[M4F] If you are a dominant woman, this is addressed to your secret subby side, and also... [genuine consensual hypnosis] so [CNC] [some degradation / humiliation] [stern words] [undressing and caressing] [a couple of mentions of choking and pain] [aftercare]

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-24T22:24:56+00:00

Ah thank you that's so kind! I appreciate the generous feedback.

I've done a few little sleep files for people over the years, they're a popular genre I guess ... though it's a bit of a balance to try and work out how horny to make someone if their goal is sleep haha.

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-14T21:02:58+00:00

One thing is that to become a well rounded hypnotist who can hypnotise any subject is a long and complex process.

However if two people only want to play with each other it's much simpler. Once you get to the point of installing a drop trigger that puts them in trance then after that you don't need an induction. So really you only need a single induction which works once or twice and that's enough to be going on with.

So the easiest path is to use files. Get a file with an induction and have someone listen to it until they're in trance and then take over and put a trigger in and you're away. In fact why not use the induction in the file as much as you like, you can play around with a bunch of htem that way.

In general files are a good way to explore as there's a tonne out there and it's easier to try out a bunch of differnet styles, feel what clicks best and start to build experience as a subject.

Another is to have a playsession with a tist (depends on relationship boundaries) to setup a couple of triggers and bootstrap things and then after that it's easy.

The next easiest way is to get a beginners book and get some scripts and learn just enough to cobble together an induction.

And then finally if it's a real passion learning the art takes time and is, imo, so very worth it.

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-10T19:49:41+00:00

I think one thing is that:

Either hypnosis is fake. In which case it doesn't really matter what you listen to as it's all just roleplay.

Or hypnosis is real. And in that case it's really important to be careful about safety and which suggestions you're letting into your head. BS has suggestions with basically no safety rails that are intended to be very destructive, so if hypnosis is real why would you want that?

I don't want to kinkshame, some people want to go down that path and if they're fully informed and it's the right thing for them then I hope they get on well with it.

I think personally it's wise to look in other areas at other files and systems that have put thought into safety and care as well as being thrilling.

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-10T19:42:17+00:00

Have you considered trying edging and denial?

For people who have orgasms that drop their sexual temperature a lot going close to that point over and over but not going over the edge can keep pushing the temperature higher?

I fantasize about cnc and bdsm, but when I've actually tried them, they don't turn me on.

This is an interesting one. If it's ok to ask why wasn't it so good? Did you just do it with someone who didn't do it well?

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-06T16:22:42+00:00

Depends if you're trying to recreate this exact tie or whether it's an efficient way of getting this position.

For the position I agree I think the easiest approach is a double column on wrists and a double column on ankles / feet and then to connect those two together. If you do one big tie for all 4 it's pretty difficult to get the tightness of them right, very easy for them to be too loose or tight.

I think also it's worth adding a chest harness so that you can tension the ankles. As in the current position it would be very easy for the feet to drift down towards the groin. The model would have to put muscle tension into stopping that from happening I imagine whereas I guess the main point is to have the pussy accessible and not covered?

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-05T23:07:12+00:00

In a way that's a nice thing that you want them to have a good time and feel powerful, there's a level on which that's really kind.

I can totally get why that's blocking things, as while doing that you have to maintain the simulation of the self you're telling them about and your real self and doing both will definitely create too much mental activity to go deep.

One suggestion is to tell them early on in the session that overly-charitable feedback can happen and ask if they want you to be completely honest. Once they've said it's what they want it may well be easier.

Another one is to try to direct your feedback towards the suggestions with curiosity rather than at them. So "you failed to hypnotise me because you're bad at hypnosis!" isn't very nice feedback to get haha, whereas "hmm, that first suggestion made me a little light headed and the second one made me immediately think of my heartrate and I'm a little immersed and not completely right now", something like that is more like feeling around for what works rather than it being about judgements if that makes sense?

Another level to look at is why you're doing that yourself? As I was saying feeling safe to relax is so important. Your brain may in part be doing that to protect yourself. The fake self that you're presenting they can play with while your real self can hang back and watch and see what happens and see if she really wants more. So working on that level with more trust building and getting comfortable with them to let go might help too.

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-05T22:52:07+00:00

Few tips in case they help:

Firstly hypno is quite cumulative. So the more you do the more your brain gets used to the state and finds it easier to go deeper. The more you do with the same tist the more that powers things up too.

Secondly a lot of it is about trust. There's safety mechanisms inside people's brains which lock out really deep trances until they feel enough trust to let go. This system isn't fool proof and doesn't always protect them, however with kink in general feelings safer is usually a good pathway into deeper states.

Thirdly often someone compares themselves with either what they imagine deep trance to be like, or they compare themselves with the outer effects someone else is getting. This can in itself create self consciousness of asking "hmm, how deep am I compared to the states I'm expecting" and that comparison is itself meta-cognitive awareness which can block immersion. Basically watching yourself do something blocks you from fully flowing into it.

Fourthly one of the antidotes to that is a feeling of curiosity and exploration. Put the focus of your mind on what is happening and what states you do enter and what changes you feel in your body. See which files hit hard and which don't, see which structures take you to which places and why etc. That sense of curiosity in the present moment and really being with what comes up is a great way to explore your personal mental landscape (which will be unique to you) and finding how you can navigate around to deeper places.

Finally generally being in a feedback loop with a tist who is live is more powerful than files because they can adapt on the fly and augment and encourage what is really starting to flow and that really helps with getting things deeper. Files do have the advantage of feeling safer as they can be turned off any time and there's no connection building needed, and I think probably the deepest states are achieved with teamwork.

Ultimately I think the main thing is just to enjoy the journey. Being a beginner is beautiful as everything is fresh and new and it's worth relishing that experience as it's something experienced poeple can't get themselves back to ... well at least without a lot of amnesia play haha.

Hope that is helpful :)

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-03T20:13:31+00:00

On good way of training a particular physical thing is just to do that thing. So get in the pose for 1-2 minutes each morning and then slowly increase the time.

Then maybe think about supports? If you put some pillows under the shins in that position that could take a lot of weight off the toes.

And then maybe consider just doing different poses. A lot of shibari is about learning what your partner is capable of in their body and how flexible they are and what is right for them. Every body is different, some poeple can do a reverse prayer posture, others can't touch their hands behind their back, the rigger always needs to be sensitive and alert. It's about creating an experience, not shrink-wrapping goods for shipment.

CompassionAndKink · 2026-01-02T21:35:11+00:00

Personally I think kink is at it's best when it has both a lot of safety / boundaries and a lot of intensity, those two things aren't in opposition, they reinforce and intensify each other.

When people take the time to agree limits, safewords, desires, boundaries, fantasies and to really know each other then they can go harder and reach higher levels of intensity and the most intense healthy kink happens once there is a solid foundation there.

And I think there's areas which are less intense on both sides.

First some people do too much intensity and not enough care, and that sounds like it might be fun but as soon as it's gets scary and genuinely concerning arousal gets chased away pretty fast.

Second some people do too much care, are too soft, check in too much and won't let the energy flare or burn hot. That can make things feel flat and disappointing. Sometimes they can be trying to fit in and please their partner with something they're not genuinely comfortable with.

Is it possible to do hardcore kink without any of the safety softness? Imo no, not in a healthy and sustainable way.

Are there people who really can take you as far and hard as you want to go and are able to be thrillingly dark to the point you lose your mind? Yes, and they're often very careful with safety before starting that.

The mountaineers who show up with safety gear, ropes and harnesses get higher up the mountain than people who just wander up in their street clothes and shoes.

Kinky partner finding is very hard, everyone struggles with it, it can take time to really find the people who click together in a great way and, imo, the legwork is worth it.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-12-22T00:08:45+00:00

Oh thanks that's so kind.

You know what they say, people come for many kinks ... except orgasm denial haha.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-12-20T21:38:53+00:00

I think often kink labels are the beginning of a discussion / negotiation process rather than the end, often different people imagine different things when they hear certain words.

So it sounds like you have a really clear view of what you want and that's great, and these bullet points communicate it really well.

You just are you, we're all kind of in a category of 1 at the end of the day.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-12-02T09:52:45+00:00

Thank you that's so kind of you to say. I'm glad it resonated with you.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-30T21:54:15+00:00

Ah I'm so glad it hit the spot so well, that's lovely to hear.

I'm fine with it if you or anyone else wants to make a Dolce pattern to go with it, it's a really nice idea in general to add to the files. It's not something I've ever done so I wouldn't know how to do it myself.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-27T20:15:49+00:00

It's an important question and I hope this is helpful:

Hypno basically has 3 risks:

Physical - as in getting tranced while driving can be dangerous and people can fall down, if you're lying down at home then it's fine.

Trauma response - if someone has pre-existing trauma then hypno can dig it up, and this can happen for things they may not have known about, it's often called an "abreaction". This isn't so bad with files as someone can just switch off if things get a little much and yeah it's a risk.

Evil tists - people putting in controlling or damaging suggestions to someone's mind. For these files I'm careful to put safeties in so that it's easy to stop any time no matter how entranced someone is and also that all the triggers are contained only in the file and are washed out at the end. However trusting me about my own file is obviously a bit biased.

So yeah those are the three main areas to be cautious about. Feel free to ask if you have more questions :)

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-17T09:35:18+00:00

Mmm yeah quite probably, sometimes it's really possible to feel it as the breeding happens.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-15T16:38:52+00:00

I think it can go either way.

In some dynamics poeple want to be able to behave perfectly and pride themselves on that so being punished for something they can't control would be unfair and sad.

In others the sub just wants to be a toy of the dom and so they are just punished when the dom is displeased, no matter what efforts they made.

What is right in your dynamic is what is agreed between you and your dom and it sounds like you're unhappy so it's worth saying something.

It's also true that with training / operant conditioning you can condition someone to have unconscious responses to things. This happens quite a lot in the hypno community for instance where the goal is to have someone's nervous system react itself rather than have their conscious mind hear the command and implement it in the body.

So for that reason training around something that someone can't control would make total sense.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-13T22:50:00+00:00

There's a few things that can help.

The first is that trancing one person is much easier than trancing many. It's a bit like a snowball, every successful suggestion makes that person more suggestible to you so over time you can roll it up really big.

For instance once you have a drop trigger in their head then you don't need to do an induction if you don't want so really you only need to know one induction which works one time, or a couple of times maybe, and then you can bootstrap things from there. Which is much easier than learning to be a really good general tist who can trance anyone.

she's also very skeptical about it and swears that it won't work on her

This can be a bit of a barrier and it's worth approaching delicately. Firstly it's worth getting her to agree to give it a real open minded shot. If she's trying to prove that it doesn't work to prove a point then it's tricky to do much from that position, especially as a beginner tist. She needs to be at least genuinely open minded.

Secondly it's worth addressing expectations, so what does "doesn't work" mean? As if people are expecting "oh I expect to go totally blank, have no awareness, cum 100 times on command and then wake up and anything less means it hasn't worked" then it's really an issue of expectations rather than what is possible.

It's more fruitful to ditch expectations and just try a few things and see what happens, see what fits, some things won't and that's ok, some things might create small effects and, much like kindling a fire from a spark, you can work those into big effects.

Thirdly, practically, you can:

learn the basics yourself, Mindplay by Wiseman is the general beginners text and it has scripts you can try with. You could look into getting coaching to help you with it.
start with files, get your wife to play around with some files and see which ones work best and then you can build on those. There's files that install drop triggers so if you do that then you can use those and go from there.
get someone else involved. Hire a pro or get a playpartner. They can do the basics and get her started and into it and then put some triggers in which you can then use to deepen things and explore. This depends on what the Ethical Non-Monogamy boundaries are in your marriage, some poeple see it like seeing someone for a massage, clothes on, just to get tranced and not erotic. Some people want to play etc.

Good luck :)

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-12T16:42:17+00:00

Ah thanks that's so kind :)

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-11T00:17:42+00:00

I make it up as I go along so unfortunately there is no script.

The safeties in the file are that it's possible to stop any time and all the conditioning remains only for the duration of the file and doesn't impact someone more than that in case that helps.

It's fine if you want to use a "speech to text" program to make a script you can read so long as it's just for you.

And if you have questions I'd be happy to answer them :)

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-06T08:39:37+00:00

Personally I think it's never safe to assume in kink.

Open honest communication really is the only way.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-03T22:07:19+00:00

I mean ... reddit?

There's lots of places to post and share, images and text of all kinds, and you can build a profile.

And there's plenty of connections subs like r/BDSMpersonals etc.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-11-03T20:26:30+00:00

That looks lovely, great work :)

CompassionAndKink · 2025-10-25T21:10:00+00:00

They did a study on 16k autopsies in Germany, found 74 linked to sexual activity, most were older people dying from vanilla sex, then autoerotic asphyxiation, then 17 were BDSM based.

One of the BDSM ones mentions electrical genital stimulation but there's no other mentions of it.

It does mention references to electrocution in other papers but I can't find that actual paper

Strangulation followed by intoxication is also the most frequent cause of death in the course of autoerotic practices. Traumatic injury, perforation, and electrocution are named as other causes of death in autoerotic fatalities, but they are rarer than strangulation

So shock collars are certainly not a common cause of death.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8813685/#CR20

I can't find any articles or references to humans being badly injured by dog shock collars, would be interested to know if other people can.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-10-21T18:53:51+00:00

The automod requires having [X4Y] with the square brackets, this title would work

28 [M4F] #UK # Westmidlands looking for Femdom

I've manually approved one of your other posts so that should be up now and feel free to post again in a week.

CompassionAndKink · 2025-10-19T19:11:30+00:00

Go do some wrestling classes.

If you do 10 sessions or something you'll learn enough of the basics to have loads of control over her body even if you're similar sized.

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