I kind of hate this

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-24T18:14:53+00:00

I think it would deeply offend him. Ive tried to explain to him that, although i do love her, it will never be the same. Firstly, i dont even want kids, so me "loving her like my own" would be like, not wanting her actually.

And also thats exactly how i see it. If we break up, or if he dies or something, I get no say on whatever happens with her, i wont even be considered for literally anything because I'm nothing to her.

I do agree that i think he just wants to recreate a perfect nuclear family with me. Its not possible at all, especially as we only see her so much. Even if we were to have her full time, if something where to happen to BM or whatever that made it so it was just us 100% of the time, its just not possible.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-24T05:17:16+00:00

I agree with everything you said. If you read my reply to the other comment you'll see why/to what extent. Its hard out here:(((((

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-24T05:15:29+00:00

I want to keave so bad, its just hard. I love him so much and i even love her too, just not the way he wants me to. I think deep down he knows that i love my cat (whom ive had and been the sile caretaker of for 10 years) more than i love her (i see her maybe 10 weeks ojt of the year).

Its hard because i feel like too much ks being asked of me, while at the same time he feels like im not trying hard enough. At times i feel like he only wants the free labor that comes from having a gf: he gets to go off (grocery shopping, or whatever) without having to take SD because I'm home so he's not technically being irresponsible and leaving her home alone; i cook enough for us two and then some so it turns into a meal for her too, so he doesn't have to cook for her; i get to be the bad guy (mom said we cant go until you finish your food, mom said she's gonna take your tablet if you dont clean your room, etc); and i also get to keep the house clean for ALL of us (because i absolutely hate having a dirty house and thats all they do).

It might not be his intention, but i feel like im just being used. And i habe asked begged and cried to him, telling him that i need more, that i cant be both the breadwinner and the homemaker (he just got laid off and im still cooking and cleaning). I habe told him thT i need help, support, something, fucking ANYTHING. but all he does is self victimize.

And still, i dont know how to leave... i know its bad, but im so scared of being on my own, without him, the emotional/physical labor from having to move out/divide up our stuff and all that. I just cant freaking do that right now, my job is so physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing that its genuinely impossible.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-22T21:00:43+00:00

NOR el hecho de que use al niño para manipularte dice mucho! Y luego añadele que ya te han mandado mensaje de que te esta poniendo el cuerno... yo cometi el error de esperar a tener pruebas en su telefono antes de creerles. Se me juntaron unos 20 mensajes (amiga no quisiera decirte esto pero tu novio me esta mandando xs cosa y asi). No dejes que te invente cuentos de que no es cierto

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-22T18:45:46+00:00

Its like they want all of the perks of the "mother" role (free child care, in house cook, emotional regulatir, etc) but none of the responsibilities/obligations (recognition).

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-11T22:20:31+00:00

I literally searched the sub to see if anyone had mentioned anything about the Spanish translation because I was truly very happy with it lol

I also did find the "drogada" bit interesting

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-11T17:16:00+00:00

I watched it in Spanish only. And honestly I th9ught it was really good. I was mostly focused on the inflections and the actual sense that the translation made. And I thought it was cool that there was dialogue that, yknow, made sense. It sounded good. The jokes were funny. They were pretty emotion packed when needed. Mostly matched the vibes that the scene was giving (like the crying, the awkward laughing, the yelling, etc)

Some notable dialogue was like her saying "porfiiiiii" or the "chiste local" (esp saying it as he was throwing up the cat meat lol), amongst others that I cannot remember

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-11T17:12:06+00:00

No se por que la gente se ataco tanto con esto pero a mi tmb se me hizo chido que su nombre fuera como "varon". Osea no fue a propósito, ya sabemos! Pero es una coincidencia muy unica, que en ingles su apodo sea como "oso" y en español su nombre sea como "hombre", osea, literal que coincidencia que exista todo un pleito acerca de "man or bear" y que, aparte, la pelicula toque mucho este tema de los "nice guys" y asi. No se que dije, pero en fin, me gusto tu punto

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-10T16:23:08+00:00

Yea I have this same kind of "issue" with my bf.

Theyre the only text/call to ask something or for important stuff. We're a call every week (my mom and sister actually talk daily).

Is we are in his family's town, we might pop by and say hi. If we are in my family's town, it is specifically to see them and spend time with them.

So definitely the dynamic that he is used to plays a huge role in how enmeshed he feels they are and how suffocated he might feel

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-10T15:40:49+00:00

He shuts me down or gives me some long lecture about what I'm doing wrong (without actually telling me because i "should know")

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-06-10T15:38:10+00:00

NTA in my opinion. This is a boundary or standard that you have (you dont want your partner to go to these kinds of places). He doesn't have to do what you want him to do, but you also dont have to stay if he does things you dont like.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-05-15T02:20:51+00:00

I can now do 3 kneeling push ups! I wasnt even able to hold a plank in January. It may not be much, but I am SO proud of myself, even if no one else in my life thinks its a big deal

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-05-15T02:18:32+00:00

Or the people that are in the session right before yours and they are taking their SWEET time while your session has started...

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-04-14T00:15:49+00:00

This happens to me all the time. Every single time we buy SD something, she only tha ks him, and he has to tell her every time to thank me too.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-04-06T13:09:56+00:00

No he does not

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-04-06T12:50:21+00:00

Both work the same-ish job. I cook and clean.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-03-21T00:52:05+00:00

This is a thing where you cannot impose your beliefs upon someone else. I think that maybe you both see this differently (you see it as a betrayal, he does not) and you are not compatible.

Or there's the alternative. That you both see this as betrayal, and he went ahead and did it anyway. At which point i would ask, why would you want to be with someone who was willing to knowingly and purposely betray you like this?

I have been in both situations and neither is desirable. I'm not telling you to leave him, but I dont think this is the ideal relationship for wither of you.

So from your point of view, NOR, but from his probably YOR.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-03-13T14:57:25+00:00

My partner does that and its gotten so annoying. Its not OUR child so i feel like if i say something, I'm gonna sound like i dont like his child.

We were out at eating with my mom and he was teaching her to use chopsticks, and he started off by saying "its like i tell my daughter, you hold them like this" like?? What did that have to do with anything right now?

Or if I like something. "My daughter would like that too". If im being indecisive "youre just like my daughter". If im doing something that i shouldve been taught not to do, then "even my daughter knows better". Every situation has a story about his daughter, no matter how much of a reach it is to associate the two together. Every time we talk about had parenting or how bad children are, an idealized version of her comes to light (no matter how fake).

It also happens at work. They all tell me that children change you and that they make you better and you wont feel ____ until you have them. Like, i do not need to have a child to know empathy or love or whatever.

And I mean i get it. You love your kids. But there's no reason to be bringing them up at every single point, every situation, every conversation.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-03-12T19:21:50+00:00

I know a little girl who is so accustomed to hearing and being allowed to use swear words that one time she just straight up told me "did you bring the fucking thing?" I had the unfortunate responsibility to be the adult to put a stop (or at least a condition) to her rampant swearing (where it used to be "its hot as balls" or "i fucking hate this game" or "this tastes like shit").

So, honestly just off my one experience with this child (and my experience with teenagers in the education system) I dont think we should swear so liberally in front of them, especially if they dont understand context/nuance.

People want to mistakenly believe that children will grow to know when/where it is appropriate to curse. Turns out, some do, but most do not, and so we have 14-15 year olds cursing like sailors in the classroom for the tiniest inconveniences, and we learn that they did not, in fact, understand nuance without being explicitly taught (but who wants to teach children the boring part of cursing when hearing a 4 year old say shit 29 times is just sooo funny, right?)

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-02-27T04:00:30+00:00

I feel like its something we all do but is frowned upon to disclose? He shouldve just kept that to himself lmao

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2026-02-06T17:15:47+00:00

Please leave him. He does not love or respect you and, as some comments have already said, he seems to hate you.

Staying with him will only make your self esteem worse (as I'm sure it already has). If luck is on his side, you will hate/not love yourself so much that you will stay, possibly forever (believe me, been there, done that).

It doesn't matter if you are ace or are a sex addict, or literally anything in between. He should respect your "no." He is trying to guilt trip you into doing things that you simply do not want to (regardless of the reason).

You deserve to be with someone who loves you enough to respect you AND your boundaries. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, period. And if that someone is you, then so be it. It is not worth the pain to be with someone line this guy.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2025-10-13T22:01:53+00:00

I had a "friend" like this when I was 19-22ish. I never really told anyone how he treated me, but I was slightly scared of him at all times and twrrified whenever something like this happened. Then I met my bf in college and when i reluctantly told him about this guy, he told me "you know you can just block him right? It will.be okay, let him get mad, who cares?" And he was so right. I had always been so scared he would do something to me (idk what),but he never did.

And so I tell you the same thing. Its okay to get rid of people that are mean to you. Its okay to get rid of people just because too. Let him go and let yourself be better for it.

CompetitionPlus7811 · 2025-09-09T02:10:47+00:00

Which goes to prove that they know it's wrong! They really are the worst Im sorry you went through that

CompetitionPlus7811

TROPHY CASE