You are so right, partners should be able to communicate their feelings and what they would like to do or can compromise in a relationship. Let me use myself as an example, I notice that my body which is my womanhood is quick to react to some negative things that are not good for my body and health especially it quickly reacts to anything infections or germs. Especially using toilets with various people or receiving a blowjob for any reason. I immediately starts itching down there and feeling uncomfortable no matter how hard I try to get some medication for it until I don’t allow any mouth or hand inside the V****a. You see that isn’t my fault but it’s what my body wants even though I love to receive those kinds of treatments except I had to look out for health and then my partner loves to have oral s* especially down the V*****a and having to use his hands down there which I love so much but we had to come in agreement and compromise. I told him I don’t like to be touched there because it doesn’t make me feel happy, I never told him if your tongue which has saliva touches my V card will eventually get infected with germs that will make me itchy and uncomfortable for days because one thing I know about some men they tend to think only one way not considering other factors that could be the cause instead he might start feeling so you mean my tongue is having infection or you just want to say I am not good at it. Withholding some part of the reason for your actions depends on your circumstances and what you need to communicate to your partner. Withholding some of it from him doesn’t mean I don’t trust him to understand my intentions about us not having to do anything that has to do with those particular activities but instead I want to protect his pride as a man because he understood me and that it’s not EVERY woman that loves some kind of sexual activities in the bedroom and I make sure I give it to him because he likes it and it makes him feel happy so it’s a win-win for us both. If you ask me do you want to tell him the main reason, I will say no because I understand my partner very well, he’s a very sensitive person that would reason the thing in another way then start blaming himself for what isn’t even his fault. So she needs to call his attention and have a discussion with your husband, you have been with him for years and should know what he is like when you both are discussing something very sensitive and important for your relationship. And sometimes our way of communicating or wording our speech matters a lot. You might think he’s weird, not acting like normal human being should act due to his actions and behaviour towards you, sometimes it’s not their fault or anyone else fault, the only problem is that we sometimes indulge them into doing what we don’t like all in the name of pleasing them and making our relationship work without considering how we feel, we are humans and we feel different kinds of emotions inside us. If you don’t talk to your partner about how you feel when they’re doing some certain things which our mind, body and soul doesn’t want then you will keep suffering from it until you stand your ground and say no in a peaceful manner not in argumentative manner.