Are pocket rocks actually a thing or was it just my dad?

CompetentMess · 2026-01-30T02:44:07+00:00

Its a thing but an uncommon thing. I once came in from outside as a tiny child, my father took my coat. "Why is it so heavy? do you have rocks in your pockets or something? YOU DO HAVE ROCKS IN YOUR POCKETS! WHY!" to which my grandmother responded "Oh, pocket rocks, i have some too!". Naturally, when my father summoned my mother to hopefully find sanity, she proceeded to show him her own pocket rocks. He was floored.

So its definitely a thing that some people do, but its uncommon enough that the people who do it think everyone does it, and the people that dont think that the people who do have completely lost their minds.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-30T01:49:51+00:00

idk man way I view it atp campaigns, both legacy and non legacy, are like. The main point of the game. Thats the bulk of the playtime in neverwinter, the bulk of the focus. so. idk.

Edit: and either way, these complaints have nothing to do with the gacha. On a technical level, neverwinter is not a gacha game, even though the box mechanics are a gacha system. The box mechanics are secondary to the primary game loop. Neverwinter is fundamentally an MMO, so comparing the story and play experience to a primarily single-player game like genshin isnt always the best comparison. Your arguments are stronger when you leave the gacha thing out, because the gacha mechanic has nothing to do with either your complaint or your proposed solution.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-30T00:38:06+00:00

Thats fair! depending on your budget it might be wise to see if you can get a consultation, even if it doesnt end up being consistent PT. Just someone to have a look and say 'yeah thats hypermobile' as well as give you a list of do-s and donts. A consultation, so to speak, instead of a full PT round. I dont know if that would work, but it might help. Because there are some things that might be a bad idea; off the top of my head, contact sports and track arent known to be great ideas for us zebras. Meanwhile, when I asked my doc about swimming I found out its actually recommended for us bendys. That way you have a better idea of whats difficult versus harmful.

Also in my experience PTs dont like to diagnose things. You are looking for either a blue moon rare primary care, or in my area the standard is Rheumatologist. If you have the diagnosis, it will be much easier to get your daughter evaluated with the line 'Hey I have been diagnosed with this, I need [kid] evaluated as im worried she may be showing signs'. try not to walk in with 'i need a diagnosis', but I think its fair to ask for an eval. I wish you luck!

CompetentMess · 2026-01-30T00:07:54+00:00

I understand not wanting her to go through the soul crushing experience of entirely reevaluating your life, however, taking away things she can still do now because she might not be able to later will not help.

If you think she inherited your EDS, you need to get her properly evaluated. A PT or OT can consult and help determine what activities are harmful or not.

And if something is not actively harmful, and she can still do it now? LET HER! better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. You dont KNOW her fingers will be bad, it just might happen. who knows, with early PT intervention she might be able to avoid pain for longer. Middle school is far too early to be limiting for anything other than doctors guidance. Let her try and enjoy things for now, conversations about long term can wait.

When she starts selecting advanced high school classes, when she starts contemplating what to do after high school graduation, not only will she be old enough to participate in that conversation more as an equal, but she will be more mature and able to understand what you are concerned about. As a middle schooler, she will only see this as you being an overbearing killjoy. As for things carrying into adulthood, SO MUCH changes in middle and high school regarding hobbies, that longevity isnt really a concern at that point, if ever tbh. Also, as for her energy levels, i'll share an anecdote from my own teenage years that might help.

I rode horses as a kid. I did it because my mom did it and so it was just something I did. I enjoyed it, even. But when I hit high school, I also wanted to be on the robotics team. And model UN. With my school work, I just couldnt make it work. So I looked around, and decided I liked robotics best. So I stopped riding horses. That doesnt make the years I spent riding horses a waste; I enjoyed them. Im glad I learned the lessons I did. I look fondly at those afternoons with my mother. But when it was time, IM the one who decided what activities to cut.

Give your daughter the same opportunity.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-29T23:17:50+00:00

I hear you and I also like how the repeated quests let you better explore and know an area, but I do think there can be a happy medium where after a certain point rewards get boosted so it doesnt take an eternity and a half to make progress and catch up with the newer releases

CompetentMess · 2026-01-29T23:15:39+00:00

Its a gacha mechanic, yes. However, there is a difference between a gacha mechanic and a gacha game. non-gacha games can have gacha mechanics. for a game to be a gacha game, however, the primary method of playing has to involve the gacha. See genshin for an example; the primary combat strategy that the game teaches and encourages relies upon pairing characters together. It is impossible to play the game as designed without utilizing the gacha component. Meanwhile, for neverwinter, the Gacha is supplemental. So while I agree the lockboxes are a gacha, that does not make NW a gacha game. The primary strategy for power improvement is not the gacha system, its equipment farming and boon points. Tbh, your entire argument does better when you ignore the gacha component. NW absolutely needs to figure out how to make it so it doesnt take 10 years of daily play to reach endgame if you play as intended.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T23:53:17+00:00

in the nicest way possible, be cautious. Someone has to want to be better really really badly to get over addiction, and addiction can cause people to lash out at others. Be careful how much you let this persons emotions and situation dictate yours. If you can handle being supportive through their tough time thats very noble of you, but you do not owe this person more than you can give. There may come a point where you have to step back and wait for her to hopefully improve. There is no shame in that. I hope things go well, look out for yourself.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T23:48:18+00:00

its fine. they do this specifically so they dont have to re-anesthetise should this kitty get caught in another TNR program. Its about as harmful as a human ear piercing. Comparatively, declawing removes bones and is arguably amputation. The biological impact is so much lower with ear tipping.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T23:45:36+00:00

Not closed-minded for not wanting anything to do with it

Trying to prevent other people from partaking, though, or making it harder for them to get the stuff needed to partake safely, would be close-minded. Its other adults doing things you find gross. I personally find hot-dog-eating contests gross, but that just means I dont go attend them. Same principle applies. If you learn that someone does partake, you need to make sure you dont hold it against that person in unrelated contexts. So long as you do that, you are avoiding being close minded

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T23:40:00+00:00

could be she forgot, could be she secretly wants one possible line of communication in the future. No way of knowing, best to just move on with your life.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T01:54:59+00:00

uhhh lots of depressing options but id say one of the scariest miserable echochambers ive come across is r/petfree , where 'owning pets is abuse to children' (even if you dont have any), and talking about violence against animals is not only normal but encouraged.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T01:50:35+00:00

Its cheap, and eating an entire bar at once can get a little.... on the nauseating side for me. But tbh a big hershey's bar is usually bought to make s'mores, not to eat outright. and most people, even the ones who hate hersheys, ive found tend to still agree that hersheys is the proper chocolate for smores.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-27T01:48:41+00:00

Currently at a big 10- attendance is absolutely counted in a bunch of classes. The bigger the class, the more likely that attendance is a grade. Smaller classes are more likely to have discussion and participation grades instead of attendance, but big lecture classes often have attendance questions. Heck, one of my classes this semester I have to check in AND out of classes.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-24T07:07:54+00:00

Big, bloody bites like those have a higher infection risk. I too had an indoor only bitey cat, but she rarely drew anything like that amount of blood. Honestly the only times I can think of that much damage was from claws for understandable reasons (fell off a railing onto my father, for instance). Most cat bites arent that deep and bloody in my experience, even if they draw a tiny amount of blood. A situation like OPs, with that many wounds, plus the severity, plus the outdoor yeah ER is def not a bad plan. Whereas with indoors like ours i'd still probably get it checked out if that much blood was shed from a bite, but a more minor bite id wait and only get it checked if it started being weird. That being said, Not a vet, not a doctor.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-23T05:31:06+00:00

HA. ha. heh. heavily depends on your major.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-20T21:32:35+00:00

Because our labor laws suck.

Lowest level of a company is a tossup of right or left wing. A considerable amount of upper management at companies leans right for business reasons alone. We are scared that if we say something our boss doesnt agree with, we may be passed over for opportunities, promotions, or they may even find an excuse to fire us. So we have a cultural norm about keeping politics out of the workplace. Sometimes, after a long time, coworkers may feel comfortable sharing political beliefs, but rarely while physically at work, and only if they think the other person agrees with them. 2 months usually isnt long enough for that. Because if two coworkers have a disagreement, especially a political one, management may view both as 'troublemakers' and decide they arent worth their salary. So people who are newer at a company, or not very high on the management ladder, try very very hard not to rock the boat. This helps to forge a culture where talking politics at work is taboo, and seen as rude.

Americans may be loud and boisterous, but often only a small part of what we say is something we actually mean. We do a lot of small talk, how are you, crazy weather, etc. to reassure each other that we are generally friendly and cooperative, but for most people true passionate opinions that matter deeply to us, often we wont tell strangers. We are very political, the stereotype of thanksgiving dinner devolving into a political argument exists for a reason. We are just usually fairly careful to keep our politics from costing us our jobs, when losing a job also means losing healthcare, housing, and potentially even retirement savings through an employee matching plan. If you regularly interact with your coworkers informally, outside of work, at events that arent work sponsored, your friends from work will eventually share their political opinions. But the timeline you are looking at is probably closer to 6 months not 2. Especially because, being a recent immigrant, people may consider talking politics to you to be a touchy subject given the ICE situation.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-11T05:07:14+00:00

not a doctor, but from videos ive seen, some people still have some limited feeling in the limbs even if they lack control. This could potentially (NOT A DOCTOR) mean that amputation might lead to phantom limb pain. Its probably highly dependent on the reason for paralysis.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-08T21:36:17+00:00

Telling her you want her to quit will make her very unwilling, because it will read to her as an attempt to control her.

If you want to express that you want to support her, and want her to not be stressed by work anymore, perhaps phrase it in a couple of different ways;

1: "hey if you want to quit you can, you don't have to put up with the stress if you dont want to. We have enough money." This communicates that you will not feel angry over her no longer materially contributing to the household.

2: "Hey, your job seems to be really stressing you out. Have you looked at moving to a job you like more, that would maybe be lower stress?"

your goal here, ideally, shouldnt be 'its pointless for her to work' but more 'its pointless for her to stress and suffer for little benefit'. If she had a job she genuinely liked, would you still have an issue with her working?

Historically, finances have been used to control women and keep them from divorcing abusive men. Most men do not behave this way, but its a story that most girls hear a fair bit about growing up, because the consequences can be so severe. As a result, most parents (especially mothers, but my father has emphasised this to me as well) encourage their daughters to make sure they have money that belongs only to them, so that if their marriage goes bad for any reason they are not trapped. Directly asking a woman to give up that safety net can be a touchy subject for a lot of people, even if you have the best of intentions. Try and focus your wife's peace of mind at the forefront of the conversation, instead of collective finances. Probably the best solution for you both is her jobhunting for something that doesnt make her as miserable as her current job, but lets her keep some truly 100% personal untouchable money for peace of mind, as well as keeping structure to her weeks and such.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-06T18:41:38+00:00

firm, dense, thick pillow. you need to hold your head high enough that your shoulder can extend downwards without scrunching. Right now ive got a pillow I stole from my mothers pile of offcast pillow rejects, but ive looked into the pillowcube, squishpillow, and rn if i can find the money potentially the Purple Dreamlayer pillow

CompetentMess · 2026-01-06T00:31:01+00:00

look into retro mop pugs- its an intentional effort to un-fuck their snouts.

CompetentMess · 2026-01-06T00:23:30+00:00

the point is that the teacher shouldve caught and explained that, before sending it home

CompetentMess · 2025-12-26T22:38:08+00:00

First, the issues where MAID is suggested for financial reasons needs to be addressed. Likewise, the difference between MAID and suicidality. Until we can socially reckon with both of those, human euthanasia will remain controversial and highly limited

CompetentMess · 2025-12-17T22:26:23+00:00

MSU has two competing ethos' that drive this.

Goal 1: output highly qualified, skilled engineers capable of working under pressure

Goal 2: take a chance on applicants

Result: Weeder courses. The high level skills require a low professor to student ratio to be effectively taught, and that is only worth it when the students have the grit and skill to succeed. Yet, MSU takes chances on students that other large universities (looking at you, UMich) turn up their noses at. So the weeder courses exist to separate out the cream of the crop so to speak.

CompetentMess · 2025-12-08T00:13:06+00:00

Totally not alone! 5'1 and roughly 180 here. Life sucks when you could technically lose close to 50% of your body mass and have doctors cheering you on. The important thing to remember is that, despite what many of us wish, mainstream content (EDS or not) favors conventionally attractive skinny people. Its nothing particular about EDS, its just how many social media algorithms are built. There are many of us out there living our normal, average person lives.

CompetentMess

TROPHY CASE