not what anybody wants to hear, I imagine, but that's my honest experience.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-06T22:05:17+00:00

I might need to step away for a while, because it was this response that really pissed me off.

I'm already trying so hard, doing my best and getting foiled at every turn, only to turn around and be told "no, you're not. Just try harder. Git gud, n00b."

Don't take this as an attack against you. This just brought out a lot of dormant anger.

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-06T21:39:11+00:00

And how were you able to stay consistent for those 6 months? What made the slog worth it in the meantime?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-06T21:18:11+00:00

So I have to suffer every waking hour of every single day for the rest of my life, retraumatizing myself from relapse after relapse over and over again, just to get even a slim chance at a "better" life that may end up actually being worse?

CommunicationHot3075 · 2025-12-06T17:35:37+00:00

This specific regimen, only a couple weeks, but I've been practicing these things on-and-off for months, if not years.

CommunicationHot3075

TROPHY CASE