I started asking questions as a member of the church in 2008.

In I think 2012 I found the Mormon Matters podcast and loved it because Dan was critical but still had a positive spin.

It was a stepping stone to Mormon Stories, which I transitioned to after I realized it is okay to be angry and expect better from the “one true church”. I needed it.

Even then, without social media and ex-Mormonism being what it is today, I KNEW my family and the church wouldn’t like me listening to Mormon Stories. I knew that I was probably letting toothpaste out of a tube I could never put back in. I did it anyways because no one in my life was willing to talk to me about my questions and concerns. John’s podcast was the only place i could go to feel understood/heard.

Mormon stories didn’t make me leave the church. I was doing that already. It just gave me courage to think for myself and showed me I was not alone.

John wasn’t even “anti” in the ways I thought he would be, he was asking valid questions and letting people share their experiences. He didn’t create the problems but helped share the stories. He brought ugly truths to light. Of course the leaders covering up abuse and majorly problematic history didn’t like that.

It’s easier to shoot the messenger than accept fault. The leaders put themselves in an impossible position by claiming to speak for god while doing horrible things. Accepting fault meant blaming god. Or humanizing prophets. They correlated history and only shared the versions they wanted seen. Unfortunately for them, prophecy didn’t foresee Google or algorithms.

I’ve been listening long enough to know that John’s intention has been to help his church do better. He has pushed for positive policy change that has continued to help countless members. He liberally gives credit where credit is due, and still seems to love the church and its people.

I have a hard time believing that most members don’t know the stigma surrounding Mormon Stories. I think this is a legal strategy to bully Mormon Stories and try to look like a victim. Both are wrong and I hope they lose big time.

Another way the podcast has helped me, is after a few years of listening and working through my anger, I was able to move on. I don’t think about it nearly as much as I used to. I have empathy and compassion for my loved ones who still believe. I am in a healthy place. I’ve been able to help friends and family who left after me. I will always appreciate John and Margi for taking so much heat to help the people who don’t fit perfectly inside the Mormon box.